Sonic GLOOM: Sega and the Hedgehog Dilemma

Hello, my name is John Eckes, and I have a secret.

I am a Sonic fan.

Played the games? Sure did and I still own and replay many of them do this day while rocking out to Crush 40. Watched the cartoons? I can sing the entire SatAM theme song by heart. Read the comics? The first comic I can remember buying for myself was the first issue  of the original Archie Comics mini-series and I still grab one once a blue moon just to see if anything of interest is going on.

Now that my credentials as a true blue Sonic fan out of the way, I want to make the next point very clear… I am a REALISTIC Sonic fan! I’m not going to tell you the Game Gear games were any good. I’m not going to try and convince anyone Sonic ’06 is some misunderstood masterpiece or that Sonic Underground was actually pretty clever. I’m not about to lie to your face and say the Sonic BOOM games are anything but utter garbage (but the cartoon is okay).

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Failure Twin Powers, Suck-tivate!

Yes, Sonic BOOM, the games haven’t even been out a full month and the internet has exploded with content every glitchy, poorly designed moment of the two titles. On the one hand this is great, people protecting other people from crap games, the way that content has been presented online  however is a toxic one that in the end helps no one. What is Sega’s motivation to make a good game? Think about it, unless you already liked Sonic games did you buy or play the last three Sonic games? Sonic Colors, Sonic Generations, and Sonic Lost World all received good to mixed reviews, but they did little to buy back the outside world’s trust in the franchise.

Then Sonic BOOM hits and all of a sudden Sonic and friends are everywhere again. The internet at large breathes a sigh of relief as its long proven baseless assumption that ANYTHING Sonic related has to be bad gets to live another day while the great Sonic Crusaders swoop in to defend the property no matter what obvious faults the latest incarnation may have. Sega only has one major franchise to its name and the only way to keep the company rolling is to constantly churn out Sonic games. If it rolls out the occasional turkey, so what, their failure will most likely go viral, giving them a bunch of press which they can use to stay afloat.

Now before everybody jumps on me for blaming the audience let me clarify something, I don’t blame the internet for this state of affairs, I blame Sega. The internet is a cruel mistress, willing to beat down all who make a easy target of themselves as long as they continue to feed the machine, and that is exactly what Sega does now. They feed the machine.

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Remember When This Logo Used To Mean Something To People?

The internet is going to do what it will, that doesn’t mean you go and work to be an active target for our ire!  They’ve taken this pathetic form of life-support for their company and made it their business plan, and that pisses me off! If they had enough balls or brains they could fix this downward spiral, but that would involve a sense of pride the willingness to fail, and I mean fail on that company closing kind of level instead of living off internet hate and childhood nostalgia. Hell, many people think since Nintendo has done more than anybody to keep Sega alive and since Sega steals their ideas from whatever new Super Mario game that came out last year that Nintendo should just up and buy them. Why Sega isn’t actively campaigning for this on Nintendo’s front lawn is beyond me.

So what can we do since Sega can’t seem to be bothered to save themselves? We can change the conversation. Instead of bashing Sega for making failures, let’s bash Sega for not living up to our expectations. Instead of ramming their face in whatever turd they’ve made so we can feel better about ourselves, let’s rub their noses in what they have done right and shame them for not giving us more of the same. Demand Sega respect you as well as themselves and deliver good games. It is a small change in perspective, but it would cause great change. Let us stop enabling failure, breathe new life and creativity in Sonic games everyone can enjoy, and use the fiery rage of the internet  to do something constructive for a change.

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Way Past Cool!

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Inside The Locker ‘Peter Pan Live’ Live Pan

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Normally, when those fantastic sports nerds of Inside the Locker host a live commentary, it’s for something sports-ball-y. This week however, the guys are doing something they’ve never never done before.

Tomorrow night, right here on OneOfUs.Net, Brian, J.C., Elliott, and Adam “Beef Nuggets” Charles will be providing a live play-by-play breakdown of NBC’s Peter Pan Live! Starring Allison Williams as The Boy Who Never Grew Up and none other than Christopher Walken as Captain Hook.

Join us back here on this post tomorrow night at 7pm CST for all the high-flying, tap-dancing, swashbuckling mayhem. We’re not automatically assuming Peter Pan Live will be bad, but how could we pass up the chance to call this our Peter Pan Live Live Pan?

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

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Somebody Likes It Ep 20 – Spiritualized: “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space”

Well, we fucking did it. We went ahead and recorded a show without Kevin. The only adult “Somebody Likes It” has really known thus far. I wasn’t sure that Ryan and I could hold the motherfucking jalopy together, but god was willing and the creek didn’t rise (and with a liberal dose of help from Mark) we got it done!

WE DID IT!!!!! (Cue America the Beautiful at an ear-splitting volume. And little shiny shit falling from the ceiling)

We discussed “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” by Spiritualized. Along with the best damn album title ever, this thing is a pretty solid listen! I guess we made fun of Ryan’s choice of snacks (again) and started getting used to recording this thing in a new garage.

Oh and wait. I forgot about this week’s “A Few Minutes With”. Well, not as much forgot as punched myself in the god-damned forehead in an attempt to forget. And here’s where stuff gets kind of complicated. See, I had just assumed that Kevin, with his DAD HUMOR and SADISTIC HUMOR had, as his final pick for a month or two, given us the hilarious-for-half-a-listen-two-summers-ago “What Does The Fox Say”, to get in one last sadistic swing. Well, turns out, Mark thinks that shit is HILARIOUS. So, I guess that seals the deal. Mark is just as much the voice of Adulthood as Kevin ever was. Except Kevin never had an animatronic fox that danced around his garage and sang the song. So I guess Mark has him beat there.

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So, my pick next week. We will get back to the 70’s with Shuggie Otis and his incredibly influential album “Inspiration Information”. At some point a Gwen Stefani song will pop up. See ya then…

–Shane

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A Killer Cast for DC’s ‘Suicide Squad’

Yesterday, Warner Bros. officially announced the cast for Suicide Squad, confirming many of the rumors surrounding the project. The film will feature a huge ensemble cast to play the baddest of the bad in DC’s most infamous team of super criminals. It will also mark the first cinematic appearances of many beloved DC comic book villains and anti-heroes.

 

 

 

Variety has reported that Suicide Squad will star Jared Leto as The Joker, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, Will Smith as the assassin Deadshot, Tom Hardy as Rick Flag (rumored to be the team’s leader), British model Cara Delevingne as Enchantress and human meat puppet Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang.

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Warner Bros. is billing this film as their Ocean’s Eleven with supervillains. With the exception of Courtney, the cast is pretty impressive. I think you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone not excited to see Leto and Robbie’s take on DC’s most deranged comic couple. It’s also nice to see Smith willing to act in an ensemble cast. The actor has had a reputation for only starring in films that present him as the sole focus. It’s nice to see Smith wanting to be a team player. Also, Hardy’s past experience as the supervillain Bane in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises will most likely serve him well in this newest comic book movie. While Rick Flagg and Bane are very different characters, Hardy’s capabilities as an actor and prior experience working on a huge film production will at least allow him to know the ins and outs of what comes with being a character in a comic book movie.

The plot of the film is currently unknown, but if DC were to borrow certain elements from the popular Assault on Arkham animated film that featured the Suicide Squad, than I think both DC and Warner Bros. could have a potential hit on their hands. Having the film centered around a familiar location like Arkham Asylum would not only increase fanboy anticipation, but it would most likely pique the interest of those who may not be overly familiar with the team.

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While the team that is the Suicide Squad has been confirmed, Warner Bros. is hardly finished with its casting call. According to Variety, Warner Bros. is mulling over a shortlist of actresses to play the squad of villains and anti-heroes’ charismatic handler, Amanda Waller. Of the actresses being considered for the part include Octavia Spencer, Viola Davis and Oprah Winfrey, who is rumored to be the studio’s first choice. For those unfamiliar with Waller, she’s very much the big government bad of the DC Universe. Name an assassination or black ops mission in a DC comic and you won’t be surprised to learn that she had some hand in it.

In many ways considered to be a darker version of Marvel’s Nick Fury, Waller has spent most of her life fighting against DC’s heroes and villains. Although almost always presented as a villain herself, Waller did strike up an unlikely understanding/friendship with Batman in Bruce Timm’s award-winning Justice League Unlimited. Her most recent appearance outside of the comics was in Assault on Arkham, where she tasked the Suicide Squad to infiltrate and eliminate a specific target within the dreaded asylum.

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Warner Bros. President Greg Silverman also released a statement praising Director David Ayer and the film’s cast.

The Warner Bros. roots are deep on this one. David Ayer returns to the studio where he wrote ‘Training Day’ and brings his incredible ability to craft multidimensional villains to this iconic DC property with a cast of longtime Warner collaborators Will Smith and Tom Hardy, and other new and returning favorites: Margot, Jared, Jai and Cara. We look forward to seeing this terrific ensemble, under Ayer’s amazing guidance, give new meaning to what it means to be a villain and what it means to be a hero.”

What about you reader? What do you think of the newly announced cast? Let us know in the comments below.

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Highly Suspect Reviews: ‘The Homesman’

Saddle up with The Unusual Suspects as they mosey on up to this Oscar hopeful. The Homesman, directed by Tommy Lee Jones, centers on a nonsense-free pioneer maven named Mary Bee Cuddy (Hilary Swank) who is tasked with escorting three madness-stricken women from Nebraska to Iowa. Who could pass up such a scenic trip right? Along the way she teams with down-and-out scoundrel George Briggs (Jones) and the two discover just how much life sucked in the 1850s.


Brian and Chris stave off rickets and tomahawk injuries to bring you this Highly Suspect Review. Does Homesman have what it takes to find Oscar gold at the end of this bitter winter? Pack your wagons and give the review a listen to find out.

 

 

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The ScreamCast: Raw Force of the Christmas Evil

We welcome in the Christmas season by discussing Lewis Jackson‘s CHRISTMAS EVIL, but not before taking a slight detour into the South China Sea with the Burbank Kung Fu Club and 1982’s WTF-opus RAW FORCE! Brian Saur returns from his hiatus to join in on the ridiculous conversation. We also share our favorite Christmas Film Traditions.

 

The Flicks:

Raw Force (1982)

Raw Force

Director: Edward D. Murphy
Written By: Edward D. Murphy
Starring: Cameron MitchellGeoffrey BinneyHope Holiday

Welcome to Warrior’s Island, burial ground of disgraced martial arts masters!

When the Burbank Kung Fu Club travels to this mysterious island, they quickly find themselves facing the bloodthirsty vengeance of flesh ripping, kung fu fighting zombies, gun-toting white slave traders and a band of strange monks, who may be the only key to explaining the madness. Edward Murphy’s RAW FORCE is a virtual smorgasbord of over the top sleaze –mixing zombies, cannibals, outrageous action, gore, copious amounts of nudity and starring exploitation greats, Cameron Mitchell and Vic Diaz.

Vinegar Syndrome presents this quintessential piece of early 80’s trash newly restored from the original camera negative and on blu-ray for the first time!

 

Christmas Evil (1980)

Christmas Evil

Director: Lewis Jackson
Written By: Lewis Jackson
Starring: Brandon MaggartJeffrey DeMunnDianne Hull

When he was a boy, Harry idolized Santa Claus, but one Christmas Eve, he witnessed something horrifying that forever shattered his innocent understanding of Santa. Now an adult, Harry wants to embody the pure Santa Claus he grew up loving. He works at a toy factory and keeps records of who’s been naughty and nice, but the spirit of Christmas isn’t what it used to be and he can’t take it. So, garbed in his red suit, Harry decides that the only thing he can do is to become Santa himself and make all of the naughty townspeople pay…in blood! Vinegar Syndrome is proud to present Lewis Jackson’s cult favorite Christmas Evil newly restored in 4k and on blu-ray for the first time!

 

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World of UScast: British Bodcast Episode XIV: 88 Seconds of Bliss

On this week’s British Bodcast, Duke and Kia discuss:

-New found love for Star Wars led to Kia watching the prequels. Jar Jar, religious overtones and the Jedi’s self importance are discussed as they simply angered Kia.

-They talk about visiting a Lego (not Legos) con, buying the Lego Batman Tumbler and playing Lego Marvel Superheroes.

-Finally they talk about the state of UK cons and how two rival companies are putting conventions on the same date and making the community choose.

Don’t forget to visit needtoconsume.com for a UK slant on all your geek news and reviews!

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Public Axis #99: Jaffer Khan

The Best Teen Movies! The Largest Love Lies! The Spiciest Food Stuffs! Mythbust the Friend Zone with Public Axis and guest Jaffer Khan!

Recorded at the Public Axis F-Stop on November 20th, 2014.

00:00 Welcome to the F-Stop!  This week, we welcome comedian Jaffer Khan, runner up in the 2014 Funniest Person in South Texas and co-host of Podcast in a Car. Mighty good times ensue.

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17:47 Yeah, Aiight Den!  Topic #1: What is your favorite teen movie? ERMERGERRRD! Inspired by the film, The Duff (Designated Ugly Fat Friend).

46:14  Dad’s Corner(ed)!  Topic #2: What’s the worst lie you’ve told to someone you were attracted to?

1:17:18 Hey, That’s Not Funny!  Topic #3: What is the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Inspired by the spice. The SPICE!

1:41:41 What Did We Come to Know? Public Axis is an educational program and at the end, we always ask our guests and listeners, “What did you come to know?” Enlighten yourself.

Let your friends know about Public Axis on Facebook and Twitter and keep those Facebook comments coming at our Happy Campers group!

 

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Good vs. Evil vs. Shades of Gray: A Response to Ferguson

I’m not sure what it is about our human nature, but we insist on using our innate tendency to put people into categories, especially two: good and evil. We use it to justify actions or explain circumstances. This tendency is especially apparent in our entertainment history. Think of all the books, movies, TV shows where there is a distinct good guy and bad guy. Westerns made it very clear based on the color of their hats–white for the good guy, black for the bad guy. Comic book heroes added on to the idea.

 

For years, our superheroes were beyond reproach, always fighting for justice against villains that were characterizations of complete evil. The Wicked Witch of the West haunted our dreams as children with her flying monkeys. (OK, maybe that was just me.)

Real life helped shape art that reflected this distinct separation as well. During World War II, Hitler gave the world a villain that was so evil it almost seems as though Hollywood created him in a writing room. The allied powers were definitely and completely presented as the good guys, and, as if written by Hollywood, they of course ultimately won the war.

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Since then, however, the lines have become a bit more blurred. Wars have been fought for much less righteous reasons. The good guys sometimes have had ulterior motives. The bad guys have been given more relateable back stories. Our entertainment has started to reveal this as well. The Wicked Witch of the West starred in her own musical hit wherein, it seems, she was just trying to free others from the Wizard’s control. Batman has a trilogy where his history is much darker and haunting than any of the BOOMs and POWs ever communicated in the 60’s. Maleficent really just loved Sleeping Beauty and wanted to protect her. Dumbledore earned his wisdom from many of his own wrong, deceptive decisions that led to tragedy for others. Even the top grossing franchise of the Marvel Avengers shows each of our superheroes with demons of their own, and anti-heroes like Loki getting much of the attention and sympathy of the audience.

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So why, when our art is reflecting a gray world, do we still insist on commenting on current events in only black and white terms? Why do we insist on formulating opinions of people we don’t agree with as villains and those we do agree with as heroes? Have we not learned from our entertainment that, in the end, we’re all just humans with both light and dark in us?

The events that happened in Ferguson, MO were a tragedy, pure and simple. The events that continue to occur are what will be a legacy of this tragedy. However, as someone outside of the situation, the events that I find troubling are the postings I see daily on both unprofessional social media and professional media turning these people into black and white heroes and villains, both literally and figuratively.  This goes for both sides. I’ve seen posts that paint Michael Brown as a thuggish, drug-dealing, gangster with no regard for any authority and as an unarmed, child-like angel. I’ve seen posts about the police officer Darren Wilson being a racist with a power-hungry authority complex and as a humble community servant who abides righteously by the law. Perhaps, we should think before polarizing these people, and remember that each of us has within us the capacity for great good and great evil, and sometimes tragedies happen without one person being a hero or one person being a villain.

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I do want to stress that I am not commenting on whether or not I believe that the grand jury’s decision was the right or wrong one. I do not have enough knowledge of law or police procedure to make that kind of claim. I am also not claiming that justice shouldn’t be served if it is necessary in this event or any like it. All I’m saying is the rest of us, especially those outside of the situation, might want to think about how we characterize these people in our own public commentary. They are not black and white heroes and villains of a 1940’s movie. They are people going through a very human tragedy, and it deserves to be respected as such.

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Nostalgia Destroyers: Rainbow Islands

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Rainbows. Islands. Adorable Beelzebub and killer anus bosses. How did Bubble Bobble’s sequel turn into a video gamer fever dream?

Marc and Dustin tackle 1987’s Rainbow Island:The Story of Bubble Bobble 2, and it’s nuts.

Enjoy the play, enjoy the adult-themed jingles, and see if Marc and Dustin’s nostalgia gets destroyed, or gently stroked like a fat, happy cat. Gently. Stroked.

 

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