Inside The Locker: Wild Cards | One of Us

Inside The Locker: Wild Cards

7 Submitted by on Fri, 03 October 2014, 11:01
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This week’s show flies in the face of standard formula, but that’s probably because your favorite sports nerds are rebels who don’t play by anyone’s rules…even their own!

First, Brian and J.C. are joined by Brian’s brother Blake for a chat about the latest sports headlines and to dole out the requisite awards. They follow that up with a special examination of “Wild Card” characters in film, in honor of the MLB wild card match-ups. Then, the guys are paid another visit by Vince “Corner Man” Smith to discuss three major recent fights in the world of MMA.

Finally, Adam and Elliott engage in a print-based discussion on which of their beloved teams (The Dallas Cowboys and the LSU Tigers) has a better chance to turn their season around. Warning: the transcription of that chat may (and definitely will) cause chuckles.

 

Show Breakdown…

 

Scores and Stories (2:19)

Devon Still

Topics Discussed: Raiders fire head coach four games into season, A wonderful update to the Devon Still story, No more NFL blackouts, Brady Hoke in the doghouse at The Big House, Michael Phelps busted.

 

Wild Cards (31:15)

luis benny

Brian, J.C., and Blake reveal their favorite “Wild Card” characters in films. These are characters who operate by their own set of rules and can drastically change the odds of any given situation with their presence.

 

The Corner Man (36:10)

UFC

Vincent Smith returns in a satellite chat with Brian to breakdown three major recent MMA bouts (each amazing in their own way). From Stool Gate to fighters who look just like characters from Snatch, our Corner Man keeps us informed and in the fight.

 

Awards & Fantasy Segment (50:55)

Steve Smith

Rudys and rejects, Cyborgs and PWNs, it’s the “world famous” awards segment! We also update you guys on who is dominating which of our ITL Fantasy Football leagues.

 

THE SQUARED CIRCLE!

A new feature to Inside the Locker, Adam and Elliott engaged in an online chat centered around the topic of which of their favorite teams (each of which has suffered setbacks this year) has the most potential to turn their season around. Here now, are the results of that chat.   They’ve started the conversation for you, keep it going in the comment section below!

Adam: First things first…beer bucket
Elliott: Blue Moon Farmhouse Saison/Flanders-Style Ale,
you?
Adam: You just made up half of those words
Elliott: Guilty
Adam: Dogfish Head Punkin Ale
Elliott: Cause that one makes soooo much more sense 🙂
Adam: And, I actually spelled it correctly
Elliott: So how did your Fantasy Football teams do this week?
Adam: Pretty well. It was the first time all year in the ITL league that I broke 100.
Elliott: I know how you feel. I got LAPPED in one league, as in someone doubled my output. I just want a mercy rule at some point. I really shouldn’t have drafted a defense second.
Adam: Well, JJ Watt does have as many TDs on the year as Megatron. And that’s actually not a lie.
Elliott: That is like hearing that Michael Bay is successful and makes more money than other directors; it’s a truth that I rather not hear. I have just been really active trying to shore up spots getting some new running backs since apparently Pierre Thomas’ legs fell the fuck off.
Adam: Ha! Yeah, after Week 2 I couldn’t have Frankensteined a healthy player on my team.
Elliott: That is so frustrating, makes you want to go kidnap a few doctors and bring them up to your team members: “GET HEALTHY NOW! I need you to score points!”  I think that’s sort of the paradox of fantasy football, it’s something put so much time into that we dont actually have direct control of.
Adam: Yeah, and it makes me feel more like a man when I have other men make me feel smart. Except in the ITL league, I don’t feel like a man there.
Elliott: Me neither, but at least I can have as many Capri Suns as I want.  *Cue Toys R Us theme*
Adam: Googling good joke…now.
In any case…We are apparently supposed to debate which of our die-hard teams is poised for a bounce back year.
Elliott: Well I don’t think it’s that much of a debate. I wish I could lie to myself that LSU will have a great year, but Dallas is looking tough.
Adam: Yeah, but Dallas has Ebola now.
Elliott: Hahaha! I wouldn’t worry. Jerry Jones is like Mr. Burns, he has so many diseases that the current ones will build antibodies to Ebola. Boom. Cure.
Adam: So, Romo is Homer? I’d buy that.
Elliott: And Jason Garret would be Flanders. Stupid Sexy Garret. I am just very impressed with that offensive line, they just pushed around the saints d line.
Adam: Yeah, I had this great lead up to why I figured Dallas was more poised for a bounce-back year, and it’s two simple words: Fat. People.
Elliott: Well we are in Texas, it’s about time that paid dividends.
Adam: Seriously though, that O-Line is looking fan-friggin-tastic!
Elliott: Yeah, and bringing up a larger question that is often debated…
Adam: Larger than the O-Line?
Elliott: Ha! Is it the running back that matters or O-Line? I vote O-Line. Example: Old Dallas Team, Alabama et al.
Adam: It’s absolutely the O-Line. Not discounting Demarco by any means.
Elliott: No, I will discount him. He must have velcro on his gloves this season.
Adam: Yeah I’ve got a Little Giants clip I need to introduce him to.
Elliott: Ha! Same wavelength, you and me.
Adam: Luckily though, his fumbles haven’t really cost a game yet.
Elliott: I think if they can keep developing things and limiting Romo and running the ball, they will make a decent playoff run.
Adam: It also doesn’t hurt they’re playing in the NFC East.
Elliott: Yeaaahh.
Adam: We’re 3-1 and haven’t played any divisional games yet.
Elliott: Yeah, there is a very nice schedule coming up for them. Which brings me to LSU…they lost to Mississippi State!
Adam: Hahaha!
Elliott: Someone who any SEC team that is a true contender should handle EASILY!
Adam: Oh…that wasn’t a joke.
Elliott: Tears, only tears. With Auburn, Alabama, and other powers coming up, it could get ugly.
Adam: LSU is always the wild-card though.
Elliott: True, and the new Freshman QB looks good, looks like the real deal.
Adam: They always seem like the team that doesn’t want to succeed more than them wanting YOU to not succeed.
Elliott: Ha, yes. It’s like Miles doesnt wake up unless a house is on fire.
Adam: And that house is Auburn.
Elliott: Couldn’t happen to shittier fans. Just the worse, they don’t even deserve proper grammar. A la Nelly: they get that country grammar.
Adam: Well, KC’s fans did drunkenly face-fuck a Patriots fan this past week.
Elliott:  Welllll, I cant muster the ability to get upset. I mean it’s the Patriots, it’s like the Rebels talking shit to the empire.
Adam: Pretty sure JJ’s got some face-f&%^in something planned in that regard.
Elliott: Hahaha!
Adam: Abrams, not Watt. This is the only podcast where that probably needs to be clarified.
Elliott: I thought you meant Watt, he is just so electric!
Adam: Unless he’s TD dancing, which he apparently can’t do.
Elliott: Nope, but fat guy touchdown I am always in support of.  He qualifies by default as a d line man.
Adam: Yeah, and I’m really curious how our O-line does against him this coming weekend.
Elliott: That’s a good question. I mean, I think they just avoid him and run to the other side. The BIG question is how good will that D be when Clowney is healthy again?
Cant wait to see that, it will be like Denver’s D with Ware, Miller, and other pro bowlers.
Adam: It’ll contend for the best front-seven in football. Watt and Clowney on the edges with Cushing clogging the middle.
Elliott: There gonna kill folk.
Adam: So here’s a question for you then (since you’ve conceded Dallas over LSU)
What’s more likely at this point: Dallas in the playoffs, or New England NOT in the playoffs?
Elliott: Dallas in playoffs. I think that’s a lock at this point. New England just doesn’t have it. You can have a system, but you need some help for Brady…like a bit.
Adam: Right now I see them as exactly the polar opposite of Dallas’ strategy.
Elliott: ?
Adam: We drafted linemen. They got rid of their best one.
Elliott: Yeah, I think they started believing their press.
Adam: Brady is now experiencing what Romo’s had to deal with for the past 4 years, only Brady has the whitest of white men’s feet.
Elliott: Ha!
Adam: Watching New England makes me feel good about actually defending Romo these past few years.
Elliott: I bet man. It’s like, “I wasnt just a homer!”
Adam: He makes stupid plays, and makes *stupid* plays.
Elliott: Sounds like a dumb Brett Farve…or Brett Farve.
Adam: Farva? Frave?
Elliott: DAMNIT FARVA! What are you doing Meow?
Adam: Listen meow! This is where JC would really get into the conversation.
Elliott: Yes.
Adam: Not because he likes Super Troopers. Cat fetish, it’s in print now.
Elliott: It’s like the quantam theory of fan art: if you say it, they will draw it. HINT!
Adam: Aaaaaand I don’t think we could go out on a better note.
Elliott: Nope. JC loves pussy! There it is, I said it!
Adam: Mic drop.

 

 

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Watt INT

The Show Account–@ITLCast
Brian–@BriguySalisbury
J.C.–@jcdeleon1
Elliott–@ITLElliott
Adam–@the_beef

 

 

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Written by

Brian is a four-year veteran of the interwebs, a member of The Austin Film Critics Association, and currently writes for Film School Rejects, Movie Pilot, Movies.com, and Fandango. An obsessive consumer of film, Brian loves everything from Buster Keaton to 80s post-apocalyptic sci-fi. He’s also a diehard Indianapolis Colts fan and collects VHS, laser discs, and classic game systems. An eighth-level geek overlord, Brian is one of the founders of OneOfUs.net, the brainchild of he and partner in crime Christopher Lawrence Cox. Brian cohosts both the Inside the Locker and Digital Noise podcasts.