After barely surviving last week’s remake battle royale, the supreme sports nerds of Inside the Locker gear up for their next Totally Accurate, Desperately Necessary Movie Elimination Tournament!
This time, for our March Madness style gauntlet, we’ve assembled the Sweet 16 of celebrated Die Hard Rip-offs. That’s right, we have come together to decide once and for all (this week) which of these films is the very best…and being not quite as good as Die Hard. The sixteenth seed went to the listener-voted NIT entrant The Rock. How far will that underdog advance?
First Showing’s Jeremy K. Kirk once again joins us, but this time decides to take on the mantle of competitor and hands his judge’s robes to Elliott. The results were incredibly interesting (like Virginia Commonwealth in the Final Four interesting) and produced our most raucous reactions to date. But who shall win it all?!
Yippee-Ki-Yay, master forgeries!
DIE Hard Rip-Off Elimination Tournament (29:58)
The starting bracket is pictured below. If you want to see the results (and spoil the fun before you even listen to the show…for shame), click on the image to reveal a filled-in version of the bracket.
Next Week’s Tournament: Sword-and-Sandal Films
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Robocop has quite the expanded universe. But there is one thing yet to be tapped into in their cinematic universes.
This year, after twenty seven years since the original ‘Robocop’ gets the big budget reboot treatment. Opinion has varied dramatically on the quality of the film but general consensus is its very much a distilled version of a classic that doesn’t quite get why the original is so beloved. Regardless of how this new film is, there is one story I have always wanted to see be told on the big screen; ‘Robocop VS Terminator’. Now usually I scoff at franchise combining movies. I scoffed at Batman VS Superman, I scoffed at Freddy VS Jason and I scoffed at Aliens VS Predator. However, for me the idea of Robocop and Terminator in the same film makes sense.
Originally, ‘Robocop VS Terminator’ was four issue comic book written by Frank Miller which was then adapted into several video games. The plot, was as follow;
The comic book series begins with Skynet sending three Terminators back in time to Detroit to protect a turmoiled RoboCop from a lone human soldier also sent back to destroy him.
Discovering that the technology used to build him is partly responsible for the future development of Skynet, RoboCop sets out to take down Skynet in the post-apocalyptic future single-handedly. Part of the story focuses on his mind, the only part left of him, hiding and moving throughout Skynet’s systems, fighting back as best he can.
RoboCop’s human consciousness (Alex Murphy) waits for decades in hiding deep within Skynet’s “consciousness”, avoiding detection as the slaughter of humanity takes place. He waits for the opportunity when Skynet’s attention will be focused on other matters with the war against the humans for him to make a move. A human assault allows Murphy to create a Terminator body that resembles his old form. He makes his escape and is nearly destroyed by human resistance fighters. He identifies himself as an ally and after gaining their confidence begins to plot to destroy Skynet with them.
As the planning continues, the humans devise a final assault on the central location where Skynet is being housed. They realize that they do not have the manpower to complete their assault. One of the humans asks RoboCop how he was able to build his body. Upon explaining how he accomplished this, the human asks him why he couldn’t do the same thing many times over. The group begins their assault on the Skynet compound and it is evident that they will not succeed when a buzzing is heard from behind them. The original RoboCop has succeeded in not only replicating, but improving himself. A swarm of flying RoboCops descend upon the battle and turn the tide. While the battle rages on outside the facility, the original RoboCop sneaks into the facility and shuts down Skynet. He then surrounds himself in blob of the human flesh that covers the Terminators in order to travel back to the past before the appearance of the original Terminators.
Upon the appearance of the strange blob in the present, the people are confused and then terrified as the metal RoboCop tears forth from the mass of flesh and immediately blasts off into space. He finds the earliest iteration of Skynet, which in this story is a spy satellite, and destroys it. Upon the explosion of the satellite, he immediately disappears as the caption explains that this version of RoboCop would never have existed without Skynet.
The story ends with the RoboCop of modern times feeling a sense of peace without any inner turmoil from the beginning of the story, returning to the police headquarters for much-needed rest.
I like this comic however, it falls short of the potential of combining these two franchises together and gets a little “hokey” with human flesh blobs and countless Robocop’s flying in to save the day, although this was made interesting by Youtube creator AMDSFILMS in their Robocop VS Terminator fan edits.
So why is ‘Robocop VS Terminator’ ripe for a cinematic outing? I will tell you.
OCP is easily a legitimate possible precursor to Skynet.
OCP have demonstrated their interested in technology advances time and time again. It’s perfectly viable that after the success of Robocop but collapse of the Delta City plan, they decide to re-brand and become Skynet. Perhaps Skynet is already a department of OCP who collaborated in the creation of Robocop or even they are privatized by the military, controlled and consumed just as they did to the police of Detroit. It’s a story conceit that easily fits without having to try and shoehorn two franchise histories together.
Robocop as an early Terminator design
Little is known about the internals of Robocop. How does his face look under that skin? It could easily be an exoskeleton and such a revelation could be dark and shocking for Murphy. It ties into the idea of humanity and what it means to be human. A similar idea was present in early drafts for ‘Robocop 2’ when he is disassembled. We were to see that underneath his skin was a metal surface. If Robocop is an early precursor to the same technology then this very easily puts him at odds with the future resistance and could even lead to him being protected by Skynet.
Franchise
Even without retelling the origins or Robocop, we could have a number of films which chart the course of Skynet’s birth and Robocop’s attempts to figure out and stop the war that he himself is part of. It could build on the foundations of the early films in the respective franchise and play on the fact that there is already a built in audience for both.
Robocop vs Terminator could be nightmarish, satirical and violent if done correctly. In a world of reboots of lesser quality. Why couldn’t we put these two iconic characters together?
Ladies and ginger snaps, it’s time for another episode of Digital Noise. So warm up your ear sockets! This week, we cover everything from Thor to Game of Thrones to Adventure Time…as well as titles that DON’T take place in awesome fantasy worlds. We have some Bad Dreams, discuss the reasons you really shouldn’t Beware the Batman, and fall hard for Gravity. On top of all this (is a cheesy pun sauce?), we giveaway not just one Jason Statham action movie, but a whole trio of Jason Statham action movies. The man has an around-the-clock shadow and more muscles than a seafood restaurant menu.
You gotta love it. Lock the doors, get comfortable, and prepare to crank up Da Noise!
“The arrogance of man is thinking that nature is in our control… and not the other way around.”
That quote uttered by Ken Wantanabe in the latest Godzilla trailer is probably the best hint as to how this movie will play out. It is the tone-setter, the theme, and the conflict… it’s also an astute prediction about the nature of the creature itself. I mean, this thing is HUGE and looking for blood, and anyone who gets it Godzilla’s way is certainly screwed. Check out this trailer and let’s discuss.
Did you hear that little purr Mr. Zilla gave at the end there? He’s basically telling us that this film is going to be just purrrrfect. Seriously, it really looks like they are trying to distance themselves as far away from Roland Emmerich’s film as possible. I really like the dark and serious tone that this Godzilla is taking, and it really looks like they are amping up the human element to it. I think that this is why they wanted Bryan Cranston on board. He is a serious actor, and a very dramatic one. This film means business, and god damn it, Gareth Edwards has got something to prove!
This trailer does raise a question for me, but perhaps that’s because I’m unfamiliar with the lore, so maybe you lovely folks can help me out!
They say they woke him up in 1954, and that the nuclear tests weren’t actually tests, but rather they were trying to kill it. Does that mean Godzilla isn’t the result of the nuclear tests? Where did he come from then? And how did they keep this huge lizard a secret for nearly 60 years (assuming this film takes place in modern day)?
So fellow USians, do you know the answers to my questions? What do you think of the trailer? Whatever your thoughts, comment below and let One of Us know!
When I was a little kid growing up, I gravitated toward certain characters and actors. Syndication was a big deal back then and I would plop my butt in front of the TV, turn on “Chicago’s Very Own” WGN and watch daily reruns of some of the the most memorable shows in my entire childhood. Simon & Simon was one of those shows, and ever since those days as a little boy, I’ve been a fan of the man who played Rick Simon, the very talented Gerald McRaney. To this day, tell me McRaney’s in it and I’ll probably give it a shot. It has filled me with nothing but joy to see one of my favorite actors start to get the recognition and screen time he deserves once again. There are many people who enjoy his work when they see him, but may not know much about the man. To combat this travesty, and hopefully drum up new fans, I submit to you, dear reader:
Five Reasons Gerald McRaney Is Awesome
5. The guy can go toe to toe on screen with Kevin Spacey and hold his own.
Even with a career as varied and celebrated as Kevin Spacey’s, you’d be hard pressed to find anybody who wouldn’t list his portrayal as corrupt politician and schemer Frank Underwood from House of Cards among his best work. When you have one of the finest actors in America turning in some of the most magnetic and compelling work of his life, you need to make sure that the entire cast is at least keeping pace, moreso for an individual in the role of the antagonist. Enter McRaney as Raymond Tusk, a man that has Congress and the White House wrapped around his finger until Frank comes around. McRaney’s Tusk is such a credible threat in this groundbreaking program, it could be argued that he is raising Spacey’s game.
4. He was last guest star to meet Marshal Matt Dillon in a gunfight on the TV version of Gunsmoke
In TV, being either the first or last of something in any series is very important. When the show in question is one of the most celebrated and important TV shows in history, this truth is amplified. The Gunsmoke franchise ran for 20 years on TV, and in 1975, in the episode Hard Labor, a young McRaney left his important mark on this landmark series as it was approaching its end.
3. The guy was on TV non-stop from 1981 to 1993 in 2 different series.
Simon & Simon ran from 1981 to 1989 and Major Dad ran from the fall of 1989 until 1993. That means that McRaney had to wrap up one successful series and move on to an entirely new one within the same year. 12 years straight between two shows? That is hard work worthy of a medal.
2. He is one of the main actors out there in the world making the ‘Western’ cool again.
McRaney’s career in westerns stretches well past his work on Gunsmoke. As the western has enjoyed a bit of a modern resurgence, McRaney has been there to add his presence and rightfully so. Deadwood, Justified, and Longmire have all had McRaney on at some point and he has been great in each one. Plus there is the undeniable fact that McRaney just looks snappy in a cowboy hat. Here is to more westerns and more McRaney!
1. He was Rick Simon.
Okay, so this last one is really just my own personal bit, but I love the hell out of Rick Simon. Growing up I wanted to be Rick Simon. Who doesn’t want to wear a cool hat, drive a beater truck, have a big cool dog, punch bad guys, solve mysteries, score with lovely ladies, and carry around a big gun. I was able to relate to the constant bickering between Rick and his brother AJ as it in some ways mirrors the relationship I had (and still do) with my little sister. I liked Rick’s laid back attitude towards life, he defied convention and lived how he wanted to. Plus the theme song was catchy as hell!
I love every part of this show, and I always will.
As always, we want to hear from you. Do you like Gerald McRaney as much as I do? Who are some of your favorite actors that you think don’t get there due accolades? Let your thoughts be known in the comments below!
Life lesson, everyone: if you receive an invitation to visit a group of suspiciously blissful people who have separated themselves on an island far away from the rest of the general population,
DON’T GO, IT’S A CULT.
The Wicker Man tried to warn us (twice), but some people just refuse to listen. Such is the case of the protagonists of The Sacrament, an upcoming horror film directed and written by Ti West and produced by Eli Roth. The film’s press release announcing the red band trailer, which came out last week, describes the premise in the following manner:
“THE SACRAMENT follows two Vice Media correspondents as they set out to document their friend’s journey to find his missing sister. They travel outside of the United States to an undisclosed location where they are welcomed into the world of ‘Eden Parish,’ a self-sustained rural utopia, comprised of nearly two hundred members. At the center of this small, religious, socialist community is a mysterious leader known only as ‘Father.’ As their friend reunites with his sister, it becomes apparent to the newcomers that this paradise may not be as it seems. What started as just another documentary shoot soon becomes a race to escape with their lives.”
Nope, definitely not a cult! You can check out the red band trailer for The Sacrament down below:
While the premise is not exceptionally original, the trailer leads me to believe this could be better than the average horror movie featuring a cult. It’s always interesting to watch movies involving tight-knit groups governed by a strict set of rules and the consequences that ensue when those rules crumble and fall. The Sacrament’s Eden Parish will apparently tear itself apart once the outsiders find out about its true nature and the trailer makes me think the commune’s two factions will resort to absolutely savage means to either escape or maintain order. Sounds a pretty great time at the movies!
The Sacrament stars Joe Swanberg (You’re Next), AJ Bowen (The House of the Devil), Kentucker Audley (Sun Don’t Shine), Amy Seimetz (The Killing), and Gene Jones (No Country For Old Men). The film will be released on iTunes/On Demand May 1, 2014 and in theaters on June 6.
Are you interested in seeing this film? Where would you place your remote cult commune and what tenets would you abide by to keep the peace? Share your plans for benevolent tyranny down below!
This week the THEOG honors an old tradition held over from our previous podcast, LEOG, by doing our Staple! Independent Media Expo preview show…
We called in Uncle Staple, and we all dug in about the cool stuff we’re looking forward to at this year’s show.
But, of course, that’s far from all.
This being The Original Gentlemen, we’ve got a job to do, and that’s to wax eloquent (ish) about the latest entertainment news, trailers, games, books, movies, etc.
This week the gang dives into Guardians of the Galaxy, The Fantastic Four, Game of Thrones, City of Thieves, “The Wolf Among Us”, Maron, and lots, lots more. We even find the time to answer a lot of your questions.
So without further ado, let’s get on with the show…
I don’t generally write about politics. I actually make it a rule not to. Thanks to my current career path I spend all day every day thinking about politics, and I look at this blog (and obviously all the television and movie watching that comes along with it) as my escape from that. This is where I get to focus on all the things that make me smile in life.
But just for today I’m going to break my rule. I have to. And I hope you can understand why.
A couple of years ago at DragonCon I was walking down a street in Atlanta and heard two men behind me talking. They were in town for the SEC opener and were clearly surprised to find 40,000+ Con-goers in town. One of the men asked the other why I had a badge on and he answered “oh she’s just here for that freak convention.” Now I’m a big girl and anyone who knows me will tell you that I can definitely stand up for myself, but in that one moment I felt like I wasn’t welcome there, and it was a terrible feeling. I wanted to disappear.
I can only imagine what it must be like to be made to feel like that all the time. Unfortunately, my state is trying to do just that to some of my friends and neighbors.
Indiana is not always an easy place to be a young (ok, young-ish) person. Outside of Indianapolis and a few other select pockets, this is a very religious, very conservative place that opposes change with every ounce of energy it can muster. You still can’t buy alcohol on Sundays here. Imagine deciding at the last minute to have friends over for the Colts game and then realizing that all you have to drink is some questionable milk.
But things like that you can get used to. Obviously we work around the alcohol sales problem by keeping so much beer on hand at all times that our parents start to worry. When people from ANYWHERE else in America ask about it, you just shake your head, shrug and say “that’s Indiana for you.”
Having one of these at home is just a matter of survival.
But now a group of people in Indiana, a relatively small group if the polls are to be believed, are trying to push it further. They believe that marriage needs to be protected in the Hoosier state, and I don’t mean from a divorce rate that remains somewhere north of 50%. They feel the need to protect it from two consenting adults who love each other and want to build a life together.
There is no danger of marriage equality happening any time soon in Indiana. Most likely nothing will change here until the US Supreme Court mandates it. So this current push to enshrine a ban in Indiana’s Constitution, the document meant to protect the rights of all residents of this state, comes across as nothing more than a personal vendetta against gay Hoosiers.
Over the past several weeks LGBT Hoosiers and their allies have packed the Statehouse and listened respectfully as they were told over and over again that they are sinners, that marriage equality will lead to the downfall of America, and that they aren’t fit to raise children. They’ve endured speeches from legislators that included gems like “I don’t have anything against those people.” They’ve been thrown out of the House Chamber gallery for giving a silent thumbs down in protest to some especially offensive testimony. And last week they watched as the Indiana Senate, a body elected to represent and protect all Hoosiers, once again voted to put discrimination in the Constitution.
A picture of one of the protests against House Joint Resolution 3. a proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage.
I don’t claim to understand how it feels to know that the people who make my laws don’t think I deserve the same treatment as everyone else. And I don’t know what it’s like to have people telling me I don’t have the right to marry the person I love. But I do know what it feels like to live in a state that is still doing this in 2014, and it doesn’t feel good.
As I said earlier, I know this isn’t a normal topic for Ash & Fern, and I promise this will be a rare thing from me. I just believe that we as geeks know, if in a very small way, what it’s like to be an outcast. To have people look at you like you don’t fit. To feel unwelcome. And at a time like this we need to remember that if we stop and truly think about how we would want to be treated if we were on the other side, we will realize that we really aren’t that far apart.
And with that I promise next week I’ll be back to writing about the other important things in life. Like how crazy it makes me that when Captain Jack Harkness comes back to life after being shot dozens of times his shirt doesn’t have holes in it.
We feel truly blessed to have some amazingly talented artists who count themselves as fans of ours. I know for me personally, starting out my career as a just another loudmouthed geek, I NEVER thought I would ever be featured in fan art…you know, because you have to have fans first.
And yet the last couple of years have brought an overwhelming and humbling number of artistic tributes from listeners/readers. This latest artwork is among my favorites. Listener Jordan Schwager created this image of (a few of) The Unusual Suspects from our Highly Suspect Reviews. I can’t…there just aren’t words.
Check it out…
The image came replete with Jordan’s breakdown of his characterizations of the group. You can read those descriptions below. I love that he even incorporated our beloved blue monster mascot into the mix.
Martin “The Elder One” Thomas – Ancient Time Wizard who directs the group from the shadows using his vast experience to help the group.
Beau “The Troll” Paul – with his mighty Club of Correction.
Ashley “Mind Crafter” Moreno– A master assassin who uses to her magic needles to get her POINT across. (strap in, there are more puns coming)
The Mighty Us-He is a gestalt entity made up of all the nerd rage spewed across the entire internet making him a powerful if unruly ally of the Unusual Suspects.
Chris “Cat Master” Cox – with his trusted companion Monkey the cat is a most formidable verbal martial artist, using fluid puns in quick succession to confuse and irritate his enemies and then turning their own words around making them believe they were agreeing with him the entire time.
Brian “The Beerbarian” Salisbury – A giant of a man. Using his beer fueled rants littered with puns and insightful obscure movie knowledge references, he easily overwhelm his opponents.
Luke “The Furbolg” Mullen – Not much is known about this strange and hirsute creature. He is a long time companion of the Brian and it is unclear if he is a bodyguard or pet, but what is known is that he is capable of wielding his beard with such precision and ferocity that only a fool would risk awakening his wrath.
It’s Sunday, and here at OneOfUs, that means it’s time for a trip to The Strip Club. No, not the one with the nudity and the dubious breakfast buffet. We’re talking about our new feature in which we feature reader-submitted comic strips. Check out this week’s offerings and enjoy your Sunday morning the old fashioned way. All that’s missing is the coffee.
by Jason Fisher
If you want to start submitting comics for our Sunday “Strip Club” features. and we’d love for you to, please contact us at oneofusnet@gmail.com
