Hosts: Chris Cox and Various Friends

Here at One Of Us, we strive to get you, the fans, involved as much as possible. After all, without you, there would be no “us.” To wit, we are offering our own special brand of feature film commentaries. Now we know that you can listen to commentaries on your own DVDs and Blu-rays, and we’re by no means trying to be more insightful than the actual creators of the film. Instead, we are creating an experiencing designed to make you feel like you’re sitting on the living room couch with us; hanging with friends, sipping beer, and cracking wise. Plus, you know that every commentary you buy, for an exceedingly low fee, helps keep the site up and running. Thank you so much for your support, sit back, relax, and prepare to watch a movie with us.

WAMWU: Sleepwalkers

What with The Dark Tower just having come out, The Mist on tv with Castle Rock coming soon, IT about to drop in theaters, we thought it was a Stephen Kingy time of year. Our podcast Deliberations of Doom covered quite a few of the lesser-discussed or seen Stephen King movies (that are still worthy of discussion on some level) but we were assured that we missed one. Sleepwalkers. Yes, the movie with cat people are deathly allergic to actual cats and use their seemingly arbitrary magical powers to add variety to their muscle car collections. And Stephen King WROTE this. For the screen. Good times were had on this commentary track with Chris, JC, and Michael, to be sure. If you’re a Time Lord subscriber or above you can check it out right here.

WAMWU: Resident Evil: Vendetta

It’s Rage Select meets Oneofus as the two website heads meet up in the middle to give a much-needed commentary track to the CG animated film (and the third in the ‘trilogy’), Resident Evil: Vendetta. It had to happen. Trust me. If you’re a subscriber at the Time Lord level or above, you can download it right here.

WAMWU: The Fifth Element

Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element is one of the most widely beloved and widely despised films ever made. It’s bizarre French comic book sensibilities and absurdist sense of humor didn’t connect with just as many people as it did with. Now, we here at Oneofus.net industries have realized that in wake of the release of Besson’s considerably lesser (but similar) Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, it was time to revisit this classic with one of our patented commentary tracks. Your host, Chris, is joined by three folks new to the Oneofus-verse, Ben (a good guy and long-time fan going back to the Spill days), Taylor (one of Chris’s oldest friends who is developing a video show for the site even now), and Rod (who you might remember from the sadly defunct, but maybe not for much longer, Geek Bombast podcast). Together they say what needs to be said, riff, praise, laugh at, and generally just have a good time watching this crazy movie.

WAMWU: Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Because War for the Planet of the Apes just came out in theaters (and seriously you should go see it, listen to our review if you don’t believe me…but mainly listen to Chris on it) it seemed appropro to do a Watch a Movie With Us for one of the other films in the series. The original plan was to do the original Planet of the Apes but since Chris wanted to record with Martin and he had JUST re-watched it for a Double Toasted show, he agreed to slide a movie down with the sequel, the not even close to as good (but much easier to laugh at without feeling bad about it), Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Teaming up with another DT’er (and Apes movie obsessive) Ian, the three give one of the funnier commentary tracks we’ve recorded in some time. Time Lord and above subscribers can check it out right here.

WAMWU: Spider-Man 3

We threatened it back when we did our commentary track for Spider-Man 2. And now here it is, a podcast I feel should appropriately be given the subtitle: “Chris and Cargill Dogpile on Martin”. Sorry about that, bud. Regardless, this mini Spill.com reunion brings together three of the guys you love talking smack, and defending some stuff unjustly criticized, about Sam Raimi’s film, Spider-Man 3. Subscribers at the Time Lord level or above can download it right here.

WAMWU: Transformers: The Movie

Chris Herman is joined by Matt Frank and Rage Select’s Jeff Schuessler (aka “Professor Jeff”) to come at that Transformers movie people actually seem to love…the animated one. You know, as opposed to the Michael Bay movies. If you’re a Time Lord subscriber or above you can download this fun commentary right here and sync it with the movie.

WAMWU: Mortal Kombat

Nick and Travis of Unapologetic Geekout traveled to Chris and Jon’s neck of the woods for a crossover episode with We Are Error! The team gathers for a commentary track of Paul W.S. Anderson’s 1995 classic Mortal Kombat, arguably the best video game movie ever made.

Can you handle four-armed freaks, demon ninjas from hell, and grown men crying? Then do some push ups, put on your best shades, and get ready to engage in MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

WAMWU: Deep Blue Sea

What with the current release of another giant sharks horror film (47 Meters Down) we thought we’d revisit this old classic (?!) and give it the commentary track treatment. Chris, Patience, Nick, and Ken are your shark hosts. Let the hilarity begin. I mean, if you’re a Time Lord or above subscriber to the site, that is. YOU guys can download this funny as hell commentary right here.

WAMWU: The Mummy

With the oh-so-unsubtle timing of releasing this commentary on the same day as the new bigger and blander Tom Cruise Mummy movie, we’ve gone back to the far-flung year of 1999 for the version of this story that seems to resonate the most with you millennials out there (and young Gen Xers), the Stephen Sommers-directed, Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, starring, goofy Indiana Jones+CG wannabe version of the tale. For this one, we’ve got our team of amateur archaeologists: Johnny Neil, Cat and Harris, and giant monster-lover, Matt Frank. Oh, and Chris will pipe in from time to time. So if you’re a subscriber at the Time Lord level or above, you can sync up your movie and settle down for a HYSTERICAL (seriously, I was crying at a few points) commentary with the gang.

WAMWU: Batman

Presenting The Original Gentlemen between-seasons Summer special! Beau, Chris, Martin, and our special guest Justin sit down to do a commentary track for Tim Burton’s “Batman”. How does it go? How do you think it goes with the THEOG crew gathered together again for the first time in awhile? It’s a LOT of fun. If you’re a Brown Coat or above (lowered a level so the THEOG fans can hear it too) check it out right here.

WAMWU: Prometheus

With Alien: Covenant coming out today, we just HAD to go back and cover Prometheus, right? So many unanswered questions and I mean that QUITE LITERALLY as Covenant hardly provided the promised answers to the posed queries of the previous film. So, now in retrospect, is Prometheus better (short answer: no), worse? You’ll have to listen to this commentary track with Marco, Chris, and Patience to find out. WARNING: This does contain spoilers for Alien: Covenant.

WAMWU: Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie

Since you guys seemed to enjoy seeing over Watch a Movie With Us for the first Power Rangers movie, we thought, well, why not go ahead and do the next one? To be fair, the incomparable talents of Cantankerous Christopher Herman, Jammin’ Jonathan Romo, and Mischievous Matt Frank are not to be sneezed at. These three make a really funny (and informative) trio for the films that some of our older (nay, near AARP level) members have no real experience with. If you’re a Time Lord or above subscriber, you can download their antics to sync up with the film right here.

WAMWU: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

Chris Herman and Jon Romo from our video game podcast We are Error teamed up with our resident Kaiju/All-things-Japanese-and-dorky expert, Matt Frank, to record a commentary track for the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie. You know, the one from 1995? We figured since the new movie was out and the fans of the series seemed to be digging on it, why not send these fans of the series back to re-experience the original? How does it go? If you’re a Time Lord or above subscriber at Oneofus.net, you can download it and find out for yourself!

WAMWU: Fast Five

What with The Fate of the Furious (F8) coming out shortly, we thought we should revisit one of our favorites in the series, Fast Five. For this one we have Chris Cox (who is not able to defend the F&F film series on any rational level but how do you quantify love?), Joe Brower (who will not let us do anything F&F oriented without him there), and Logan Youree (our compatriot from the Inside the Locker podcast who ‘came out’ as a giant F&F series fan in order to do this commentary). Testosterone-fueled madness ensues….and our drinking commentary of the film. We recommend you follow suit. Available for Time Lord and above subscribers!

WAMWU: Doctor Strange

We watched the Doctor Strange blu-ray and thought to ourselves, hey, there’s something missing here: one of the main writers isn’t on the commentary track! How could they leave out our buddy C. Robert Cargill! So, we sought to fix that by recording a track with him, Chris Cox, and Marvel comic writer Paul Benjamin.

This track is available to Red Shirt and above subscribers instead of the usual Time Lord and up only commentaries. That’s right, for supporting our site for only $2.00 a month you get access to hear Cargill dish out the secrets behind the making of the film, and as he says in it, this is everything he’s got.

WAMWU: Suicide Squad

You knew it was coming. The OneOfUs.net crew versus the DC Universe crew with their shoddy release of Suicide Squad. Chris Cox, Johnny Neil, Beau Paul and JC De Leon are up to the task. And as a special bonus, we recorded a commentary track for the first episode of The Flash (although be warned: by that point we were kinda drunk).

WAMWU: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

Chris, Martin and Sarah didn’t want to do this. But they had to. They had to for YOU. It’s pretty much a snarky hate fest. As you knew it would be when you asked for it.

WAMWU: Resident Evil

It’s been awhile since we’ve done one, and now we’re planning a bunch more, but here’s the first of a new slew of commentary tracks for you Time Lords and above to listen to. Chris Cox, Chris Herman, and Jon Romo watch 2002’s Resident Evil and have a bit of fun at its expense.

WAMWU: Dune

Dune. Some said it was unfilmable. Most still do. David Lynch gave it a solid try and ended up with…well, this. Not that we’re all haters. No, we’ve got a hater (Sarah), a lover (Beau) and a noob (Herman). And then there’s Chris who shows up towards the end to “spice” things up. Get it?

WAMWU: X-Men

We put together our own team of mutants to do a commentary track for the 2000 film “X-Men”…the movie that launched a thousand superhero films. Maybe the first real modern SH movie, that doesn’t mean it’s not already kinda dated. We brought in Chris, Beau, Elliott, and Johnny Neill to give this thing the proper roasting (and also love).

WAMWU: Alien Resurrection

Happy Belated Alien Day! Harris and Randy joined Chris to watch the fourth chapter of the Alien series of films. Is it unfairly maligned or even worse than we remembered? The only way to know for sure is to listen to this fun commentary track for the movie.

WAMWU: Supernatural & Buffy the Vampire Slayer

We threatened it was going to happen and now it is here. Chris, Sarah and Cat got together again to record commentary tracks for the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and for Supernatural. Why? Because we’re all unapologetically huge geeks for these shows and thought it would be fun. And indeed it was. I’ll admit, it turned into more of a show-wide discussion of each than specifically a commentary on the episodes in question, but I think fans of the shows should get what they were hoping for in our geekery and trivia about each program.

WAMWU: Highlander

There can only be one! Or rather, there should have only been one. Highlander movie that is. And that’s the movie we sit down and talk about in this commentary for the 1986 Russell Mulcahy film starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, and Clancy Brown as immortals seeking to lop the heads off all the other immortals so they can be the last one and get some sort of prize thing. Or something.

This time Chris is joined by Sarah and Catherine as they travail through the Director’s Cut of this classic (?) 80s action film.

WAMWU: Streets of Fire

Get strapped in for an eighties classic! Classic being a loose use of the word, although some would strongly disagree here (Richard, who was SHOCKED that Chris didn’t think this was a masterpiece).

Chris gets roped into sitting down for a commentary on Walter Hill’s Rock and Roll Fable “Streets of Fire” by Joe and Harris, who do in fact have a deep and abiding (nostalgic) love for this movie. Chris, who barely remembers the film from it’s initial release, is not so impressed upon his second viewing and isn’t shy about expressing these views. Altogether, it makes for some hilarity. Why don’t you sit down and watch this movie with us? It’s more fun that way.

WAMWU: Green Lantern

It seemed relevant, what with a really good Ryan Reynolds superhero movie about to come out, to do a commentary for a really bad one. That’s ‘Green Lantern’ we’re talking about. Damn did we have high hopes for this one. But to no avail as what we got was a pretty mediocre entry in the genre and a badly miscast Reynolds. To give this one its proper due, we brought out our favorite bar owner, and huge fan of Green Lantern COMICS, Miguel, and our own perennial bad boy, Beau (who hadn’t actually seen this yet). Expect chaotic hilarity.

WAMWU: Escape From New York

When Rod (our publisher) asked me, “Hey, have you guys ever done a commentary for Escape From New York? I’d love to do that one with ya’ll”, my first instinct was, OF COURSE we’d done a commentary for it. It’s one of Brian’s favorite movies ever (and no slouch in the awesome department for Chris either) and we’d made a point of doing Carpenter films a lot. Wait, REALLY we didn’t? So, Brian, of course, came back for this one. I think you’re going to love watching the exploits of Snake Plissken and hearing the endless trivia machines that are Brian Salisbury and Rod Paddock comment on it (while Chris tries bravely to make some jokes). Listen in with us, won’t you?

WAMWU: Labyrinth

Can we all do a magic dance and bring David Bowie back to life? Although I still like to believe he’s just in outer space, we thought it appropriate to pay tribute to the legend with a film that is often unfairly maligned (in our humble opinions), Labyrinth. But, on the other hand, also deserves a fair bit of joshing as well. Join Chris, Jeff and Richard as they take a trip to the land of the Goblin King.

WAMWU: Spider-Man 2

It finally happened. We got Martin Thomas to sit down and talk about exactly what it is that he hates so much about Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man 2”. I mean, it’s generally considered (by most of the people we know, anyway) to be the best of the Spider-Man films. And hey, he famously defends the most reviled of the series (part 3) against detractors. So, in order to give him his fair day in court, Chris decided to get an actual Spider-Man comic book writer, our old friend Paul Benjamin, to come in and hear him out…while we all watch the movie together.

WAMWU: The Shadow

We know it’s been awhile and we wholeheartedly apologize, but we’re here present to you the first of many to come of our new subscriber exclusive commentaries! For this questionable classic, Beau and Harris joined up with Chris to give 1994’s “The Shadow” the side-eye it deserves. Not that it’s not fun but boy…there’s enough corn here to feed a starving third world nation.

WAMWU: Die Another Day

We have a new mission for you, subscribers. For your ears only! Taylor Carlisle and Kaycee from our Geeks@Large podcast sat down to watch one of the biggest James Bond misfires of all time! Want to enjoy an otherwise unenjoyable flick? Taylor and Kaycee gotcha covered! Watch this movie…with them!

WAMWU: Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Three little mockingjays flocked together to watch the second film in The Hunger Games franchise, with all the reverence and somberness you’ve come to expect from Watch a Movie with Us! So…no reverence or somberness at all!

Just for you, the subscribers of District Us, Brian, Richard, and Chris watch Catching Fire! They offer trivia, wisecracks, and troubling sexual confessions. What? I’m still typing? Well shit. Grab or stream a copy of Hunger Games: Catching Fire (it is on Netflix) and prepare to watch with Us!

WAMWU: Big Trouble In Little China

Thankfully, turning back to films we actually LIKE to watch (after that trio of painful choices you guys made for us to watch as the ‘worst of 2013′), we go to our Jedi Knight subscribers who got to pick a movie for us…and we were MORE than glad to comply.

“Big Trouble in Little China” not only is one of our favorite goofy fun movies, but it adds to our steadily increasing collection of John Carpenter movie commentaries we’ve done. Collect the whole set! Except maybe “Ghosts of Mars”. I’m not sure we could sit through that one again.

Regardless, this tale of Kurt Russell channeling John Wayne while fighting Chinese Black Magic (drink whenever you hear it!) is a cult classic. We’ve gotten together Chris with Richard Whittaker from Digital Noise, and have added in Richard’s best gal Melissa, who jumps into the fray like she was born to do these commentaries. We think you’ll enjoy listening to this one as much as we did recording it.

WAMWU: A Good Day To Die Hard

We’ve finally done it! After weeks of fan voting, and after a long absence to recover from the mental wounds of R.I.P.D., here now is the Watch a Movie with Us commentary for the #1 worst film of 2013 as voted on by you, the nation of Us: A Good Day to Die Hard. In honor of Memorial Day, let us never forget…how much better this franchise used to be.

As it turns out, there is never a good time to revisit Die Hard 5, but we hope this irreverent running commentary softens the blow a bit. How are we rewarding you for suffering through AGDTDH? Well first of all, we’ve brought in the one and only Jeff from RageSelect.com, a man who loves Die Hard but has never seen this abomination. Suffice to say, Jeff’s trademark rage was aptly stirred by what he beheld.

WAMWU: Teen Wolf

For our first subscriber-only commentary, the guys from Inside the Locker gathered together to watch (and lampoon) the movie that inexplicably won the Sports Movie Elimination Tournament. That movie? The one that bested the likes of Rudy and Bull Durham?

Teen Wolf

WAMWU: R.I.P.D.

Continuing along this countdown of shame (where’s Disgrace-y Kasem when you need him?), Brian and Chris arrive at the #2 worst movie of 2013 as voted upon by you, our sadistic fans. Today, we are enlisting ourselves in the questionable law enforcement agency known as the R.I.P.D.

At first, we weren’t sure that R.I.P.D. could actually be any worse than Grown Ups 2, which we survived earlier this week, but as our special guest for this commentary so eloquently put it, “it is the most pointless movie ever made.” A relentless parade of Men in Black ripoffs, R.I.P.D. has nothing in the way of its own personality. I mean heck, even Jeff Bridges isn’t creating an original character for the movie; opting instead to copy and paste his garbled cowboy schtick from True Grit.

Rest assured, Bridges’ incomprehensible tongue-tumbling becomes the subject of many an impression and joke during this COMPLETELY FREE commentary.

Joining us for this free commentary is Joe Parsons from Master Pancake Theater, also a former member of the LEOG. Feel free to download the commentary and see if our running skewering allows you to stomach the cumbersome, CG-laden, internal-consistency-devoid R.I.P.D. Huzzah!

WAMWU: Grown Ups 2

Well, here it is the first of our three commentaries for the worst films of 2013 as voted by you, the distinguished members of Us Nation.

I don’t know what we did to you to make you hate us so much, but we will not go back on our word. Even if that means watching the absolutely repugnant Grown Ups 2. That’s right, coming in at #3 according to your votes is the sequel to a film that really pushed the envelope as to how far a group of wash-outs can ride on the “I’m friends with Sandler” ticket.

Joining us for this viewing party is comic artist and obvious masochist, Paul Benjamin.

Also as promised, this commentary is completely free. Why? Well, we figured it will be embarrassing enough for you to actually have to rent Grown Ups 2 from your local video store. OK. enough sweet sheltering preamble, nothing left to do but (gulp) watch Grown Ups 2.

WAMWU: Die Hard

The weather outside may be frightful, but watching John McClane decimate an international gang of thieves masquerading as terrorists is so delightful.

Maybe that’s not how the song was written, but like McClane, we adapt to the situation. Just in time for the holidays, the fine folks at OneOfUs.Net invite you to watch with them one of the greatest Christmas films of all time: Die Hard. It may not have reindeer or snowmen, but it does have forty stories of pure excitement!

Brian and Chris are joined by their good friend Q Manning (owner and founder of Rocksauce Studios here in Austin) as well as (briefly) Luke Mullen, and our friend and fan Josh Gripman, as they come out to the couch, watch a great movie, have a few laughs. They wax geeky about why they love the flick and what makes it a classic, but also crack plenty of irreverent wise that is sure to have you ho-ho-ho’ing like Alan Rickman.

WAMWU: Evil Dead

The first offering we have for you is a seminal classic in every sense of the word. Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead revolutionized not only our beloved horror genre, but independent filmmaking as well! The old standby story conceit of isolating teens at a cabin in the woods? THAT’S RAIMI’S DOING!

To properly enjoy our revisit to that cabin, Brian and Chris brought along their friend Ashley Moreno from The TV Dudes. Hilarity and appropriately inappropriate jokes ensue!

WAMWU: Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

It’s here! It’s here! Strike up the demon band and let the unholy chorus play! It’s Halloween, Us Nation!

This time around, Brian is joined by Peter Hall from Movies.com and Alamo Drafthouse programmer Greg MacLennan to experience the underrated triumph that is Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight. Amazing practical effects, a phenomenal cast, and pure in-Zane-ity!

WAMWU: Piranha

What’s that lurking beneath the waters? A hungry evil waiting to to devour you whole and spoil your aquatic hijinks? No, it’s not Jaws, it’s something far…cheaper.

That’s right, kiddies! We’ve got another premium horror movie commentary for you, and this time it’s got some real bite to it. We’re watching Joe Dante’s beautiful 1978 rip-off Piranha.

Screenwriter/novelist/fellow mega-geek C. Robert Cargill (née Carlye) sit down with Chris & Brian to sink our teeth into this hilarious, but still intermittently brilliant monster movie.

WAMWU: Carrie

According to Wikipedia (so take that as you will) Brian De Palma’s directorial take on Stephen King’s Carrie is one of the most popular movies watched by teens on Halloween. It was a huge success both with audiences and critics when it came out in 1976, and even got an Oscar nod for actress Sissy Spacek and Best Supporting for actress Piper Laurie. But best of all (for our commenting purposes) it’s got John Travolta as one of the baddies and it’s DELICIOUSLY dated as hell.

Oh, you know this one is gonna be good.

On this loving mockery of a commentary track you’re gonna get your hosts, Brian and Chris, but as well Luke Mullen joins us and a special one-hour appearance by everyone’s favorite furious curmudgeon, Jason Murphy from Rage Select.

WAMWU: Halloween

WAMWU: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

Don’t look now, but the guys of One Of Us are inviting you to watch with them the camp classic The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. By the time it’s over, you may just feel like you’re one of the Hong Kong Cavaliers.

WAMWU: ID4

Enjoy all the White-House-demolishing, catch-phrase-wielding chaos with Brian, Chris, Luke, and Randy from Loose Cannon Comics. Oh, and this introductory commentary is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!