Ash & Fern: And I thought I cussed like a sailor!

Last weekend I finally discovered Deadwood. I know, I know. I’m about a decade behind the rest of you on this, but for some ridiculous reason I didn’t think I’d like it. Clearly I was insane and that’s just something I have to live with now, knowing that this show could have been in my life for the past 10ish years.

Lucky for me, HBO decided to air the entire series back-to-back on one of their 36,000 channels starting last Saturday and on a whim I set my DVR to the task. And thank goodness I did.

With some unfortunately necessary breaks to sleep and work enough to not get fired, I’ve done essentially nothing but watch Deadwood for the past 7+ days, and I don’t regret a minute of it. (Ok that’s not entirely true, I did finally read Divergent to get ready for the movie. But that’s about all I have to say about that.) It’s official, I’m obsessed.

Al Swearengen is one crazy dude. In a show where I quickly learned everyone is at least a little bit nuts, he takes it to a whole new level. He is evil and creepy and slimy and I love every minute of it. And he makes cussing sound like poetry. I’m not exactly known for my clean language (I have a swear jar on my desk…at work), but the next time my mom scowls at me for saying fuck in her presence, I’m going to pull up a scene from this show for her. See? Told you I’m not that bad!

 

The man with the filthiest mouth in the West.
The man with the filthiest mouth in the West. It’s in his name, after all!

And holy crap Calamity Jane. Again, I thought I cussed a lot. As I sadly do with most shows that have characters based on real people, I spent most of the first few episodes looking up the people and locations on Wikipedia. Biggest thing I got out of her page? Disappointment that “adventurer” is no longer considered a valid career path. It’s a sad day when you realize that whatever your Wikipedia page says someday, it won’t include that as your vocation. Why am I even trying? I can’t top that.

 

She's a role model for us all.
Why can’t I be you, Jane?

 

Seth Bullock. For a “good guy”, he is also just the right amount of unpredictable. I’m never quite sure how he is going to react and it’s awesome. Obviously I’m very familiar with Timothy Olyphant from his work on Justified so I have no idea why I was surprised he was such a natural in a Wild West gunfight. Turns out I might have a bit of a crush brewing here actually.

 

Seth-Bullock-deadwood-23412390-2560-1707
He’s a natural!

 

Even the deeper themes of Deadwood manage to be interesting to me. Watching a “civilized” society try to grow out of utter chaos is fascinating. This is a place where a lack of outside forces leads to a unique code of morality. It seems there are lines that people won’t cross even when there is no authority there to keep them in line. Of course, there are more lines that they will cross…

But perhaps most importantly (ok definitely most importantly), I finally learned what a “dead man’s hand” is. I don’t really play much poker, people tend to get annoyed when I continually ask if I have a good hand or not, but like everyone else on the planet I’ve heard that phrase roughly a billion times. Now I don’t have to pretend I know what it is. Cool!

Thankfully I’m not quite done with the show yet, but I’m already dreading the day (sometime midweek I’d guess) when Al Swearengen and Seth Bullock will be out of my life forever. Or at least until my next marathon viewing.

Ok readers, thoughts on Deadwood? And please tell me what else I’m stubbornly missing out on. Clearly there’s a whole world out there that I didn’t know about!

The Strip Club: 3/23/2014

Good news, everyone! It’s Sunday and here at One of Us, that means we’re going to the Strip Club. I’m pretty much out of puns to make comparing this feature to the place where clothing comes off frequently, so let’s just skip that.

This is the feature in which we post comic strips created and submitted by readers and fans of the site. This week’s entry comes to us courtesy of Mr. Zach Martin, a frequent contributor and overall badass. Give it a look and do this whole Sunday thing the right way.

 

2014-03-23hastagged

 

We’d love for you to start submitting comics for our Sunday “Strip Club” feature. If you’re interested, please contact us at oneofusnet@gmail.com

You Decide Who Makes The ITL Cop Movie Tournament

As March continues, our specific strain of madness endures. By that I of course mean that the sports nerds of Inside the Locker are prepping their next…

TOTALLY ACCURATE, DESPERATELY NECESSARY MOVIE ELIMINATION TOURNAMENT!!!

 

 

We hope you enjoyed last week’s sword-and-sandal movie tournament.

This time around, it is cop movies that find themselves in need of a crowned champion. Now let’s be clear here, these are COP movies, not BUDDY COP movies. That tournament comes later. What we’re talking about here are blue-collar law enforcement officers whose films are not centered around their partnership with a hilariously disparate partner. Nor are these protagonists specially-trained FBI agents. The distinction is finite, but important.

So we’ve already assembled 15 of our Sweet 16 of the genre, and the last slot will once again be determined by you, our beloved listeners. Below is a group of four tournament hopefuls, the play-in films you might say. Cast your vote before Wednesday of next week and we will pencil in your top choice.

Cast your votes quick! The tournament is nigh!

Kindergarten Cop Assault on Precinct 13 Police Academy Shaft

Empty Space

Who Makes The Cut?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

Empty Space

The Pre-Weekend Recap: March 21, 2014

Welcome one and all to another edition of the Pre-Weekend Recap, the feature designed to help you catch up with some of the features that debuted on One Of Us this week.

Our crew has been recovering from the all the hectic fun that was SXSW, but that does not mean they’ve been resting peacefully. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you can see. The site’s podcasters, bloggers, and other contributors have been hard at work all week long and it would be a shame if you missed out on their stuff. Below you’ll find a few of the features that debuted here within the last week for your viewing and listening pleasure.

Movie Reviews Upon Movie Reviews Upon Movie Reviews

HSR_371_The-Grand-Budapest-Hotel

You have to hand it to One of Us’ movie review crew, they are a diligent bunch. Within the past week, the Unusual Suspects have released reviews for not one, not two, but SEVEN films. Which ones are masterpieces, which ones are passable, and which ones are absolutely dreck? Fear not, the Suspects are here to tell you everything you need to know about Bad Words, Divergent, Muppets Most Wanted, Veronica Mars,  The Raid 2, The Grand Budapest Hotel, and Need For Speed. Check them out!

 

Digital Noise Episode 35:  Back In Blu

After the frenzied marathon that was SXSW, Brian and Chris managed to get back to doing what they do best: sit on the couch and cracking wise about home releases. This week’s selections include the fifth season of The Venture Brothers, Spike Lee’s Oldboy, and 2013’s winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture, 12 Years A Slave, which also happens to be this week’s giveaway! To find out how you can win this one and to hear reviews of many other titles, all you have to do is press play.

 

Big Finishing Move: Doctor Who: Dark Eyes II

The latest edition of the Big Finishing Move audio drama review series is all about Doctor Who: Dark Eyes II. John is back with another one of the Eighth Doctor’s tales of adventure. This time, the Doctor finds himself in the middle of the war to end all wars, World War I, just as the war to end all creation, the Time War, is beginning to accelerate out of control. What does John have to say about this story and is it worth your time and money? Give his review a look for all the information you need.

 

Everything is Muppetational: Why The Muppets Have Endured

Jim Henson’s Muppets have been in the public consciousness for as long as most of us have been alive. Such longevity is an admirable feat for any property, but how have they continued to stay relevant throughout the years? Thomas Mariani speculates on the history of everyone’s favorite puppets and recounts some of the aspects that draw people to their TV shows and movies time and time again.

 

ITL Movie Elimination Tournament: Sword-And-Sandal Movies

Basketball fans across the country are hyped about March Madness of course, but if you’re more film-oriented, there’s a tournament for you happening right here on the site. The hosts of Inside The Locker are holding their very own Totally Accurate, Desperately Necessary Movie Elimination Tournament for the next few episodes and it has been pretty great thus far. This episode crowns the champion of the sword-and-sandal film category, so pull up your loincloth and sharpen your blade for some fierce competition.

If you like what you’ve seen here, please be sure to share our stuff with others who might enjoy it! There’s always more internet to conquer, so help us on our quest to unite the internet under one banner! Have a great weekend!

Movie Review: Bad Words

Jason Bateman has had it up to HERE with your shenanigans. He’s sick and tired of being the nice schlub that has to deal with some obnoxious ass coming into his comfortably square life and ruining it. In fact, he’s so done with it, that he’s not only starring in this film, he’s directing it! He plays Guy Trilby, a 40 year old man who has decided he’s going to enter the national spelling bee contest and win! Problem, is it’s really intended for kids. That doesn’t stop Guy, who foul mouths his way hysterically through legions of angry parents determined to prove a point. But what is that point? And will he be able to keep his ire up at all costs when a plucky young contestant befriends him?

All these answers and more, when you actually go and pay to watch the movie, WHICH…the Unusual Suspects do, in fact, recommend. Hear why straight from the lips of Chris, Martin, and Brian.

Movie Review: Divergent

You young adults, I swear. First you wanted more boy wizards, then it was angsty gothy teens, now you want chicks fighting fascism, when I was your age….oh, but look at me. Going off on my childhood when we should be talking about kids being forced out of childhood. That’s what all this YA stuff is about, right?

Like in “Divergent” with Shailene Woodley being forced by society to choose her own identity, only to find out she doesn’t fit into one of the neatly shaped holes that are provided for her, and must make adult decisions or be discovered for being the freaky deaky individual she is. Or something like that. And will she be able to make like rabbits with the hunky leader of her group? OH MY GAWD, I GOTTA KNOW.

Don’t let us stop you, but check out what the US has to say anyway. Chris, Ashley, JC and Beau take a look at the dystopian future of what you might think after you see this movie.

Geek Bullies: Just What Are We Trying To Prove?

Geek culture is bigger and has more influence than ever before. This is a circumstance we should enjoy and celebrate. Now, it is significantly easier to share with our like-minded brethren all the things we love and to greet with open arms all those who want to join in the fun. That isn’t  always what happens though, is it folks? Geeks and nerds used to go on and on about how bullying was so unfair. Only now that we have a little power, many of us have become bullies ourselves.

The recent debacle surrounding the release dates of Marvel’s Captain America 3 and DC’s Batman vs. Superman showed me that once again, we have become what we once hated. For those of you in the dark, after a bit of schedule shuffling, the studios have decided to release both films on the same day, May 6, 2016. Instead of rejoicing over the fact that we now have two huge superhero films to watch at that time, we immediately regressed into our factions and the internet hate tirade flowed like the mighty Euphrates. Insults were hurled, preferences were belittled, and the discussion about the release date immediately turned toxic.

 

Screenshot 2014-03-21 06.30.49
An example of some of the high-minded and respectful discussion this news has generated.

It seems the “cool” thing these days to badmouth any variation of geekdom we may not personally care for while simultaneously holding our own preferences above reproach. I remember a time when you could have a passionate yet reasoned discussion of the classic “Marvel vs. DC” where you could choose a side and yet still appreciate and enjoy the other. These days you find people either spoiling for a fight or people so wary of the possible fight that they won’t even come near the question. The fights about video games and their various platforms are even worse. Can we get a little civil discourse injected back into the mix, instead of all the pointless dick-measuring contests please?

However, despite how crappy we are to each other, we are even worse to outsiders looking in, those who have only a passing interest or are only starting to explore geek culture. A good amount of us treat them like shit, either blowing them off and calling them “fake” or constantly quizzing them belittling them for not having as much knowledge on whatever subject that we have. Particularly vexing is the geek community’s vitriolic pushback against women who are into video games, comics, or other such media. Is it any wonder so many people feel this culture is too complicated and hostile to get into?

Ask yourself, is this who we want to be?

sad-batman

HELL FUCKING NO!

We need to put the weapons down, step away from our keyboards hot from the latest flame war, and step back into the light. We need to take a breather and ask if all this posturing is about anything other than our own egos. Passion is great, but left unchecked it can grow into hatred. Do you really want to take these things you enjoy and make them about hate? I get pissed when someone talks shit about something I care about, but instead of flipping shit (which I am guilty of) like I used to, I’m trying these days to play the role of welcoming educator. We can’t force people to learn, but we can be there to offer them the chance to see the other side of things. We can be there to help guide and encourage those that want to explore more things. We can take this thing we’re a part of and work to keep it about the love instead of hate. It doesn’t cost us anything and we get to share cool stuff we like with cool people we like and perhaps make some new friends along the way. Wasn’t that the dream?

Just don’t be a dick, okay? You’re better than that.

ITL Tournament Edition: Sword-And-Sandal Movies

From within that steel gym receptacle, the sound rises; giving way to rumbling, and finally thrashing. The meager lock cannot hope to contain the resurgent force due to burst forth. Brace yourselves for the return of Inside The Locker!!!

After a SxSW-induced hiatus, your favorite sports nerds are back with a brand new Totally Accurate, Desperately Necessary Movie Elimination Tournament! As March Madness begins, these tourneys are heating up. This week, a grand champion is crowned in the uber macho subgenre that is sword-and-sandal flicks.

Ramon Ramirez, from The Austin-American Statesman and our very first Movie Elimination Tournament, is back to once again serve as the referee as the Sweet 16 of sweaty, steel-swinging, open-toed epics are pitted against one another in bloody combat until only one remains standing. Quite fitting given the category really.

Give a listen and please do share the link around if you dig it. Think there were any glaring omissions? Unhappy with the grand champion? Leave your comments below!

 

War is hell, let’s get to it.

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Sword-and-Sandal Elimination Tournament  (10:57)

The starting bracket is pictured below. If you want to see the results (and spoil the fun before you even listen to the show…for shame), click on the image to reveal a filled-in version of the bracket.

ITL_Sword_Sandal_Bracket

 

Next Week’s Tournament: Cop Movies

Shit got real

 

Make sure to follow us on Twitter. Not doing so would be as illogical as The Scorpion King being voted into this tourn–well, you know what I mean.

Scorpion King derp

The Show Account–@ITLCast
Brian–@BriguySalisbury
J.C.–@jcdeleon1
Elliott–@ITLElliott
Adam–@the_beef

Movie Review: Muppets Most Wanted

Nostalgia notwithstanding, let’s face it: The Muppets are, and always have been, awesome. The best stuff that ever came out of the Henson camp was always the shows/films that knew how to appeal to both children and adults in equal measure. Certainly the return of the felted friends to the big screen in 2011 with “The Muppets” film largely seemed to please most demographics.

But what now? Jason Segel and Amy Adams have left and a brand new set of humans (Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, amongst others) is interacting with Kermit and the gang. Will it be the same? Will it compete with the original? Or the ORIGINAL original? Or the sequel original original?

Our team of highly trained, highly unusual suspects are here to crack the case. Join Martin, Brian, Beau and Ashley as they investigate the latest muppet madcappery.