Eric Snider Channels Randy Newman in His ’12 Years A Slave’ Song

If Eric Snider’s self-written biography is anything to go by, he is a busy man of several talents. To paraphrase from his own website, Eric is a freelance writer for several websites and publications, a critic, a columnist, a humorist, a bon vivant, a raconteur and a man-about-town. He is certainly a man with a diverse skill set!

Apparently, he is also quite modest, because he omitted “hilarious musician” from the list. Through his song-writing talents, Eric has the ability to make light of even the most depressing movie of the year, 12 Years A Slave. If you’ve ever wondered what kind of song Randy Newman would write for Steve McQueen’s harrowing drama, Eric has an answer for you. Give “Randy Newman’s Title Song from 12 Years A Slave” a listen because it is amazing.

 

 

If you enjoyed that (and of course you did because you have a great sense of humor), you should know that you can hire Eric to bring his particular brand of comedy to your publication by emailing him. Good show Eric, keep the gold coming!

Via SoundCloud and ericdsnider.com

‘From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series’ Trailer Sucks More Than Just Blood

As a die hard fan of Robert Rodriguez’s 1996 film, From Dusk Till Dawn, I know the one question I was asking for almost two decades was, “When will they finally milk this for all it’s worth and make a TV series?”

Wait, no, that’s the opposite of what I was waiting for.

Quite frankly, just a worthwhile sequel would have been perfectly fine but that was apparently too much ask for, apparently. No matter, some studio folks have come up with a From Dusk Till Dawn TV series and the trailer is here for you to watch and promptly place your face in palm.

I smelled trouble immediately when the first shot is some random nobody trying to do his best George Clooney impression of one of the original film’s memorable opening moments. Suffice to say that the actor completely butchers the line. This is the kind of stuff soap operas would be embarrassed to let slip onto the air. There are guys walking around in suits wielding guns and knives mumbling through really hackneyed dialogue surrounded by visuals that might be the best thing this trailer has to offer, but are equally as hackneyed and cliche.

 

 

There appears to be nothing new or exciting about this series and the trailer reflects all the evidence of that. How many times have you seen a dead body floating in a pool as blood spreads in the water? How many vampire/zombie movies have you see where the supernatural force is feeding on a body, only to have it quickly turn around and snarl at you? Those are almost the only two scenes I can really remember vividly after watching the trailer, aside from shots of cops standing in a hallway with their guns drawn, generic tough guy talk and other scenes of random action. All of this adds up to a series that I suppose I will at least try to watch the pilot, but have almost no hope of enjoying.

If you too feel inclined to check out the series and see how bad it might be for yourself, it premieres March 11th on the El Rey Network.

What do you think of the trailer? What are your thoughts on the original film? Were you begging for a TV series to begin with? Sound off below!

Via: YouTube

Michael Douglas joins Antman cast

The rise and rise of the superhero continues to grow and this shows in the increasingly big names that are attached to each project. Michael Douglas is the latest Hollywood alumni to join the ranks of these big names as he has been cast as Hank Pym in the Edgar Wright directed “Ant-Man”

Fans of Ant-Man will notice that Hank Pym was the original Ant-Man and Scott Lang stole the technology to save his dying daughter. It was unclear originally which Paul Rudd would be playing but now we have confirmation that he will be playing Scott. This introduces a new aspect into these comic book films that was as of yet unexplored – the idea of legacy heroes.

Kevin Feige, Marvel Studios president explained;

With Hank Pym’s rich history in the Marvel Universe, we knew we needed an actor capable of bringing the weight and stature to the role that the character deserves … We felt incredibly relieved when Michael Douglas agreed to step into the part with the charm and fortitude he brings to every character he inhabits, and couldn’t be more excited to see what he will do to bring Hank Pym to life.

 

 

Ant-Man also stars Paul Rudd in the title role and plot details are tightly under wraps though this news may point to the framework of the film.

Source: Movies.com

What do you think about this casting news and story implications? Comment below.

Aaron Paul’s driving himself in ‘Need for Speed’

Aaron Paul has proven that he is, without a doubt, a remarkable actor. As one of the stars of the greatly-revered Breaking Bad, he demonstrated his ability to be hilarious, sympathetic, despicable, caring, self-centered, bull-headed, and vulnerable, among a range of other emotions. In addition to his phenomenal abilities as an actor, he is more than willing to be proactive with some of his own stunts, as IGN’s featurette for the upcoming Need for Speed movie proves.

In the film adaptation of Electronic Arts’ racing game series, Paul will be driving himself toward vengeance. He will be play the role of

Tobey Marshall, a street racer and garage owner who finds himself in a serious financial crisis. In order to try and solve his problems he puts his trust in an old associate (Dominic Cooper), but the decision turns out to blow up in his face as Tobey finds himself framed for murder. Years later Tobey is released from prison, and with revenge in mind he embarks on a high-stakes underground cross-country race. Unfortunately, his former partner welcomes him back to the outside world by putting a bounty on his head.

In preparation for the role, the actor attended a stunt driving clinic, a portion of which was filmed by IGN. Watch the video below to see how Paul learned how to drift, drive backwards and other such driving techniques that a normal driver should hope to never use.

 

 

Even with Aaron Paul leading the film, I sincerely doubt that Need for Speed is going to be the film that breaks the trend of horrible video game movie adaptations. The plot is trite and derivative of the type of material that was left on The Fast and the Furious’ cutting room floor. Even if Paul brings his A-game, the material he has to work will is pretty weak. The movie is clearly beneath him but I guess the amount of money the studio offered him is not, and I can get behind that. Paul has other, more notable films coming up, such as Ridley Scott’s Exodus, so it’s not like doing this movie is a result of desperation.

Adding to Need for Speed‘s woes, the film’s director, Scott Waugh, is lacking in experience. He has only directed one other major film, 2012’s Act of Valor. That movie was basically a video game, so at least his resume show’s an inkling of experience with turning games into films, but the movie wasn’t too impressive overall. I’m not expecting big things from this one, but hey, I’ve been wrong before. Not often, but it happens. Need for Speed will be in theaters in March.

What are your thoughts about the upcoming Need for Speed movie? What do you think is the best movie based on a video game? Let us know in the comments!

Trailer for ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4 Builds on the series’ momentum

WARNING: Spoilers for Season Three of Game of Thrones ahead.

This weekend, fans of HBO’s adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones books were treated to a new trailer hyping the show’s upcoming fourth season. The video is less than two minutes long, but it does a nice job of previewing several important events to come without giving too much away. You can view the trailer down below.

The last season’s numerous tragedies have left many of the story’s pivotal characters in unenviable positions: Tyrion has been stripped of any real power at King’s Landing and has forced into a marriage he did not want, Jon Snow has returned to a nearly defenseless Castle Black and must somehow prevent a horde of Wildlings from breaching the Wall, Theon’s treachery has been rewarded with daily torture by the Bastard of Bolton, the number of living Starks continued to dwindle, especially after the murders of Robb, Catelyn, and most of their bannermen at the infamous Red Wedding, Roose Bolton has seized command the North through an agreement with the Lannisters, and Arya and Sansa are just as stranded as ever.

 

Still, other key characters start the fourth season in advantageous circumstances: Daenerys has toppled several powerful cities in the east, earning her tremendous respect and a multitude of loyal followers, Bran and the Reeds are making good progress on their journey beyond the Wall, the ever-reforming Jaime Lannister has returned to King’s Landing, and Davos is back in Stannis’ good graces.

The new trailer is an acceptable teaser for fans of the books, who will revel at the brief flashes of upcoming critical moments, as well as those who have only watched the show. Game of Thrones‘ fourth season is loaded with so many intersecting and compelling storylines and it is likely that the show will be even more addicting and emotionally-draining than it has ever been. Game of Thrones returns to HBO on April 6, so prepare yourself accordingly.

 

 

Which characters are you rooting for and against during this season of Game of Thrones? Who stand the best chance of securing the Iron Throne? Will it matter, given the number of external threats outside of the Seven Kingdoms? Share your thoughts and speculations in the comments! And please, if you’ve read the books, be considerate of where the show is in the story and mind your spoilers.

Shia LaBeouf Ragequits Hollywood

Celebrity meltdowns are always big news. When some well-known person flips their shit and loses what is left of their monkey mind, you can bet your ass we will gather around with popcorn in hand to watch the train wreck. This brings us to the latest celebrity implosion, one Shia LaBeouf. Shia has had a pretty rough deal of it lately, first plagiarizing noted cartoonist and screenwriter Daniel Clowes in a short film, then plagiarizing himself again in the apology for plagiary, then there was the the whole skywriting nonsense and you can begin to see how things kept going downhill from there.

Seriously dude, a sincere phone call wouldn’t have done it?

Being hounded on all sides for, let’s be honest, making poor decisions at every step of this process and being true to form of the modern celebrity breakdown, LaBeouf went ahead and lashed out and announced his retirement from “public life” via Twitter.

“In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity, I am retiring from all public life.”

If I can cut the snark for a second, it isn’t a big surprise the LaBeouf has had a meltdown here. Here is a guy who went through the Disney child star mill and was hand picked by the likes of Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, and Oliver Stone, some of the biggest names in the business, touting him around as the next big thing. Here is someone given opportunities to star in some of the biggest media franchises in the world such as Transformers and Indiana Jones, roles that were supposed to make him a megastar, instead they made fans of those properties hate him and look at him as a joke.  Now I’m in no way trying to make excuses for LaBeouf’s string of bad choices both in film and life, I’m only pointing out that anybody whose been through all that Shia has might be more than a little screwed up.

Personally, I hope Shia can make it back to the light. Underneath the hot mess that is his life I do think there is a talented person. Instead of being the leading man or action hero as he as been trying to do, I say he should embrace comedy again like he did in his youth. Shia always struck me as knowing how to play awkward and having pretty good comedic timing despite being handed jokes and comedic scenes that were often DOA. If he can get roles in some smart comedies and is willing to man up and eat a heaping helping of humble pie, Shia LaBeouf’s star may rise again.

What do you people think? Can Shia LaBeouf recover from this, and do you even want him to try? Let your voice be heard in the comments below!

Via /Film

‘Archer’ Season 5: A Few Secrets Declassified!

New year, great. Resolutions, whatever. The real reason to be excited for 2014, besides once again mocking the Mayans for the big wet shit they took predicting the apocalypse, is the return of Archer. Woo! Season 5 premieres Monday night, which means we just have to get through the longest goddamn Sunday since…some other really long Sunday in history that probably involved Nazis or some quarterback shattering his tibia in a double overtime playoff game. Hahaha. Make a wish, Theismann.

In preparation of this ass-kickingly glorious event (the Archer premiere, not the snapping of Joe Theismann’s balsa wood leg), I attended Archer Live here in Austin last night. Several members of the cast were in attendance, including the gorgeous Aisha Tyler, the incomparably incorrigible H. Jon Benjamin, and the frighteningly authentic Judy Greer.  Among the drinking, the butt dollars (yup), and the ASL interpreters being forced to sign filthy words that would make even Red Fox turn…well…red, several secrets about the upcoming season were revealed. Now, like highly handsome, but probably more-than-a-little incompetent agents of ISIS, I’m going to blab some of this intel all over the cyberweb. Eat a bag of dicks, WikiLeaks!

Now obviously if you intend on remaining completely unspoiled on season five…there’s a good chance you didn’t click on this article in the first place and I’m now just talking to myself. Thanks for making me look like an idiot, you stupid idiots!!!

Still, it bears noting that to read any further is to venture into a spoilery zone of danger. A danger zone of spoilers if you will. You’ve been warned…and Loggins’d.

 

Returning Characters

One of the things that makes Archer such an amazing show is that, in addition to the regular lineup, they feature some truly phenomenal voice talent to bring to life their ancillary characters and rogues gallery of villains. We have confirmation of some of these dastardly, bastardly, or just plain badass..tardly characters who will be returning this season.

RamonRamon Limon

The classy, but lethal Cuban agent who tried to blackmail Malory Archer with a rather scandalous piece of boudoir filmmaking. Limon is voiced by Ron “Hellboy” Perlman, who will be lending his gravely, Tom-Waits-y tones to the character once more.

Empty Space

Rudy and CharlesRudy and Charles

The most dangerous gay assassin duo since Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. What? Did no one fucking see Diamonds are Forever? Jeez, people, get some goddamn culture! Anyway, Rudy and Charles (voiced by Reno 911’s Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon respectively) return with Ramon. Apparently they’re like besties now. Also, never trust any man who routinely uses the word besties.

Empty Space

Mr. MotoMr. Moto

You know how I know George Takei is awesome? His yakuza boss character Mr. Moto took a bullet in the chest cavity from Malory Archer and lived! He will be making a comeback early in the new season as the gang finds themselves again crossing paths with the Japanese mob. And you know, they’re the yakuza so there will probably also be swords crossed…and shurikens thrown.

Empty Space

Conway SternConway Stern

After Lana “Truckasaurus” Kane ripped the guy’s hand off (that’s not what Archer meant when he asked you to “disarm him”, Lana…nailed it), Conway Stern vowed we hadn’t seen the last of him. He was right. Executive producer Matt Thompson revealed that Conway will be appearing again this season, but warned we might miss him if we blink. Oh shit, is he a Predator now? Cover yourselves in mud, people! It’s the only way to throw off their heat sensors!

 

 

New intro, New Attitude

archer_season_5_poster_2014_by_yakfu-d70uv7g

One of the worst kept secrets thus far regarding the fifth season of Archer is that the show is going in a completely different direction and that the ISIS crew will no longer be spies. Seriously, everybody knows. It’s as if billboards bearing this “surprise” were erected in every major city in America or as if…anyone told Pam even once. Yes, it turns out ISIS was never a sanctioned government agency in the first place so they are stricken of their federal funding, bombed by the FBI, and decide to make ends meet by selling an unbelievable amount of cocaine using Tunt Manor as their base of operations.

What you may not know is that this season’s second episode, which we’ve been told is another rampage episode, will carry with it a brand new opening title sequence. This title sequence will not only play up the new Archer Vice retitling and theme (it’ll be like Don Johnson threw up neon and pastel all over Scarface), but also feature for the first time in the featured cast list Mr. Lucky Yates who voices the conscience-free Dr. Krieger.

 

The Birth of Cheryline

ARCHER: "Cheryl" as voiced by Judy Greer

So Carol Cheryl whatever the hell her name was has changed her stupid name again. In season five, she’s now called Cheryline and has become, get this, a country music star. It’s true, we can’t make this shit up…but Adam Reed obviously can.

This fantastic aspect of this storyline is that it will also incorporate into the show one of the world’s greatest living musicians: Kenny “Daaaaanger Zone” Loggins! If you’re really quiet, you can actually hear the sound of my erection. In the episode, the pair record a duet country version of that epic Top Gun anthem. Not only that, but Judy Greer actually recorded an entire country album for the new season that will be separately released. I hate country music personally, but it would take an army of feral ocelots with M16s to keep me from purchasing this album. But honestly, if that unholy Ocelot army rises against us I guess the expansion of my musical taste will be the least of my concerns.

 

Krieger Clones

Krieger Clones

Speaking of unholy things, one of Dr. Krieger’s previously-alluded-to experiments will be a subplot this season on Archer. Remember when Malory made the office go green for the tax benefits and ended up killing Krieger’s…um…test tube Krieger babies? Well for Krieger, apparently that wasn’t enough of a sign from god, or whatever tentacle demon he worships, that maybe his horrific disregard for the laws of nature were unwise. There will be a point during this season in which Dr. Krieger will run into a few individuals who look remarkably familiar. Great, because that’s what we need: more of that guy. Good game, human race.

Late Season Focal Points

Barry

We’re not going to give away everything here, because we honor the writers of this series too much…and because the collected members of the cast and crew last night wouldn’t tell us everything. Mostly that first thing though. However, a couple of late-season focal points were hinted at during Archer Live.

First, we WILL find out the father of Lana’s baby. You may recall that season four ended with the shocking revelation that Lana was all kinds of knocked up. Is Archer a baby daddy? You know, besides the wee baby Seamus. By the way, it was revealed by Matt Thompson that the ONLY point of contention the network had with the entire run of Archer so far was the scene in which Seamus was hurled into the air and then caught. Tattoo a toddler? No problem, says FX. But scorn, reproach, and damnation should you play one measly game of Baby Airplane!

Secondly, Archer’s old enemy Barry is ever-looming and will reappear before the final credits roll on this fifth season. You remember Barry, right? The psycho cyborg? He will return to no doubt wreak more of his usual brand of inconvenient havoc.

Thoughts on these revealed secrets? What other hopes and expectations do you harbor for Archer Vice?

Five Lost Days in January

You may have heard, last weekend we had a bit of a snow shower here in Indiana. I’m told it was on the news.  There was a little snow, it was a little chilly, etc. I only know these things from looking out my window because from 5pm Friday until 9am Wednesday I didn’t leave my apartment. I didn’t see another person other than the idiots outside my window trying to drive.

So, this is a story about how a person ends up trying to find their old VHS of Top Gun at 3 am. Also known as the weekend we learned what happens when you leave me alone for almost 5 days.

Like most nerds, I am really good at entertaining myself. And my years of training prepared me perfectly for this opportunity. Almost 5 days of nothing to do but binge watch TV. I’m aware that some people may have done other things like play games or exercise or even talk to people, but since I live alone in a very tiny apartment and had absolutely no motivation, I did none of those other things. I’ve done some fairly impressive marathoning in my day, but this was my holy grail. (And yes, there was a Monty Python and the Holy Grail screening, sometime late Sunday afternoon if memory serves.)

Well, obviously.


Friday afternoon on my way home from work I made a quick stop at the grocery store to battle the masses for last minute provisions.  Unfortunately this was the point of the weekend where I made a serious miscalculation that would come back to haunt me.  I gravely underestimated my cookie and beer consumption.  I also got caught up in the moment and decided to buy some bananas because that’s what everyone else was doing.  I don’t like bananas, so that was obviously a good purchase.

I arrived home with high hopes for a focused viewing experience.  I had used my time at work productively and had settled on a themed weekend of British shows.  I had a couple of episodes of Atlantis and several Doctor Whos sitting in my DVR, and was more than ready to dive in to another Torchwood marathon.  And, I assumed at some point I would dig out my DVD of the original version of The Office.  Ah plans. 

Turns out I forgot my attention span is worse than a three year old’s.  My blizzard of 2014 experience quickly turned into a giant game of Six Degrees of TV Nonsense. I started Saturday morning with every intention of using my time wisely and getting my DVR cleaned out. After all, we’re less than a month from the Olympics and I’m going to need a lot of space for all the curling and ski jumping I’ll be recording. Sadly I’m not kidding. This noble quest lasted about 2 hours. As I started my journey with BBC’s Atlantis, I found myself getting distracted by the accents and couldn’t think about anything other than Torchwood. That’s fine right?  It was part of the plan anyway…

This is where things starting falling apart.  I made it 3 episodes before John Barrowman made me want to watch Arrow. Too bad I was already caught up on that thanks to the stupid December gap in new episodes, but that’s a rant for another day. Ultimately I decided my sadness over Arrow could only be alleviated by another hero without any superpowers, so out came my Batman collection. Surely I could make it through the Dark Knight trilogy without getting sidetracked, right? Wrong. Oh wait, is that Gary Oldman I see? Fiiiine, time for Prisoner of Azkaban. And Order of the Phoenix. (At some point I took a break to watch the Colts win one of the craziest games I’ve ever seen, but time had already lost all meaning to me by then.)

The weekend flew by as I went from Harry Potter to a sort-of Underworld marathon to a few episodes of Prison Break, through Monty Python and the Holy Grail and eventually to a valiant but doomed attempt to watch Life of Brian on the internet.

Sometime Monday I realized I needed to choose something and stick with it, I was starting to mix up story lines and wonder why American shows suddenly sounded like they were being done in British accents. I decided on The White Queen on Starz.  One season.  I knew I could do 10 hours and I love historical dramas, so I settled in determined to make it.  And other than a brief dalliance with a few episodes of Community and a slightly longer flirtation with BSG just for kicks (and a break to watch the BCS National Championship game), I did it.  I finished a show! Yes by this point that actually counted as an achievement.

achievement

By Tuesday evening I was a little bit bored, somehow tired after doing nothing for 4+ days, and dangerously close to watching the news or something educational. I watched a couple of episodes of Spartacus which always cheers me up, but my heart just wasn’t in it anymore. I was aimlessly channel surfing when it happened. I saw an ad for Oblivion on HBO.  Tom Cruise? OH MY GOD I had to watch Top Gun or I was going to die.  Problem, I don’t have it on DVD.  It’s not on demand.  I still don’t have Netflix.  So, that is how I ended up digging through boxes in the back of my closet at 3 am trying (and failing) to find it on VHS.  Had I found it, I have no idea how I planned on getting my old VCR hooked up.

Still, finding it may be a bit of an issue…

I think it’s safe to say it’s a good thing I had to be back at work late Wednesday morning.  I’m not sure how much longer I could have lasted!  How did you all entertain yourselves during the super awesome weather? I’m sure at least some of you were more productive than me…

Watch The Golden Globes…With US!

Hey everybody, Steak Plissken here.

This Sunday marks the yearly arrival of the most prestigious entertainment awards show. No, no that one…the other one.

That’s right, it’s The Golden Globes. A time-honored tradition of watching celebrities have a nice meal. It’s the place where, as returning co-host Amy Poehler puts it, “the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television.” And you can rub digital shoulders with the crew of OneOfUs.Net as we broadcast our live coverage.  It’s another OneOfUs Gathering!

Tune in to this post this Sunday starting at 7pm CST to hear your favorite OOU personalities weigh in on who should win, who has the best awkward crowd shot moment, and whose acceptance speech made us laugh the most (intentionally or unintentionally).

So dress to the nines, or just put on your favorite pair of sweatpants because after all this is just audio, and join us for what promises to be the most irreverent and probably crass Golden Globes coverage on the web!

 

Movie Review: The Legend of Hercules

Hercules. Child of the king of the gods. A symbol for strength and accomplishment.

Why did they hire Kellan Lutz to play him again?

Ok, so NO ONE making this film had any pretensions that they were making high art, to be sure (or even low art, really). Just watching the trailer says it all. But is it the kind of B-movie that’s fun regardless of all the cheese? Is there a reason to see it other than manly bo-hunks (if that’s your thing)?

Leave it up to Chris, Ashley, Elliot and JC to make the call. Check out what our Unusual Suspects have to say about “The Legend of Hercules”.