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SECRET HEADQUARTERS MOVIE REVIEW
If you’ve exhausted your current superhero content after consuming Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Thor Four the Fourth Thor Love and Thor-der, available She-Hulk episodes, three seasons of The Boys, The Boys: Diabolical, Invincible, DC’s League of Super Pets, The Batman, DragonBall Super: Super Hero, Morbius, Catwoman Hunted, Green Lantern: Fear My Power, Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse, and Ladybug & Cat Noir: Awakening, and you’re anxiously awaiting the upcoming superhero releases of Black Adam, Wakanda Forever, Shazam! Fury of the Gods, Aquaman (Amber Heard is still somehow in this) and The Flash movie is still coming out, but they canceled Batgirl, and you just absolutely need to see something with a CGI superhero fighting the villain version of himself with the same powers, AND you’ve run through all the back catalog of superhero content on Netflix, HBO, Hulu, and Amazon, then Paramount Plus has the movie for you! Jack Kincaid (Owen Wilson) is The Guard, a superhero chosen by an alien artifact to inherit its powers and save the world, but his hero duties cause him to neglect his parental duties to his son Charlie (Walker Scobell), driving a wedge between them. When Charlie stays at Jack’s house for his birthday, he invites his friends Berger, Lizzie, and Maya over, where they find Jack’s underground lair and find out his secret identity. Meanwhile, a weapons CEO named Ansel Argon (Michael Peña) wants to use The Guard’s power source for his own sinister schemes. When the villains attack, the kids must team up to defend the secret headquarters and save the world. Harmoni, Sarah Jane, T.C. and Chad answer the call of the One Of Us signal to explain how perfectly fine this movie is.
DIRECTED BY: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman
STARRING: Walker Scobell, Owen Wilson, Keith L. Williams, Momona Tamada, Michael Peña, Jesse Williams, Charles Melton, Abby James Witherspoon, Kezii Curtis, Jessie Mueller, Lucius Baston, DK Metcalf, Dustin Ingram, Levy Tran, Michael Anthony, Lav Luv, Dayna Beilenson
YOUR REVIEWERS
Chad Halvorsen (Screener Squad)
Chad Halvorsen currently resides in Milwaukee, WI, where he produces and edits commercials, films, and everything in between. He was always a fan of film/television growing up, spending days in the Summer, making (terrible) home movies with his brothers. Little did he know that passion would carry on into adulthood. Since 2006, Chad has worked for several agencies in various departments. Shooting, producing, editing, production management, directing, and when forced to, writing copy. In 2015, Chad decided to take the big leap and become a freelancer. Since then, he’s produced content for Lyft, AT&T, Target, and Discovery Network. His passion lies in entertaining people, making them feel better, even for a moment. All the pain and suffering of this business is worth it, if even just one person views his work. Chad is a frequent podcaster, most notably posing as a co-host for the podcast “The Film Illogical Society.”
Harmoni Anderson (Screener Squad, Highly Suspect Reviews, Unstabletop Gaming)
Harmoni is a mermaid-haired, millennial, rum drinking, Section 31, Slytherin (who’s divorced J.K. Rowling) preschool/nursery teacher and multi genre geek who also loves all things film, tv, fashion, makeup, and an embarrassingly huge BTS stan. Like really embarrassing. As in, mention them and then sit back and watch the insanity. Harmoni likes being able to game and talk movies/TV with people that aren’t 3 feet tall or all that demanding of her. Plus she can curse at us and not get fired….so bonus!
Sarah Jane (Highly Suspect Reviews, Screener Squad)
Sarah Jane was born and raised in Southern California but currently calls Austin, TX her home. She’s seen over 5,700 movies so far with zero plans on stopping. She has a penchant for all things exploitation, and she loves Godzilla with all her heart. Her favorite films are Deep Red, Le Samourai, and Miller’s Crossing. When she isn’t watching movies, she’s busy herding her four cats, her husband, and her 11-year-old kiddo. She’s been a contributor to TalkFilmSociety, Daily Grindhouse, FThisMovie!, Looper, and the Austin Chronicle. You can find her on Twitter and Letterboxd at @fookthis.
T.C. De Witt (Screener Squad)
T.C. De Witt is a multi-awarded writer/director originally from Wisconsin and now based in Los Angeles. His life has been devoted to the arts since he was a child. He’s been a stage performer, playwright, stand-up comic, film and television actor, radio DJ, podcaster published author, recorded musician, and comic writer/illustrator. He is now a professional screenwriter and has been thriving for the past decade, regularly offering his talents to production studios in LA, Chicago, Milwaukee, and internationally in Sydney and Poland. He’s provided content for Amazon Prime, Netflix, and several YouTube partners. His films have screened internationally, and his stageplays have been performed across the country. In the last ten years, he has directed 57 films, 23 episodes of his series The One Minute Rewatch, 300+ episodes of podcasts, and his multi-award-winning short film Screen: Righter screened at the Festival de Cannes in 2016. He has released two feature films, The Princess Knight and A Christmas Sunset. He thrives on collaboration and the thrill of sharing stories in all forms.
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