Blumhouse Productions And the State of Low Budget Horror

A couple weeks ago, I caught the first official trailer for The Purge: Anarchy and it led me to ask: was The Purge so badly received that the budget for the sequel was cut even lower? Blumhouse’s high concept home invasion flick was kind of a hit last year. Granted, it was the exact opposite of a hit in the critical circle. Still, for all the money it raked in ($89+ million foreign and domestic) on such a tiny budget ($3 million reportedly), it looks like the studio gave filmmaker James DeMonaco a marginally bigger allowance to play with for the sequel.

I got to thinking about all the films Blumhouse has been helping to put out as of late, along with the slew of really awesome low-budget efforts that reach beyond their limitations to deliver some truly memorable experiences. The trailer for The Purge: Anarchy might take place outside of a dark house this time, but if the trailer is any indication, not much has changed and it does not inspire the hope of low-budget cinema I’ve seen in recent years. The film still looks as if it’s nothing more than a cat-and-mouse chase through dark set pieces, with shots here and there of small rioting gangs. A sequel for a film with a premise like The Purge I was hoping for something really special- something off the wall crazy. Instead it looks like the formula we will get every year from these films (providing they continue to make money) is a new couple/family fighting small roving gangs that chase them throughout the movie only to have a final confrontation right as the annual Purge comes to an end. That’s what the sequel looks like to me, except with direct-to-video production values.

 

I could be wrong and the film will be a huge improvement over the first, which I didn’t mind all that much, despite its problems. I just don’t see anything that brings to this premise anything fresh and new. Though, to be frank, when I step back and compare this trailer for The Purge: Anarchy or even the first film to recent low budget horror over the last few years, The Purge just does not stack up.

So what’s my point? Blumhouse is successful, but I’m not seeing any risk. Even if a movie that Blumhouse puts out is more enjoyable than most Hollywood horror flicks, it’s generally not very original and tends to come with an overall mixed reaction from audiences. We’re talking about films like Dark Skies, every Paranormal Activity movie, Insidious: Chapter 2, The Lords of Salem, Sinister and a ton of films waiting for release. Not a one of those previously mentioned films received overwhelming praise and you’ll notice that most are sequesl, suggesting that Blumhouse’s model lacks originality.

The sad thing about Blumhouse cornering the market on low budget horror is that there are some gems out there that don’t get a release that they deserve and most people are forced to watch them on their computer screens or God forbid…their tablets or cell phones. I like the On Demand model, simply because I’m able to lay my eyes on a movie I’ve been waiting for quicker than I would if I had to wait for the insanely limited theatrical run (which rarely makes it my way) or the eventual DVD release. Make no mistake, these films sometimes have an equally mixed reaction, but they take more chances than your typical Blumhouse release. The films I had in mind here are releases like V/H/S and V/H/S/2, Saw, Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil and rather you agree with me or not…Red State.

 tucketanddalewithleg

The only reason I kind of wanted to bring up Red State is to mention Kevin Smith’s latest low budget effort awaiting release, Tusk. Tusk is a film with a reported budget of $2 million and is quite literally a premise no person in their right mind would not do a double take on. A man searching for a roommate that is willing to dress as a walrus, but really wants a roommate to actually transform into a walrus. This has potential to be one of the worst ideas to ever be greenlit and really aside from the fact that this does not seem to have a sexual slant, Human Centipede has already trounced this idea to death. I’ll give Smith credit where credit is due though…it’s ballsy.

What I love about low budget horror is that it forces filmmakers to get creative. Even if their premise isn’t all that creative, the journey to making a full length feature requires some inginuity – which brings me to one of the most ultra low budget films in recent memory, The Battery. There are few things in horror movies as of late less original than a zombie flick which is exactly what The Battery is, except on a budget of $6,000 dollars. I saw this film several months ago and have never spoken of it until now. Simply because I don’t like it as much as I’ve seen people gush over online, but I cannot dare speak of it without giving props to Jeremy Gardner for putting this film together on such a shoestring budget. It’s a very DIY type of film and it’s all about the characters and there are some really great moments, but it still left a little to be desired in the end- I do recommend giving it a shot though simply because of it’s low budget spirit.

You needn’t wait for The Purge: Anarchy to drop at your local theater to see awesome low budget horror as we speak. Sure all those previously mentioned flicks- with the exception of Tusk– are available in some capacity right now, but if you’re a Comcast, Time Warner Cable, Brighthouse or Cox cable subscriber you can get on and watch a little film called Cheap Thrills right now. Again, a film being softly released in an even lesser VOD platform than most and on March 21st it will see a very small theatrical release; this is the type of film I want to see more of in theaters. Cheap Thrills for me was a nearly flawless film and a debut film to boot from E.L. Katz. Okay, it’s not fully lodged in the horror genre, but there’s enough sick, twisted and horrific shenanigans to include it and point you in its direction.

So, what are some of your favorite recent low budget horror flicks? Have you seen Cheap Thrills? What do you think of the trailer for The Purge: Anarchy? What are your thoughts on the VOD release model? Sound off below!

My Top 5 ‘Ninja Sex Party’ Songs

I’m a sucker for musical comedy, especially short, goofy, gag songs. Enter Ninja Sex Party (NSP for short), the duo of Danny Sexbang (Dan Avidan) and Ninja Brian (Brian Wecht). Aside from NSP, Wecht is a physics professor and many people may recognize Dan  from his work on the “let’s play” YouTube channel Game Grumps with Egoraptor (Arin Hanson). NSP has even teamed up with Egoraptor to form the side group Starbomb, which makes funny songs about video games.

Screw all that other jazz though, we’re here for Ninja Sex Party proper and what they do best, rock. Instead of trying to explain NSP, I think I’ll let Danny and Brian explain it themselves:

 

Well, that does pretty much sum them up, on to the countdown!

 

5. Best Friends Forever

 

Brian just can’t stop a’murderin’. it is interesting to note that Ninja Brian seems happy with the Mario and Luigi comparison in the video seeing as he is Mario and Mario is looked upon as the dominant character. Once the duo is seen as Ash and Pikachu, a relationship where Ash (Danny)  is clearly in charge, does Brian really begin to seethe. I also like how Danny isn’t really upset that Brian is a murderer, only that he thinks that Brian is killing too much and might kill him. It’s an uplifting buddy song about two horrible people, which is part of the song’s overall charm.

 

4. The Decision

 

One of NSP‘s earliest and simplest songs, and that is what makes it work so well. I love how they start off on equal footing in pursuit of this woman, but as the song goes on Danny Sexbang can’t help but less and less subtly promote himself at Brian’s expense. stretch the joke for all it is worth, milking every bit of comedy they can out of it, and then the song cleverly stops. Sometimes it is how masterfully you do the simple things that shows your true mastery.

 

3. If We Were Gay

 

This song in terms of format is very similar to The Decision as Danny and Ninja Brian start off on equal footing but Danny’s enthusiasm and shameless self promotion once again have him pushing Brain too far with disastrous results. Some might consider this song homophobic, but I am of the mind that being able to make this song and video and push it as far as they did is proof as to where Dan and Brian’s hearts truly lie. Danny’s enthusiasm in this is just infectious and it makes for a great watch/listen.

 

2. Unicorn Wizard

 

We already established I like comedy songs, but I also dig hero anthems, and that is what this is. This one would make the top of my list just for Ninja Brian as “Princess Handjob,” but the whole song is dramatic and yet hilarious. They really pushed their imaginations on this one and I think it shows in every second of this.

 

1. Dinosaur Laser Fight

 

It’s hard to argue with a song that declares “It’s fucking science.” This is probably NSP‘s most well known song, which is kind of odd as while it does have Danny’s usual bit of  going into a tale that couldn’t possibly be true, this time it isn’t to impress or trick some woman into bed. Instead it is to “educate” a group of kids after their teacher has gone “missing”. What makes the song for me other than the fact they end the song joyously yelling out “FUCK!” (it gets me every time) is just how much I wish this was real history. It’s every boyhood fantasy I ever had mashed into one concentrated song of awesome.

Alright folks, now I want to hear from you. In the comments let me know what are your favorite 0Ninja Sex Party songs? Also, if you have a musical comedy group you think people should check out make sure to give them a shout out as well. Let’s celebrate music and laughter!

You decide who makes the ITL Sword-And-Sandal Movie Tournament?

Ahoy there, sports nerds!

As you know, or maybe you don’t know (in which case “this just in”), our weekly geek sportscast Inside the Locker has been engaging in a series of movie elimination tournaments. More specifically, I’m referring to The Inside the Locker Totally Accurate, Desperately Necessary Movie Elimination Tournaments!!!

 

And now that March is actually upon us, this strange series of March Madness style movie gauntlets is only going to get more intense! INTENSE!

This time around, we are settling once and for all (for this week), which is the very best sword-and-sandal movie. Once again, as with last week’s Die Hard Rip-off Tournament, the collective heads of knuckle that comprise our show hosts have settled on the Sweet 16 of this sweaty, blade-swinging, dude-bulging film subgenre and will not leave Monster Dome until only one is left standing.

Well, more accurately, they have settled on the Sweet 15, leaving the sixteenth seed vacant. That’s where you come in! Vote below on which hopeful genre upstart makes its way into the tournament. Think of it as the NIT of the ITLTADNMET. We really need a shorter name for this.

Cast your votes quick! The tournament is nigh!

Alexander Centurion Cleopatra The Scorpion King
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Who Makes The Cut?
 
 
 
 
  
pollcode.com free polls 

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The Strip Club: 3/2/2014

It’s Sunday, which means it’s time for another visit to The Strip Club. No, not the one where you throw your money in the air and try to ignore the weird smells. This Strip Club is our new weekly feature in which we post comic strips submitted by you, our faithful readers. Take a look at this week’s selections and enjoy the first day of the week the old-fashioned way.

 

IMG_28039383765168

by Michael-Orian Bockus

 

newnumberone

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We’d love for you to start submitting comics for our Sunday “Strip Club” feature. If you’re interested, please contact us at oneofusnet@gmail.com.

The 30 Dozen: ‘Purple Rain’

Welcome to The 30 Dozen, a monthly exploration of the films that, like me, turn thirty this year. These are films that have been residing on my must-see list for ages, and those which I’m only now crossing off as together we each approach our third decade on this planet. As I examine one of these movies per month, I hope to glean from each some perspective on my approach of the big 3-0. 

 

 

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome The Revolution.

How I managed to exist this long without seeing Purple Rain is beyond my comprehension. If I fancy myself a connoisseur of anything (and I usually don’t refer to myself as a connoisseur because connoisseur is hard to spell), it would be cult movies and 80s music. Seriously, name an 80s one-hit-wonder, and I’ll give you the song. Ask me which was Corman’s most expensive film or the alternate title of Fulci’s City of the Living Dead, and you’ll have that information faster than you can wonder why you were seeking it in the first place. So how did the perfect combination of two of my favorite things go unseen by these eyes for so long?

Meanwhile, my ears had been savoring Purple Rain for as long as I can remember. I’ve always loved Prince’s music, and the soundtrack album for this film is pure magic. My affinity for this album has only intensified over the last few years with the infusion of karaoke into my life. Something about belting (read: butchering) his squealing verse interludes gives one an appreciation for the mauve-clad minstrel.

And now, the big moment. Pressing play.

…what is…

…did he just…why are they…

…why would any woman in the world go in for…

…ok, no way in hell is he about to…oh damn.

(Credits)

(Head-Scratching)

I guess what I was expecting was a 111-minute concert video. Surely, a narrative would be attempted, and surely Prince’s attempts at genuine performance would be the source of the movie’s renowned cult status. Right? Oh, so so wrong. Purple Rain is not a flimsy promotional mouthpiece for its star, but instead a deeply troubling psychological nightmare. If there is a theme to be mined from this carousel of sound and fury, it’s essentially a movie about how the male gender is a horrid, despicable race.

Prince stars as “The Kid,” who is equal parts raging rocker and loathsome Lothario. His story arc is a short trip from marginal professional success (being the number one headliner in a sleezy Minnesota rock club) to professional success AND a gorgeous girlfriend/emotional hostage. This is the classic boy-meets-girl, boy-abuses-girl, girl-can’t-seem-to-leave-abusive-boy tale. Prince’s courtship rituals are the rancid stuff of douche lore. And yet for each of his calculated assaults on gender equality, the stunningly beautiful Apollonia not only opts for reconciliation, but often assumes blame for his transgressions.

Take for example, the “purification scene.”

The Kid, enamored of Apollonia, sees her at a mall and, as most blue-blooded boys would do, steals a piece of her jewelry and then basically abducts her as she tries to retrieve it. Sounds like a winning first date, right? Ooooooh boy just you wait. He then takes her out to a lake (one that is decidedly NOT Lake Minnetonka) and demands that she “purify” herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. In a move that would give Freud cause to face-palm, she complies; stripping almost nude and leaping into the frigid waters. Prince then waits until she returns shivering to shore to tell her that they are not standing aside Lake Minnetonka.

Prince   Apollonia

How does he follow up this inexplicable prank? He jumps on his bike and takes off; rides away as she desperately re-clothes herself. Sure he comes back, but his return is met with her being apologetically sheepish for how ridiculous she must look being all wet. You know from the lake…into which he tricked her into jumping. THIS. IS. OUR. HERO.

And that is the start of their ongoing relationship in the movie. The word “relationship” takes on rather filthy and maladjusted connotation when viewed through this Purple lens. Even something as intimate and significant as coupling (you know, sexy times) becomes inextricably entangled in horrific manipulation. You see, Prince’s character has recordings of former girlfriends crying, that he then audio-reverses and uses as mood-setting sexy time music for his latest conquests. I can not imagine a more unhealthy relationship that doesn’t end in a bathtub full of lye and a scramble to establish an alibi.

Despite the aforementioned sexual head-gamesmanship, all hope did not seem lost for Apollonia. At one point, she makes a clean break from Prince and, as a result, actually begins to make great strides in her own musical career. Unfortunately it is here in our story of course, that Prince, in his half-pint possessive fury, rides up on his motorcycle and demands her to climb aboard. She does so immediately and, like some sociopathic knight in violet armor, Prince attempts to “rescue” her from…the incalculably better life she is now leading without him.

It was probably just my foolishly optimistic naivete that allowed for the believe of a happy ending for Apollonia (i.e. her Prince-ectomy).  Her return to the suffocating, crushed-velvet-clad arms of The Kid were well foreshadowed during a scene in which, after having escaped Prince, she is driven out of a club in tears of jealous despair by his song about intense sexual congress WITH A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T EXIST!

Further evidence of the film’s sado-gleeful rejection of feminism are casually strewn about the mise en scene like all those Gothic candle-holders. Prince forces a female accompanying guitarist to play while on her knees before him in one of the most brow-beating intersections of sex and rock-n-roll this side of Tommy Lee’s vacation videos. Oh Oh Oh! And the puppet! At one point, Prince uses a puppet, and shockingly masterful ventriloquy, to thoroughly insult and marginalize his female band members. So he’s a disassociative personality disorder whose alter egos are ALSO MISOGYNISTS!

Prince Puppet

You also gotta love pick-up lines like this spoken by Morris Day…

“Your lips would make a lollipop too happy”
“In my bedroom…I have a brass…water bed”

I don’t want to say that Morris Day is the villain of the film, because that would intimate that a hero exists.

The levels of male-centric id indulgence in this film are so absurd that it just HAS to be satire, or reproachful commentary at the very least. One little problem: it is furstratingly unclear what it is Purple Rain might be satirizing. All that seems to matter is Prince’s ineffable aura of cool and his litany of phenomenal songs.

At first, sitting in a darkened room as the last credit scrolled into oblivion, I was stymied as to what this movie could possibly have to offer in the way of a perspective on my impending thirtieth birthday. What could I take away from this staggeringly bizarre rockstar vehicle? And then it hit me, Purple Rain terrifyingly adeptly sums up my relationship with film. Specifically, it’s a reflection of the relationship between my passion for film, and my career.

I am not Prince, that much was made evident by my lack of guitar chops and my inability to wedge myself into pants that are so tight as to be legally recognized as sausage casing by the FDA. But more to the point, I’m not Prince in this metaphor…I’m Apollonia. I’m desperately, dangerously in love with the medium of film (which will be the Prince antecedent until this figurative fever dream has ended). I love movies, I will never not love being a journo-pundit, but the sleep-deprivation, the logistical and technical irritants, and the mountains of stress of running a site and, before that, writing for several others have made my specific relationship with my favorite medium rather abusive. For all the time, energy, and money that it costs me to review/discuss film for a living, I can’t seem to bring myself to stay away.

StateoftheSteak Profile PicObviously this is not a perfect metaphor. For one thing, I would like to think my head is not so securely aloft inside my own colon as to think that my demanding professional schedule is AT ALL equal to actually suffering domestic and/or psychological abuse. However, seeing this film for the first time at this point in my life did indeed serve as a bitter reminder that at some point, and probably not one that resides in the distant future, something in my psychological wiring will have to change in order to maintain a healthy love affair with movies.

As it stands, no matter how much mental and physical strain is levied by my passion and my career, and no matter how often I tell myself I want to stop and do something else, film (like Prince) will always be able to spin a mesmerizing sensory web to keep me hopelessly ensnared. It’s a situation mimetic of the overall spectacle of this film. For all its cheesiness (at best) and unsettling views on sexual politics (at every turn), nothing else matters when the first chords of “When Doves Cry” strike up.

As monumental a cock as the lilliputian protagonist proves to be, Prince’s music remains transcendent. That, when all is said and done, appears to be the point of Purple Rain. Prince is the ruler of all creation and we are powerless to resist the siren shriek of his guitar. I feel that there is actually slight homophone-related confusion here. The purple reign of this diminutive demigod shall not be undone by matters as trifling as his character defects.

Go Geaux Anime!: ‘Bleach’

Elliott, from Inside the Locker and Highly Suspect Reviews here, welcoming you to “Go Geaux Anime!”, OneOfUs.Net’s new Japanese anime blog. Before starting, I wanted to answer one fundamental question for you, the reader:

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Why does this blog exist?

Love. Mal said it best:

 Serenity

“Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘Verse, but you take a boat in the air
that you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds.”

Damn right.

 I have enjoyed animation for as long as I can remember. Some of my favorite memories are waking up early to watch Saturday Morning Cartoons, and watching them right until Soul Train came on.

Soul Train
For an entire generation of kids, this was the HARBINGER of Boredom

 Eventually, my love of animation developed into an obsession with Japanese animation otherwise known as anime. When I love something I want to let others know about it. To those who aren’t already anime fans I aim to show you how great it can be. I want to provide you a guide through the medium,  and hope you, in turn, find something you end up really enjoying.

To those who are already fans I will point out what is worth your time,show you some new favorites, and remind you of some forgotten classics.

I sincerely hope you enjoy “Go Geaux Anime! ” and end up discovering a new favorite show or movie you wouldn’t have otherwise found.  I hope you feel like I do right now!

Go Geaux Anime!  #1:

Frequently, there are shows with an interesting premise but for one reason or another you don’t give a shot, whether it has an intimidating number of episodes, a bad reputation, or it just seems silly. This leads to it being skipped over, and you missing out on what could be a very rewarding viewing experience. To that I say:

Objection
I wish this happened in real life

 

Lets dive right in!

QUESTION: Should you give Bleach a shot?
ANSWER: Yes, BUT make sure to avoid most of the filler, and if you are not into it after the first and third seasons bail out.

Plot and Origin

Bleach is based off of a Manga of the same name, written and illustrated by Tite Kubo. It follows the story of Ichigo Kurosaki, a seemingly regular teenager as he is drawn into the world of the soul reapers, also known as Shinigami. As the story progresses, the series unfolds an ever evolving mystery surrounding Ichigo Kurosaki as he battles villains and discovers more about his powers, himself, and the world, in which he now finds himself.


Reasons To Dive In:

A Rich Mythos

Bleach has an extensive and well-developed underlying mythos. It does an excellent job of making the world feel like a real and exciting place. For example:

 –Zanpaktou: Each Shinigami has a unique weapon called a Zanpaktou, which is based off of each person’s soul and can have a variety of different powers. For the most part these powers match up very well with the characterization of the different Shinigamis.

–Kido: Think of it like a supernatural martial art. There are several different types, but my favorite(s) are those based on specific incantations. One such example is Hado 91:Senju Koten Taiho.

Urahara

I promise you this is not a spell to summon a rave.

–Hadou #91’s incantation: Limit of the thousands hands, respectful hands, unable to touch the darkness. Shooting hands unable to reflect the blue sky. The road that basks in light, the wind that ignited the embers, time that gathers when both are together, there is no need to be hesitant, obey my orders. Light bullets, eight bodies, nine items, book of heaven, diseased treasure, great wheel, grey fortress tower. Aim far away, scatter brightly and cleanly when fired”

 

The amount of thought that goes into crafting these different kidos is reminiscent of the amount of world building present in the Lord of the Rings series.

 

A Large and Well Conceived Supporting Cast:

 Each of Bleach’s supporting cast are given an immense amount of back story and development in their own right. It is somewhat akin to Orange Is the New Black. No I am not drunk. While the show definitely has a main character, we learn the backstories of most of the supporting characters as well.

Bleach2
Now, this is a story all about how

Ichigo’s life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became a warrior in a land out of thin air

 

Entire episodes are spent on seemingly minor characters; telling you where they come from and their principal motivations. This may seem basic but with the amount of other characters this series boasts, it is indeed an impressive achievement. With a fully-developed supporting cast of  characters each viewer will inevitably find his or her favorite and be excited when their character is featured.

 

An Ongoing Mystery

Throughout the entire series, there is a sense that you are not hearing the entire story; that essential parts are being withheld, not only from you the viewer, but the main characters as well. I will not say what it is here because:

spoilers

and duh.

 

But I will say the twists and explanations are deeply satisfying and make it worthwhile to re-watch certain key episodes and arcs.

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Potential Drawbacks

 Mediocre Animation Quality

 While Bleach is by no means ugly, it is not breaking any new  ground, visually. Due to the production schedule a lot of traditional shortcuts were taken (static backgrounds, “anime mouth” (From time to time, mouths of characters do not sync up with their speech), etc.) and it shows. It does not have the production quality of a Pixar movie, and is instead more on the level of a better than average Cartoon Network show.

Common and Embarrassing Anime Tropes

Bleach  contains some of the more common and embarrassing anime tropes. These are the types of things that make exposing the general public to anime difficult. For instance Bleach woefully features:

 –Fan Service

According to Wikipedia, Fan Service  is: A term originating from anime and manga fandom for material in a series which is intentionally added to please the audience. It is about “servicing” the fan – giving the fans “exactly what they want”. Fan service usually refers to “gratuitous titillation”, but can also refer to intertextual references to other series.

Fan service in Bleach takes the form of female characters wearing overly revealing outfits for no other reason than to draw in viewers. For example there is the character of Matsumoto, a vice captain and ostensibly one of the most powerful characters in Bleach’s universe. She is put in outfits like this on a regular basis:

boob
No “augmentation” was done to this image.

Now, while Bleach has no where near the level of fan service as Highschool of the Dead, it is still something you should be aware of before you start watching.

Stocking
This is one of the milder forms of fanservice present in High School of the Dead

Now I am not a prude, far from it, but I am an adult. The problem with fan service is that not only does it objectify women, which of course is bad,  it makes it harder for the average fan to take the show seriously. It makes it harder for me to stay invested in the show, until it gets back to the story.

–Unrequited and Unaddressed Romance (spoilers!)

 Ichigo has a childhood friend , Orihimie, with whom he is very close. Throughout the series it is hinted at that there may be mutual romantic interest, but it is never explored. I don’t think Bleach should have been a romance series , but it should been explored. By not addressing it, it left me and a lot of viewers hanging. Imagine if on The Office the whole Jim and Pam storyline was never addressed, but constantly hinted at. That is what we have here.

Office

–By the Power of Grayskull!

 To access the power of their zanpakutou, each shinigami, normally utters a certain phrase and strikes a certain pose. This occurring a few times is fine and actually quite enjoyable, but it starts getting laborious the 20th time. You are left wondering, like during Power Rangers, why their opponent  doesn’t just attack while they are powering up. These power-ups only take about 10 seconds on average so they are not the long sessions that populate DBZ, but there are a bunch of them.

DBZ
Next time: Eat. More. Fiber.

 

Again, these power-ups aren’t all bad, but they are just done so much that they make the overall product seem silly at times.

Too Much Filler

Bleach has some engaging and tight story arcs, it also has a lot of episodes which are essentially meaningless to the plot.

 Instead of moving the main story line along, the filler , generally, consisted of bad to mediocre side stories. So instead of getting even more great content, the viewers were left with subpar stories to hold us over until we could get back to the main narrative that we really wanted more of.

The good news for new viewers is that you can look at my watching guide below and avoid most if not all of the filler! Lucky You!

Lucky You
No, that was not a reference to this “movie”.


Where to Watch:

 Hulu  – Free with ads (all 366 episodes) – http://www.hulu.com/bleach

 CrunchyRoll – No ads  6.95 a month – http://www.crunchyroll.com/bleach Episodes 266 and on are free with ads

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Watching Guide:

viewing


Litmus Test – A few episodes you can watch to try it out.

Episodes 1-5;8;38-39;56-57 (Note there are spoilers in episodes 38-39 and 56-57)

A Movable Feast – What to Watch to Make Sure You Will Enjoy it

 Bleach Season 1: Agent of Shinigami Arc – Episodes 1-20

Bleach Season 3: Soul Society: The Rescue – Episodes 42-63

Hitting on All Cylinders –  What to Watch once you know you like it.

Bleach Season 2: Sneak Entry Arc – Episodes 21-41
Bleach Season 6: Arrancar: The Arrival Arc – Episodes 110-131
Bleach Season 7: Arrancar: The Hueco Mundo Sneak Entry arc Episodes 132- 151
Bleach Season 8: Arrancar: The Fierce Fight arc – Episodes 152-167
Bleach Season 10: Arrancar vs. Shinigami arc – Episodes 190-205
Bleach Season 11: The Past – Episodes 206-212
Bleach Season 12: Arrancar: Decisive Battle of Karakura arc – Episodes 213-229
Bleach Season 14: Arrancar: Downfall arc – End of the Main Storyline –  Episodes 266-316

Worth A Look –  What to watch once you finished the main storyline.

Bleach Season 16:Lost Agent Arc: Episodes 343-366

Bleach movies 1-3

Gotta Catch Em ALL – For those who want to see everything.

Go back and watch the seasons not listed above and read the associated manga. There are various video games based on Bleach you can check out as well.

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Well Done Fan Art and Cosplay

 http://quality-bleach.deviantart.com/art/The-baboon-king-185003045

 http://www.deviantart.com/art/Bleach-While-Stars-Shine-On-71486860

 http://wen-jr.deviantart.com/art/Bleach-Cat-and-Hornet-145334814

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments! Till then I’m out!

mout

The Gathering: The Oscars Live This Sunday!

Break out the tuxes, pop the champagne, and tighten up those goddamn acceptance speeches because it’s time for the Oscars! This year, you can watch The 596th annual Academy Awards with OneOfUs.Net.

As the Oscars are a very prestigious affair worthy of the utmost respect and dignified observance, HA, our live coverage will be a much smaller, more intimate affair than the previous gatherings.

 

A quartet of familiar site pundits will sit down to weigh in on the nominees in each of the major categories and discuss the 2013 year in film.

Of course, there will be crudeness, arguments, and more drinking than even what will undoubtedly be going on over at Michael Fassbender’s table.

Tune in to this post on Sunday, March 2nd at 7:20(ish)pm CST, and feel free to engage our commentators in the live chat. And the award for most McConaughey impersonations during an Oscar live-cast goes to…likely OneOfUs.

Ash & Fern: The Glitz! The Glamour!

…or how Ash and Fern watched Oscar movies for 10 hours in sweatpants.

If you recall, one of my new year’s resolutions this year was to watch ALL of the Oscar Best Picture nominations. Well, I’m proud to report: I did it! After a lot of hard work and effort, I made my goal…ok, more like after a lot of sitting and eating popcorn, I made my goal, but it’s pretty much the same thing.

It all started the way it usually does. Fern and I caught a few of the main ones we really wanted to see like Her; I talked my husband into seeing the one he would enjoy like American Hustle; I caught a few on afternoons that I had to myself like Gravity and The Wolf of Wall Street.

Then comes the lull. It happens every year. I start off really well, seeing the front runners, even a few that don’t end up in the final race, and then I get busy at work. Life doesn’t allow for my usual intake of cinema, and I think there’s no way I can fit them all in. This year, however, a hero came into the picture. That hero’s name is AMC Theaters.  For those of you who don’t know, the past few years, AMC has had an event where they split all the best picture noms into two Saturdays and just have a marathon viewing session.  Unfortunately, last year, our schedule just didn’t allow for it, but this year Fern and I were lucky enough to be able to spend over 10 hours in a theater having our emotions thrown over 150 years of time and space while taking in four of the pictures we hadn’t yet seen.

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Best Theater isn’t an Oscar category, but it ought to be just for you, AMC.

It actually started out really well. Philomena was the first movie up, and we were both really pleasantly surprised. Judi Dench was wonderful and extremely funny throughout as the mother looking for her long lost son. Steve Coogan was refreshing as her pessimistic, cynical opposite. It was a heartwarming picture without being too saccharine. There was just enough teeth and edge to it, not that the rest of the day was going to lack any of that.

Enter the emotional roller coaster part 1: Dallas Buyers Club. Oh, Jared Leto. Oh, oh, oh…Jared Leto. Don’t get me wrong. Matthew McConaughey was great and definitely earned his Oscar nom, but Jared Leto…wow.  His character pulled at our heartstrings throughout the entire show, but for me the best acting came when his transvestite character forced himself into a suit and tie to go beg a favor from his high-brow, business father.  Family tensions and drama at their highest, but the real dramatic tension came from an issue that is even more at the forefront of society now than it was then in the 80’s: America’s healthcare system.  I was only a child in the 80’s, so I can’t say that I speak to how the public viewed groups such as the FDA, but I know that as a whole, my generation is extremely suspicious of how things really get done in such a politically fueled bureaucracy such as it.  This movie does it no favors, showing exactly how low it would go when it came to giving out, and keeping in, approvals on products. A poignant piece, even 30 years removed.

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Speaking of being a few years removed, but still stinging today, the next movie that was sat through was the oh-so-overwhelming Wolf of Wall Street, because nothing says movie-watching excess like a 3 hour long movie about…well, excess. I had already watched it once, but since it was wedged in the middle of the day and Fern hadn’t seen it yet, I allowed myself another look at Scorsese’s production on how the other half (or less than 1%) lives.  And a production it is. I wouldn’t be surprised it someone had the idea to turn it into a big-band-number-filled musical complete with Leo tap dancing while he throws midgets and screws hookers.  Think of the choreography and visuals you could have with showgirls throwing cocaine and dollar bills up in the air. I’m telling you, Neil Patrick Harris would kill this role on stage! P.S. If anyone steals this idea, I want in on the team. I’ve got million dollar ideas, I’m telling you.

Finally, our day wrapped up with 12 Years a Slave. I must admit, it was everything the reviews promised it would be. Historical, violent, and full of great performances. The way Chiwetel Ejiofor simmered with fury throughout while still holding his gentlemanly composure was incredible to me, and Michael Fassbender was as disgusting as possible. However, I was most impressed by the smallest performances in this movie, especially the females.  Anyone who’s been following any press at all has heard about Lupita Nyong’o’s performance as Fassbender’s favored slave Patsey. It’s a quiet role, but that’s what makes it so gut-wrenching. Watching her eyes go dead as she is taken advantage of is almost like watching the horror take place in person. Her quiet, but insistant pleas for another slave to kill her might have been over done if any other actress were playing the role, but she does it in such a way that it’s not dramatic, but truthful.

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Besides Nyong’o, I was impressed by the other women who played the plantation owner’s wives.  Even in their frilly dresses and perfectly coiffed hair, you could see how well they portrayed these women who were hardened to this way of life and took their places in society seriously.  Even Liza J. Bennett, who plays the wife of an understanding master, pulls off her ignorance to the society below her with amazing mix of grace and apathy.  Finally, I think that Sarah Paulson has been overlooked for her role as a scorned wife.  The simmering hatred of the slave that her husband favors more than her is enough to make everyone in the theater worried about her wrath.  It also brings an interesting question of what public perception is of her character. Seeing that most reviews glazed over her, I can’t tell, but I would be interested to see if there are people who despise her because of her “racism” but would sympathize with her hatred if the other woman was of the same skin color.

At the end of the day, we were exhausted, my nails were all bitten down, my sugar intake was through the roof, and we slept well that night. I spent the next two nights renting Nebraska and Captain Phillips to round out the whole deal.  At the end of it all, I came to two conclusions: Oscar nominees are exhausting, and movie marathoning isn’t for the faint of heart.

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We were not as happy or clean as these people by the end of our marathon.

 

P.S. Here’s Ash and Fern’s picks for Oscar winners, and let us know if we win your pool! We will gladly accept any prizes!

 

Best Actor

Ash: This one is so close to me, it’s crazy. I think I’m going with my gut and picking Leo, not only for his performance in this movie, but it might be one of those “you really should have already won one” kind of things. My favorite performance however was Bruce Dern. If you’re from the heartland, you understand how well he hit the nail on the head.

 

Fern: Leo has had a special place in my heart since Titanic and I think he should have multiple Oscars at this point in his career. But while I will be THRILLED if he wins, I think Matthew McConaughey will take it this year. (And for the record, I think either of these guys would deliver an epic acceptance speech.)

 

Best Actress

Ash: Judi Dench, however I will admit I haven’t seen Blue Jasmine but I’m going to try to before Sunday. I’ll let you know if I change my mind for Cate, but I wasn’t as impressed with Amy Adams in American Hustle as everyone else was. I think she’s done much better work…like in Her.

 

Fern: Agreed. She nailed it, made Philomena a surprisingly enjoyable movie. She deserves the win.

 

Best Supporting Actor

Ash: Jerod Leto…duh

 

Fern: It’s unfortunate that Michael Fassbender’s super creepy performance had to come up against the perfection that was Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club. But here we are. This is the easiest pick of any category for me, and we will soon know what it’s like to live in a world where Jordan Catalano has an Oscar.

 

Best Supporting Actress

Ash:I really, really loved June Squibb, but I’m pretty sure Lupita Nyong’o has got this one.

 

Fern: We know the Academy loves some J-Law, but I think Lupita’s got this.

 

Best Director

Ash: Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity. This was a hard category this year, but Cuaron’s vision and execution were exquisite.

 

Fern: Ok here is where I have to explain something. I haven’t seen Gravity. I get nauseous during the little roller coaster video that tells you to turn off your phone at the theater. I couldn’t fathom sitting through hours of someone floating in space. Also it sounded really boring to me. Maybe it’s awesome, maybe it isn’t. I’ll never know. So with that out of the running, I’m going with Steve McQueen for 12 Years a Slave.

 

Best Animated Movie

Ash: Didn’t see them all, but Frozen was just so good! (I might be a bit biased with my Disney love, though!)

Fern: The only one of the nominees I saw was Despicable Me 2 and the only thing I remember from that experience is the trailer for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. “There’s a leek in the boat!” Soooo…I’ll defer to Ash’s pick on this one.

 

 

Best Original Screenplay

Ash: Her. Period.

 

Fern: YES.

 

Best Adapted Screenplay

Ash: I feel bad giving an opinion on this category when I’ve never read any of the things the movies are based on, but I’m going to have to sayPhilomena on this one. Such great dialogue and interaction between the characters makes the story so entertaining and endearing.

 

Fern: I’m in the same boat. Reading takes patience I just don’t have. And takes up time when I could be napping or watching TV. But I’ll go with 12 Years a Slave since I’m picking it for pretty much everything else.

 

Best Picture

Ash: I can’t explain how much I want Her to win this, but I know that’s not going to happen. My gut feeling says Gravity will pull it out over 12 Years a Slave due to the whole “movie experience.”

 

Fern: I’m with Ash. I want Her to win more than anything, but I think that’s a dream. I think the buzz for Gravity peaked a little too early and 12 Years a Slave will take home the big one on Sunday.

 

And anything technical, we say just give it to Gravity. Anything else–we really don’t know what we’re talking about.

 

 

One final thought from Fern: The two best movies I saw this year were Her and Inside Llewyn Davis. Clearly I will never understand the politics behind the Oscars. I am glad Her got the Best Picture nomination it more than deserved and hopefully will at least walk away with a statue for Best Original Screenplay. Unfortunately Inside Llewyn Davis was all but ignored with only a couple of nominations in more minor categories. I know Best Actor is an incredibly tough race this year, but you’ll never convince me that Oscar Isaac doesn’t deserve to be on that list. And there was room for one more Best Picture nominee. I’m just saying.

In Discussion: Should Actors Ever Work for Free?

After a myriad of Windows Vista related issues I am back with a brand new year of video content, including ‘In Conversation’ where I begin a conversation on a given topic and open the floor to you guys.

This week, a very prominent question in today’s artistic community. Should actors always be paid for work they do? Check out the video below.

Remember, the video is only the beginning of the conversation. Get involved down below.

 

Movie Review: ‘Non-Stop’

Sometimes movie titles succeed in not only describing the plot of said cinematic offering, but also in characterizing the career  of its headlining star at that particular moment in time. Such is certainly the case with the film Non-Stop, and its star, dynamo of kinetic box office energy that is Liam Neeson.

But would Neeson be able to bring his violent brand of magic to this Die-Hard-on-a-plane? Or would this vehicle face a catastrophic disaster before landing? The Unusual Suspects were willing to secure boarding passes and climb aboard Non-Stop to let you know whether the skies were friendly enough (or rather if they were unfriendly enough, it is Neeson after all).

Brian and J.C. give their thoughts on the film with Chris serving as their flight attendant. We called him our stewardess, but he got upset. Give a listen to the review, make sure your ears are in the upright, unblocked position.

Yeah, but dat Liam Neesons though!