Chairman of the Board: What a Fiasco

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

My bumbling but stone-cold-evil ship captain was supposed to cross the Atlantic without a hitch. Brian’s simple-minded saboteur was supposed to sink the ship in act of petty vengeance. Chris’ eccentric detective was supposed to track down that mystical dagger that’s gone missing. And Toni…well, I’m not sure what Toni’s original plans were, but I’m fairly certain she didn’t see herself instigating the end of the world with a plot that would earn Cthulhu’s nod of approval.

In short, it was safe to call the whole thing a fiasco. Which is really appropriate since we we were playing a game of Fiasco, the brilliant and endlessly repayable indie role playing game that just-so-happens to be one of the greatest things to ever hit my table. It’s the perfect RPG for people tired of hack-and-slash fantasy. More importantly, it’s the perfect RPG for people who are completely new to this type of game.

Segue: accomplished.

Fiasco Banner

Designed by Jason Morningstar, Fiasco is a RPG that’s about as far from a session of Dungeons & Dragons than you can possibly imagine. More like a loosely structured combination of writer’s room and improv exercise than a typical game, Fiasco asks three to five players to build a perilous, verge-of-disaster style situation before gleefully tearing it down. Although the rule book cites the pitch-black comedies and noirs of the Coen brothers as a chief influence, the game is only limited by the imaginations of the players, with the group around the table building a story that can be realistically devastating or completely out of this world.

Did my latest group set out to tell a story that felt like a Marx brothers comedy written by HP Lovecraft? No, but it’s what emerged organically from all of us putting our demented, beer-drenched, horrifyingly immature brains together.

The real beauty of Fiasco is that it offers seemingly unlimited depth from a very simple framework of rules. First, players select a Playset, AKA, the setting in which your tale of woe and mayhem will take place. Some of these are simple (“A Nice Southern Town”) and some get awesomely specific and niche (the De Medici family in Renaissance Italy), but with dozens of official and unofficial sets available for free online, you’ll surely find one that appeals to your group.  Then you roll a whole bunch of dice in the middle of the table and must use the available numbers to build a web of relationships, needs, objects and locations that tie everyone at the table together. Eventually, every player at the table will be connected in perilous, unstable, selfish and hilarious ways, with a story already beginning to emerge.

Fiasco ArrowsIf you and the player to your left share a crime relationship and and a need to get revenge on a family member, then maybe the guy you want to take down is the player to your right, who has been established as your father-in-law. And maybe that player is the mayor, who shares some shady blackmail photos with the player to her right. You can already see the possibilities, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the web of relationships you’ll build.

And then it’s all carefully plotted chaos from there (or not so carefully plotted, depending on your group). Players take turns establishing scenes, with everyone roleplaying their characters as they pursue whatever it is that they’re after (the more selfish and petty the better). Outcomes of scenes are decided by the non-active players handing out black or white dice, deciding whether or not a scene ends well or poorly for the subject. It’s a brilliant system — if you want your character to succeed at his plans, you’ve got to captivate the rest of the table and convince them that your scene should end well.

There are no winners or losers in Fiasco — it’s all just group storytelling, with the goal being to create the most twisted and imaginative tale possible. There are a few other rules (the “Tilt” introduces new twists halfway through the game, and the “Aftermath” is a brilliant mechanic that has everyone creating an end-of-movie montage of what happened to the characters), but they exist simply to facilitate your story and keep things interesting.

To give you an idea of Fiasco’s range, here are a few of the stories I’ve created with my friends using this system:

A young minister attempts to take down his boss, who may or may not have taken advantage of a young boy years before, by corrupting a church volunteer into seducing him and exposing him for what he is. Meanwhile, the now-grown victim grows increasingly close to a breakdown.

An antarctic research base is visited by a FBI agent, who suspects that the installation’s military commander is an impostor (Spoiler: he is). Things get complicated when the FBI agent’s petty, vengeful girlfriend is revealed to be working on the base alongside an innocent young intern, who the fake commander manipulates into helping silence the agent once and for all.

And, of course, there’s the game I described at the top of this very column, where the passengers on board a 1932 transatlantic cruise liner engaged in a plot so bizarre and meta that it all-but-demands Graham Chapman to march into the plot and announce that it’s all too silly. I can’t help but imagine Morningstar seeing this particular session and sighing the deepest or sighs, but damn it, fun is fun and I’ve yet to play a game of Fiasco where I haven’t enjoyed myself.

 

The most miraculous thing about Fiasco (besides its slim but seemingly limitless rule book) is what a truly collaborative and positive experience it is. Although the stories you generate tend to range dark to uncomfortably bizarre, few games will make you laugh as much and fewer games will push you to be so creative. With no game master, Fiasco allows everyone to work together, pausing scenes to ask for suggestions and letting players throw out suggestions from the sidelines. Shy players needn’t worry — Fiasco may ask you to play a character, but it never puts you on the spot. There is no wrong way to play. There is only bullshitting with your buddies. And your bullshit will occasionally be hilarious. Sometimes, it’ll be compelling and dramatic. Hell, a game with a few vets can be an unexpectedly moving experience.

If you’re a writer or an actor or a creative person in general, there are few games that’ll scratch your itch to create as well as Fiasco. If you like your games rigid and enjoy a clear sense of direction with obvious goals and a winner and some losers, this is not for you. All I can say is that I regularly think about the stories I’ve created in Fiasco. I wonder what would have happened if my character had been more sympathetic or a little less selfish. I wonder what would have happened if the dice had rolled a little differently and I was an upstanding businessman and not a crack dealer. I wonder if we were too harsh on a character and that giving him a black die and damning him to a painful beat-down at the hands of the Mexican mafia was the wrong decision.

Most of all, I wonder when I can play again.

While I have your attention, I’d like to use this space to introduce you to Chairman of the Board’s companion audio show, The Die Cast. You can find additional information about the show and this episode in particular over at its main page, but here are the basics: for our debut episode, I sat down with One Of Us champions Brian Salisbury, Chris Cox, Toni Taylor-Salisbury and Ashley Moreno for a round of Fiasco. Things got really weird. They also got a little drunk. Then they got pretty nonsensical, offensive and slightly incomprehensible. We do not mean half of the things we say. We are so sorry.

THE_DIE_Cast_371

In the future, the Die Cast will include additional RPG sessions (including more, er, controlled Fiasco), interviews with game designers and scintillating conversation about the latest and greatest in the tabletop gaming world. In the meantime, enjoy our debut episode and don’t be afraid to let us know what you think in the comments below!

OneOfUs.Show–‘You’re Next’s Barbara Crampton & A.J. Bowen On Acting

For the sophomore installment of our swanky new geeky interview series, we are joined by You’re Next‘s Barbara Crampton and A.J. Bowen.

Barbara and A.J. are both quite at home in the horror genre, Barbara in films like Re-Animator and From Beyond and A.J. in House of the Devil and The Signal.

Instead of asking the usual questions themed to the movie, we chat about their passion for the artform of acting itself. Tune in to hear what our very first celebrity guests have to say about what makes them one of us.

Lionsgate’s You’re Next opens this Friday in theaters nationwide. Go see it!

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Oh, but wait, you can also view the show on YouTube! With visuals! Because it’s on YouTube!

Digital Noise Episode 7: The Night Owl Tapes

Prepare yourselves, Digi-noise-castee’s, for a veritable plethora of the reviews of home-release titles that you are presumably here for. I can’t imagine it’s for the puns.

Brian and Chris fall with Olympus, wonder why there are so many songs about rainbows, go on an extraordinarily weird French adventure, punk it up with Death, chase ghosts along the Devil’s Backbone, and much, much, MUCH more.

Now I don’t want to upset you folks, so don’t worry: even though Luke isn’t here again this week, he’s almost certainly saving the world from evil (or over-long cuts of films at least), and he will be back soon. But never fear! We’ve got more mysterious messages from the Letterbox and TWO (count ’em) TWO giveaways for ya, that you’ll need to turn on your creative juices for if you want the chance to win. And you want to win. AND you want to tell all your friends about your favorite DVD/blu-ray release show, Digital Noise….

…as always, here to make your Tuesday a little brighter.

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Thinking of purchasing any of the titles we discussed? Or anything from Amazon in general? Please access Amazon via our links to help support the site. We really appreciate it!

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Inside The Locker: Fantasy Football Preview

After delving into FX’s The League last week, the denizens of that sweaty jock box now take you from the world of fictional fantasy football to the more realistic world of real-life fantasy football. Did your eyes go crossed? Good.

That’s right, Inside the Locker will be hosting their own fantasy football league for this upcoming season, and you’re invited to join! Leave a comment in this post if you’d like to play or you can send a tweet to @jcdeleon1 and let him know of your interest.

In the meantime, we are offering a beginner’s guide to fantasy football. We breakdown all the key positions and tell you who we would, and probably will, draft. Listen up, voice your interest, and prepare for our draft on August 31st.

It’s all part of our nerd football fantasy.

 

Show Breakdown:

 

Scores and Stories (2:49)

Kobe Bryant

Topics Discussed: McNab Accuses RGIII of Being Brainwashed, J.J. Watt Wants to Play Offense and Defense, Manny Ramirez Released by Rangers, Mysterious Fan Death at Turner Field, Lakers Projected to Finish 12th in the West.

 

He Might Be a Cyborg (23:30): The Proto-borg

Baby Bot

Philadelphia Eagles OL Lane Johnson tweeted a picture of his newborn son David and remarked about the size of his hands. That baby has enormous mitts! Is he really a human child, or the first of a human/robot hybrid experiment? We’re just asking (ridiculous) questions.

Mini First Draft (27:24): Korean Gorilla Baseball Movie Remake

Our Neighbor Adam brought to our attention this trailer for an upcoming Korean sports movie entitled Mr. Go 3D. In the film, near as we can tell, a giant CG gorilla becomes a professional baseball player. We therefore decided to discuss who will direct the inevitable American remake of this movie. Stop reading this and watch the trailer immediately.

 

Main Topic: ITL Fantasy Football Preview (36:00)

Fantasy Football

Who are the best quarterbacks to draft and when should you draft them? What are some basic fantasy football strategies you can employ to win your league? Is shit-talking appropriate? How do you sign up to play against the hosts of Inside the Locker? All these questions will be answered. Let’s get ready to kick this off!

 

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The Original Gentlemen: Episode IV

Run B.M.C. is back discussing lots of geeky goodness. This week we talk the new David Tennant show Broadchurch, talk Dr. Who casting controversies, Marvel Phase 2, the F/X show The Bridge, look at Chris Claremont’s classic Wolverine mini-series that influenced the new film, take lots of questions from fans, and even more on top of all that!

Oh, and beer. Lots of beer.

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ITL Summerslam Commentary–Listen Live!

Slide on your spandex, tape up your elbows, and prepare your best in-ring insults. Inside the Locker is headed to Summerslam! We will be broadcasting a live commentary for the WWE Pay-Per-View with the locker gents as well as Amanda Arias from Geek Bombast’s All Rings Considered.

We’ll be breaking down every match, discussing our favorite wrestlers from years past, and being generally drunk and disorderly. Can’t afford the Pay-Per-View? No sweat, you can still tune in for our live (and completely free) commentary. Don’t be a heel, join us for WWE Summerslam!

Just check back to this post Sunday, August 18th at 6:00pm central.  Can’t join us live? Fear not, we’ll post the commentary as its own podcast later.

Streaming Live by Ustream

Digital Noise Episode 6: West of Mud

This week’s episode takes your favorite couch potatoes from a muddy Arkansas riverbank to the place beyond the pines to the deserts of Ishtar. The starkly varying quality of the titles discussed on this episode is almost like its own flashpoint paradox. Also we review Community Season 4.

Even without our favorite beardy Luke Mullen, we wade through a sea of titles, answer your questions in the Letterbox, and offer a bone-crushing martial arts giveaway.

It’s Tuesday, so it must be…Digital Noise!

 

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Thinking of purchasing any of the titles we discussed? Or anything from Amazon in general? Please access Amazon via our links to help support the site. We really appreciate it!

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Space Operas in the Kitchen: An Evening of Twilight Imperium

My table buckles underneath the weight of an entire galaxy.

Supernovas. Nebulas. Ion storms. Dozens of planets. And spaceships. Lots of spaceships. Whole fleets of them, each of them in a shaky alliance with their neighbors…or at total war.

At the center of it all is Mecatol Rex, the capital of this war-torn slice of the universe, the home of the now-extinct royal family whose deaths created the power vacuum that caused this civil war in the first place. Holding Mecatol Rex is the key to winning the war…and Daniel’s forces are sitting pretty on the surface.

Daniel is my friend, the ally on my left flank who I have treated honorably since the start of the conflict. In his rush for the galactic capital, he’s left his home planets wide open for the taking. My massive fleet hovers nearby, en route to another corner of the war, but I have a sudden change of heart. If I don’t cut Daniel off at the knees, someone else will. And that may win them the war.

I feel my soul die a little as I turn my Dreadnoughts and Cruisers toward my ally’s home world.

Twilight Imperium Board Game Review 2

Twilight Imperium is one of the best board games ever made, but it’s also one of the most daunting. Its massive box (and its two expansions) house a tabletop spaceopera that’s unlike anything you’ve played before, a game that’ll ask you to not only war with you opponents, but to make strategic alliances, work together to pass laws in a governing assembly and make morally devastating choices. It’s also something of a marathon, with games often running 10-12 hours. There are few things as devastating as watching your longterm plan get crippled in hour seven, leaving you grasping at straws as your well-oiled space empire splinters apart.

You don’t play Twilight Imperium unless your skin is thick enough to withstand crushing disappointment and the betrayal of your so-called friends. You don’t play Twilight Imperium unless you’re prepared to think on your feet and rebuild your wrecked space empire after an invasion destroys your economy. Like a real war, Twilight Imperium tests your ability to out-think your opponents as well as your ability to physically out-last them. It takes a lot of nerve a big pair of balls to stay sharp over the course of a half day long game.

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The crew arrives around 7:30 for rules explanation, but we aren’t actually playing until close to 9:00. There are a handful of Twilight Imperium veterans at the table, but most of them are rookies, fresh meat to power the War Suns.

As I explain the rules, I see many confused faces and furrowed brows, even from some of the experienced gamers. Although there is no single rule in Twilight Imperium that is more confusing than your average game of world/galactic conflict, there are bunch of rules. Your fleets can be composed of many types of ships. Planets you conquer offer radically different kinds of bonuses. Each alien race plays differently and each player has a deck of technology cards that he can buy from as he pleases. At it’s core, this is a remarkably straightforward game — you just have to comprehend the dozens of relatively straightforward options.

With rules explained, we build the galaxy*, with each player taking turns placing hexes featuring planets, barriers and other spacey things around Mecatol Rex, eventually leading to the far edge, where they place their home planets and their starting fleets. Ready or not, the game has begun.

Twilight Imperium is not necessarily about warring. As tempting as it can be to start an all-out war, this is a game of collecting victory points and sometimes, getting embroiled in a conflict will only distract you from actually winning the game. Throughout the game, various objective cards become available and each of them have a point value. Can you upgrade four pieces of tech? That’s worth a point. Can you have eight spaceships orbiting Mecatol Rex? That’s a point or two. The first person to ten points win the game. That’s what separates this from thematically similar (and simpler) games like Risk. Having a lot of might may allow you to crush your enemies, but it may not allow you to win the game. A scalpel can be more effective than a sledgehammer.

The really wily Twilight Imperium players are those who convince their friends to battle each other while they secure points, turning the various cold wars around the table hot while surviving through diplomacy and/or threats. It’s hard to win if you insist on playing clean.

Twilight Imperium 3

Right off the bat, I make an alliance with my Daniel to my left and Toni to my right, even going to far as to draw borders where we’re not allowed to cross. Across the table, George, Seth and David form a three-way team (which seems destined to fail since all three are trapped behind a string of ion storms and the only way out if through each other). Tyler and Paul make nice as well, effectively turning this into a game of three alliances.

As expected, the first few rounds are quiet and the alliances hold. Each empire expands into the unoccupied planets surrounding their home space. My race of bug people push against the borders of Toni’s sentient stars and Daniel’s diplomatic turtles, but our alliances hold. Everyone tests the water, gathers resources and preps their economies.

No one fires a shot for an hour or two.

And then it happens. The George/David/Seth alliance, already strained by the limited amount of territory in their neck of the galaxy, shatters when David’s forces declare war on George, who has focused most of his fleet on defending potential offensive from Paul. The table buzzes with excitement as David’s space pirates stomp George’s defenses.

We label David an oathbreaker. The title sticks to him throughout the rest of the game.

I imagine it’s possible to play Twilight Imperium in total silence, but I also imagine that game would stink. The game may have a 50 page rule book and more tiny plastic ships, decks or cards and cardboard tokens than any other game I’ve ever played, but it’s up to you to supply the most vital component: the right people. A game of Twilight Imperium isn’t defined by the beautifully sculpted pieces or the gorgeous art on the cards. It’s defined by personalities inhabiting the board.

Sure, Toni could have plotted her secret invasion of Seth’s homeland by quietly upgrading her forces and moving them into a seemingly innocent position by herself, but she didn’t. She would turn to me and we’d plot together, with me wanting her to cripple Seth’s forces and her wanting to ensure that our alliance would remain intact if she left her empire open to invasion.

We connived. We lied. I helped convince Seth that Toni wasn’t a threat and that he needed to move his forces to defend against THAT GODDAMNED OATHBREAKER DAVID. He fell into our trap and Toni cut him off at the knees, taking his home planet and leaving his fleet in tatters.

Twilight Imperium Blog

It was glorious. It was beautiful. It may not have been my plan, but I was a part of it. I was a character in the drama around the table, a key player in the space opera being played out on my kitchen. Knowing what I was plotting with Toni made all of the glances and whispered exchanges between Paul and Tyler across the table all the more exciting. What the hell were those two plotting? And how could I convince Daniel to undermine their alliance?

At one point in the night, Paul realizes that he misunderstood a rule and had been building and moving his units at about half efficiency for the past eight hours. He’s too strong to cry, but I know his heart is weeping.

And here we are, back where we started.

Daniel occupies Mecatol Rex and I’ve let him. We have a deal. He holds it to squeeze a few points out of it and then he’ll relinquish control to me. But I’m worried. The game is speeding up. Points are being accumulated faster than ever. I’m not winning. By the time Daniel gives the capital to me, it’ll be too late. I know it.

I maneuver my fleet into his territory, promising that I’m using his turf as a shortcut to invade one of Tyler’s planets. Of course, I’m a lying bastard and Daniel, being a good ally and friend, does nothing while I amass a titanic navy on his border.

I strike. Daniel’s home forces are decimated and the bulk of his fleet remains half a galaxy away on Mecatol Rex. It’s not an easy fight and I take heavy losses, with at least half of my spaceships exploding in the skies above Daniel’s home world.

But it’s mine. I plant my flag, put my ships in a defensive formation and begin to taunt the table with stories of how I’m putting all of Daniels’ citizens in camps and destroying his culture.

In the next turn, Tyler takes advantage of my less-than-stellar hold on Daniel’s planets and annihilates me, effectively taking me out of the war.

It takes a special kind of crazy to agree to play a ten hour space warfare game, but it takes another brand of crazy altogether to play a ten hour space warfare game well. An eight player game of Twilight Imperium is an exhausting and draining experience and for many gamers, it won’t be fun at all. Strong empires slip and crumble as their leaders get sleepy and lose focus. Smart, quiet empires emerge in the final hours to win the game, having planted all of the seeds and waited for the perfect time to strike. You win Twilight Imperium by enduring. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Looking back on it now, I betrayed Daniel at the exact wrong time. I could have gotten away with it a few rounds earlier or a few rounds later, but I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I made a tactical decision so devastating that it left both of our space empires in ruins, letting Tyler and Toni sweep in to take advantage of the chaos. I spent the rest of the game desperately attempting to recall my reserve fleet from deep in Paul’s turf (where I was raiding his weakly defended flank and just being an asshole), but it was no use. My war was lost and it was my fault.

Twilight Imperium 4

It’s hour ten and David and Toni are neck-and-neck. Both of them are one point away from victory — the next person to score gets the throne. As both Toni and David’s forces prep for the final bloody onslaught, an assembly is called and George proposes a law from his political deck. Everyone at the table has to vote for a single player to receive a single victory point. Cue gasps. Cue exhausted laughter. Cue the snoring of certain players from the other room.

We all examine our war-ravaged populations and count our influence, the numbers (representing the population of our empires) needed to contribute the vote. It’s all come down to this: the conclusion of the war looks like it’ll be decided by a session in space congress.

No one wrote a screenplay for this session of Twilight Imperium, but the result is a perfect conclusion for our space opera. Toni snags the final point and secures victory, leaving David, the oathbreaker whose aggressive acts started this war in the first place, in the dust.

On paper, that may seem like an anticlimactic ending to such an epic game, but I can’t ask for a more fitting conclusion. For all of the tactics and all of the strategy and all of the rules and clever mechanics, the real joy of Twilight Imperium is the story your group ends up weaving. The order of our seating, the selection of our alien races, the shifting moods of the table and the randomly generated map all contributed to an epic tale of conquest and betrayal, of war and peace, of diplomacy and friendship. Every game of Twilight Imperium is a new story, a fresh experience that, by its very nature, feels like an epic book or movie.

Our story, our movie/book, told the tale of a great empire whose reach exceeded its grasp, with the mistakes of his past coming back to haunt him when the keys to victory were in the hands of the people he so boldly betrayed and battled. My personal rise and fall feels like an appropriate subplot: I attacked my friend and was punished for it. My mistakes in judgment stopped being poor gameplay choices and started feeling like thematically appropriate scenes in a gripping science fiction story.

I may be a loser, but damn it, my tragic tale is one for the ages.

Twilight Imperium 5

The sun is beginning to rise. The kitchen countertops are a mess of beer bottles and soda cans. The galaxy, disheveled and divvied up eight ways, sits on the table, a snapshot of glory and misery.

Everyone is tired. Some of us are disgruntled. Everyone looks ready to die from
exhaustion.

And all I can think about is our next game of Twilight Imperium.

*Observant gaming vets will note that we accidentally broke the rule that says you’re not allowed to place two red-bordered tiles next to each other.

 

Fiasco

Next Time On Chairman of the Board: Watch us create a situation built on a pile of dynamite and light a match as we get ourselves involved in a Fiasco.

Inside The Locker: The League of Their Own

This week, those four frittatas, who constantly make the inside of the locker smell like a bag of Indian-food-vomiting socks, bring you their favorite moments from the FX series The League. The show may center on fantasy football, but you don’t have to enjoy the sport in either plane of reality in order to enjoy it. You just have to know some truly awful people in your own life, some of whom you may even call close friends. We’ll breakdown all the reasons you should have already been watching The League as well as announcing ITL’s own fantasy football league!

Scores, stories, and other general shenanigans appear as well. If five of you listen to this fantastical episode of Inside the Locker, we’ve out-kicked our coverage.

SHIVA KAMINI SOMA KANDARKRAM!!!!

 

Show Breakdown:

Scores and Stories (19:00)

Football Phone

Topics Discussed: A-Rod’s Suspension, Jackie Robinson Statue Defaced, Greg Oden Signs with Heat, New New Orleans Pelicans Uniforms, NFL Celebration Restrictions, Football on Your Phone Manning Commercial

Main Topic: The League on FX (49:50)

League Pic

Whether you count yourself a Pete, a Ruxin, a Kevin, A Dre, a Taco, or a Jenny, FX’s The League is a hilarious exploration of the love/hate relationship we can have with even our best friends. When petty competitiveness trumps lesser qualities like kindness, generosity, and an across-the-aboard adherence to the law, you have the makings of comedy gold. The League Season 5 premieres on FX September 4, at 10:30 PM.

 

Don’t have Netflix? Buy the first three seasons from Amazon (Shiva will bless you for supporting our site).

The League Season 1   The League Season 2   The League Season 3

Digital Noise: Episode 5

Set your phasers to fun, Digiphiles! This week, captains Brian, Chris, and Luke boldly go on a fantastic voyage that takes them all the way from Oblivion to a New World. A wide variety of interesting titles covered as well as an outstanding Korean gangster film giveaway. Not to mention answering questions from a couple of awesome ladies in The Letterbox.

Crank the dial up to 12 and enjoy the Digital Noise.

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