It has been remarked that manners maketh man, but as in all things, our understanding of propriety around here is Highly Suspect. Luckily, we take lessons on both citizenship and impeccable fashion sense from Kingsman: The Secret Service.
Colin Firth stars as Harry Hart (alias Galahad), a dapper and dangerous member of a top secret organization determined to protect the world from those who would seek to destroy it. One such ne’er do well is a tech mogul named Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson), and his diabolical scheme requires all hands on deck at Kingsman HQ. Galahad helps train a young recruit named Eggsy (Taron Egerton), an unlikely, but ultimately suitable candidate for this cadre of gentlemen spies.
A few of the upstanding gentlemen who comprise The Unusual Suspects suit up to break down Matthew Vaughn’s cheeky love letter to/sendup of James Bond. Brian, Chris, Elliott, and J.C. gather round the table to not-so-secretly laud this refreshingly well-crafted action comedy that packs just as much subtext as it does punch.
This week Wes and Steve get pretty NSFW as they discuss Jamaica, manuals for certain parts of the body, and our Top 5 Least Sexy “Sexy Costumes”! Enjoy!
What are your Top 5 Least Sexy “Sexy Costumes”? Let us know! E-mail us at fiveplaynet@gmail.com!
Welcome to the movie that everyone was poised to hate. Well, everyone here at OneOfUs studios, anyway, but we’ve all got SOMEONE in our lives who is excited as all hell about it. And after watching Fifty Shades of Grey, The Unusual Suspects are a bit baffled by this affection. Perhaps even a bit worried about the people we know who love it so much.
The story (such as it is) follows a young soon-to-be college graduate (Dakota Johnson) who is seduced by a billionaire (Jamie Dornan) and asked to become his submissive in a sadist/masochist relationship, complete with a multi-page contract of agreed upon sexual proclivities and, of course, lots of emotional abuse and stalking. Chris, Diva, JC and special guest Harris (aka Dr. Nerdlove) do their best to straighten out the kinks in this adaptation of the confusingly insanely popular book that started out as Twilight fan fiction.
If you enjoyed the review and you want more, AND if you’re a Jedi level subscriber, we’ve got a “Aftershow: 50 Shades” waiting for you in your specific subscriber forum.
I want to start this out with a warning. We had some new developments in the garage this week that both unleashed Kevin from his production role, and encouraged his usage of “Dad Pun Humor”. While this show was extremely fun for us, I can’t really tell you that you will be free from some freewheeling “humor”, a lot of which involves old-dude 80’s sitcom “Newhart”. Which is such an obvious go-to seeing as how we are discussing RUN-DMC’s 1988 mixed bag of tricks “Tougher Than Leather”.
So, the major new development for the show this week (and the for-seeable future) is that Mark Couvillion is going to stay on with us, albeit in a different role. He’s gonna be taking on the role of show producer and while he won’t always be picking up a mic, he will be in the room with us…fact-checking, more fact-checking, being utilized as an ally, making us wrap up “discussions that are going no-where”, and other “grown-up” stuff like that. YAY PRODUCER MARK!!!
Ok, so RUN-DMC. Who knew they had a Monkees cover on this record? We all had a lot to say, and although I dropped a disclaimer (is that an Adam Sandler joke?) earlier in this missive, it is a pretty fun discussion (AND Ryan went to pick up his laundry mid-show again. Laundry wasn’t ready, schadenfreude ensued).
When I was in my early 20s, many of my favorite films were all period pieces. Movies were a time machine for me, and I loved to dive into the visual grandeur of films like Shekhar Kapur’s Elizabeth and Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. Filmmakers relish in recreating the stage for eras gone by, and particular care is always given to the accuracy of costume and set design.
Unfortunately, for those of us trained in professional make up application, many period pieces fall flat in the accuracy department when it comes to our craft. Historical figures are frequently made up using trends that were popular when the movie was being filmed, instead of when the story took place.
I’ll highlight a few perfect examples of this phenomenon. I’m going to use the iconic and real life historical figure, Cleopatra.
First allow me to indulge you in a quick ancient Egyptian make-up lesson. To start, they primarily only had four colors at their disposal for make-up: black, blue/green, white, and red. Men and women wore the famous eyeliner with the long line trailing out of the corner of their eyes in shades of black or blue/green. They believed it strengthened and protected the eyes, so everybody who could afford it wore eyeliner. Eyebrows were extended out to the sides in a matching color to the eyeliner. Red was used to tint lips, hair, and nails. The nobility all shaved their heads and the women of high status wore wigs for every occasion. The white make-up at their disposal was primarily used to paint the body and mostly by men. Here’s a famous painting of a lady in full make-up.
So let’s go to 1917’s Cleopatra, played by the legendary Theda Berra. Here we see pure 1910-1920s make up, NOT true ancient Egyptian style. Berra has flattened out her eyebrows, a very trendy technique of her decade and is wearing black smoky, pencil eyeliner. She looks great for 1917, but apart from the wig and red lips, she ain’t no true Cleopatra.
Theda Berra
Moving on to 1934’s Cleopatra played by Claudette Colbert. Once again, no care is taken to make her look like a true Cleopatra of Egypt. Colbert is a spot-on beauty bombshell for 1934 and the film makers are banking completely on her hair as any visual indication that she is an Egyptian empress.
Claudette Colbert
Now here Vivien Leigh from 1945’s Caesar and Cleopatra. Leigh’s a little closer to accuracy than her counterparts, but once again, her make-up is right in line with what was popular in the 1940s.
Vivien Leigh
Skipping ahead to Elizabeth Taylor’s Cleopatra from 1963, we see that the eyeliner is spot-on in some scenes, but that was also super hip in the 1960s. The solid eye shadow and strong use of blush gives Taylor a contempory-chic look that is not ancient Egypt appropriate.
Elizabeth Taylor
Now, interestingly enough, there were very few films in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s that were made about Cleopatra. The new millennium however brought back a love of ancient Egypt in cinema and several depictions of Cleopatra came to the big screen. The eternally gorgeous Monica Bellucci filled our eyes with her dangerous curves in Asterix & Obelisk. However, apart from the use of wigs and the occasional extra eyeliner, her look could totally be found in any fashion magazine.
Monica Bellucci
So why is it that when it comes to true accuracy in historical depictions, film makers invest heavily in set design, costume, and in recreating technologies of the time, but fall short when it comes to cosmetics? I personally attributed this to two reasons: 1.) The actual make-up trends of the time when the movie takes place are so radically different from what is considered attractive by the contemporary culture that using those ancient trends would make the characters hard for the audience to relate to. 2.) The director cherry-picks accuracy for the sake of his/her vision of the film. Both of these reasons are forgivable, since in the end, films are a subjective work of art. Filmmakers should have free reign to express their story as they see fit.
If you have a purist mentality on accuracy, or if you appreciate when the make-up team does their research and shows off some skill, this can be a little frustrating. For those of us who have an interest in history and find it fascinating, I’m dedicating my next blog to period piece movies with legit make-up, hair, and wardrobe. Stay tuned!!!
Diva Del Mar
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A month ago, Neill Blomkamp (District 9, Elysium) surprised everyone when he posted concept art for an Alien movie that he wanted to make. The art seemed to indicate that the director was not only interested in making an Alien sequel, but a film that took place after the events of Aliens starring Sigourney Weaver as an older Ellen Ripley and Michael Biehn as Dwayne Hicks. In an interview with Uproxx, Blomkamp revealed that he was excited about possibly directing the film, and that 20th Century Fox wants him to make the movie using his ideas.
According to Blomkamp, the Alien concept art was created during the post-production period for Chappie, his latest science-fiction film about a naïve robot gaining self-awareness. After working with Sigourney Weaver, who co-stars in Chappie, Blomkamp was inspired to create an Alien sequel that featured an older and battle hardened Ripley.
“Basically, what happened was, when Chappie got heavily into post-production, I could take my foot off the gas a bit. I was thinking about what I wanted to do next and I’ve been wanting to make an Alien film for like years and years.”
Though Blomkamp states that Fox is interested in a possible Alien sequel, the reason the projects has yet to movie forward is mostly because of him and his inability to “mentally” agree to make it.
“Me. I’m the problem. Fox, they would make it. Like, tomorrow. They would make it.”
So, once Blomkamp finally agrees with himself to make it, his next picture might finally redeem the Alien franchise after decades of terrible movies. As his impressive concept art indicates, his Alien film hints at a movie that seems to ignore all of the events that took place after James Cameron’s Aliens. Corporal Hicks is still alive, though acid scarred and blind in one eye after his confrontation with one of the many deadly creatures on LV-426. Ripley herself is noticeably older; though this could possibly be explained away by saying her hyper-sleep pod was damaged. It’s possible that the machine was probably unable to appropriately keep her in stasis, thus she aged naturally during the Sulaco’s return to Earth.
While the images hint at possible storylines, returning characters and plot explanations, nothing is currently set in stone. Will these events actually take place after Aliens or is this just Blomkamp’s ultimate dream to fix the Alien franchise? Nothing is known at this point, even with Blomkamp saying Fox is interested in his ideas. At the end of the day, it’s Fox who will be making the final decisions with their beloved property.
In any case, Fox is still continuing the Alien franchise with Ridley Scott’s Prometheus 2, which is set to hit theatres March 4, 2016.
Chris, Martin and Beau are joined this week by Joe Parsons as they detail the best films and tv shows of 2014, some of the worst, and a debate about the relative merits of Inherent Vice. And that’s far from all. This epic-length episode has Joe looking into his crystal ball to predict the entire plot of Avengers: Age of Ultron and the Marvel Cinematic Universe afterwards, and much more.
Now how can you not want to listen to this awesomeness? Only caveat is, The Original Gentlemen, guaranteed now to be bi-weekly, is part of the subscriber package for Brown Coats. If you are already at the Brown Coat level or above you can go to the forums and into the Subscriber Lounge to listen to it.
If not, please consider becoming a subscriber to OneOfUs.net which not only gets you The Original Gentlemen, but also exclusive commentaries, The Breakfast Pub and much more! And more to come! Please support ALL the shows you love on oneofus.net by becoming a subscriber TODAY!! Check out the episode right here.
Grab that copy of The Daily Bugle and get ready to see pictures of your favorite web slinging hero all over the place today because Spider-Man is officially heading into the fold of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. After a series of long running talks about potentially allowing the Disney owned Marvel Cinematic Universe to place the Sony Pictures owned property of Spider-Man in their sprawling cast of characters, Marvel has officially announced that a deal has been struck. The following is from the official press release.
Under the deal, the new Spider-Man will first appear in a Marvel film from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe (MCU). Sony Pictures will thereafter release the next installment of its $4 billion Spider-Man franchise, on July 28, 2017, in a film that will be co-produced by Kevin Feige and his expert team at Marvel and Amy Pascal, who oversaw the franchise launch for the studio 13 years ago. Together, they will collaborate on a new creative direction for the web slinger. Sony Pictures will continue to finance, distribute, own and have final creative control of the Spider-Man films.
Marvel and Sony Pictures are also exploring opportunities to integrate characters from the MCU into future Spider-Man films.
So… this shakes things up. Well, it literally has shaken things up already. As a result of the new Spidey film coming on July 28, 2017, Thor: Ragnarok (originally slated for that date) will come out on November 3, 2017. Furthermore, all of the non-Avengers: Infinity War films that follow will be moving their release dates, meaning we’ll now get Black Panther on July 6, 2018, Captain Marvel on November 2, 2018 and Inhumans on July 12, 2019.
Now the question is, what will the Marvel Cinematic Universe do to bring Spider-Man into their world? I, for one, can see a lot of possibilities. For one thing, most of the heroes we’re aware of in the MCU don’t have secret identities. People know Tony Stark is Iron Man, Steve Rodgers is Captain America and Thor is… well, Thor I guess. It’ll be nice to see Spider-Man as a more down to earth superhero coming into the larger scheme of that universe, especially in the wake of the events in New York. Spider-Man potentially coming in as a youthful bright eyed boy who has recently gained powers and feels lost will look up to the heroes that saved his town and surely want to emulate their actions. That idea could add more layers to the adaptation of the Marvel Comics universe Kevin Feige and his buddies have been formulating, seeing the effects of these heroes on a more cultural level that was hinted at in Iron Man 2 and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
As to which Spider-Man we’ll see, that’s still all up for debate. Whether or not Marvel & Sony will come to a choice as to either the traditional Peter Parker or take a risk with an adaptation of the multi-racial Ultimate Universe Spider-Man Miles Morales hasn’t been confirmed. Hell, they haven’t even confirmed if this new Spider-Man film will be yet another iteration of the origin story or any other bad decisions Sony may have and have final say over (like the potential retooling of their planned Sinister Six film), which I doubt most people would want at this point following the still fresh & lingering wounds of The Amazing Spider-Man reboot series. Still, given the chatter that was revealed during the Sony leak about the studio wanting to get away from the “general blah-ness of the films produce“, I wouldn’t be surprised if Amy Pascal and the rest of Sony sat down and let the quality hit-makers at Marvel take the reigns in order to save their fledgling property, which could include daring new experiments like Miles Morales or a far more limited origin story for Peter. So many questions, so much potential… well, except for Andrew Garfield.
“First Zuckerberg, now this.”
What about the rest of you? Is Spider-Man teaming up with The Avengers a welcome addition or a bit too much? What Spider-Man should they go with and who should play the masked web slinger? Post your thoughts in the comments below!
We continue our journey through Blaxploitation as we look at the influence it’s had on modern filmmakers like Mario Van Peebles, John Singleton, Quentin Tarantino and others.
The Quentin Tarantino interview portions were taken from an interview found on YouTube. Watch the full, uncut interview here:
Movies discussed: Baadasssss!, Posse, Hoodlum, Panther, Boyz N The Hood, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Django Unchained, Bones
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Seeing that it is currently the winter dumping ground for new movies, most of my cinematic intake consists of Oscar nominees in order to get ready for the awards in February. However, I do have to admit, that when my mind can no longer take the high-brow, thought-provoking, and emotional movies that usually serve as award bait, I turn to a few of my favorite movies. Now, these are not my favorite movies that I usually admit to. These are the ones I keep reserved for personal viewing only, and refuse to watch with others, even my husband, in case of the event that they start pointing out what total garbage is actually on screen. They also happen to be some of the ones that I can recite from memory and make me the most happy, even on the coldest and most miserable winter days.
Blue Crush tops this list, especially in January. I have wonderful memories of my college roommates and I watching this movie while doing sit-ups in our dorm room because it was too frigid outside to walk to the gym. Kate Bosworth’s rocking body served as great motivation, and the beach scenes gave us warm thoughts of the spring break that was coming in a few months. I still watch Blue Crush at least once a winter to pretend I’m on a sunny Hawaiian island, and the soundtrack has had a solid place on my running playlist ever since there was such thing as an iPod. I am well-aware that the acting, especially by those who are surfers by profession and not actors, is pretty terrible, and the premise is worn out and not original in the least, but Blue Crush holds a special place in my heart regardless.
Taking second on the list is another girly movie. It’s no secret that I love Cinderella in all it’s forms, and Ever After is one of those, although with a twist. The movie itself isn’t that embarrassing. It won a few minor awards, got decent reviews, contains a well-known cast. What’s embarrassing is how often I’ve watched it, and how well I can recite it. In fact, it’s one of the few movies that I own both on VHS and DVD, which shows my dedication to this film.
Speaking of dedication to films I own on multiple formats, Center Stage also falls into this category. Again, another movie with terrible acting by side characters who are in the film because they are dancers, not actors. This seems to be a pattern of mine. That said, while their line delivery isn’t up to par, their dancing is phenomenal. There have been times I haven’t had time to watch the whole film, so I’ll just fast-forward to my favorite dance scenes and enjoy.
To finish up this list, I chose not one movie, but a whole genre: the really bad plot/acting action movies where a lot of shit blows up i.e. The Expendables, any Die Hard movie, Fast and the Furious. When it comes to comfort movies, nothing warms the heart more than massive explosions and gunshot sounds.
So fess up…what bad movie do you have a love affair with?
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