ARMY OF THIEVES MOVIE REVIEW
The “Army of the Dead” cinematic universe (yes, we are also baffled that this is a thing) continues with this new prequel movie “Army of Thieves.” This story focuses on the origins of safecracker Ludwig Dieter (Matthias Schweighöfer), whose real name is revealed to be Sebastian Schlencht-Wöhnert. While living a mundane existence in Potsdam, Germany as a bank teller, Sebastian’s life changes forever when he receives a cryptic comment on his previously unwatched YouTube channel. The commenter is revealed to be a master thief named Gwendoline (Nathalie Emmanuel), who has seen Sebastian’s theories about the mythic four vaults created by a master locksmith that had been deemed unbreakable. Gwendoline has found the location of all but one of the vaults and, along with her motley heist crew, plans to use Sebastian to crack them all open. With time and a team of Interpol agents working against them, can they accomplish this tall order? With Justin being the only brave soul from the original review willing to give this a shot, he has joined a new reviewing team with Jordan, Marcos Lira, and Eliot. Did this end up being a step up from the first movie? Or was it a heist gone wrong?
DIRECTED BY: Mattias Schweighöfer
STARRING: Mattias Schweighöfer, Nathalie Emmanuel, Ruby O. Fee, Stuart Martin, Guz Khan, Jonathan Cohen, Noémie Nakai, Christian Steyer, Barbara Meier, Peter Hosking, Leonard Treyde, Jasmina Peña Milian, Nandi Sawyers-Hudson, Violina Maria Rostami, David Dvorscik, Amy Huck, Peter Simonischek
Justin Zarian (Screener Squad, Eye on the Prize, Breakfast Pub, Assistant Site Manager)
Justin’s fate as a movie fanatic was written in the stars when his birth forced his parents to cancel their planned Oscar viewing party. While growing up in California, he was often seen in front of the television watching and re-watching Star Wars, Jurassic Park, classic Disney movies and a steady stream of animated shows. This eventually led to a B.A. in Film at Brigham Young University and an Outstanding Student Teacher Award for displaying a level of film knowledge so insane that even his fellow film students couldn’t compete. He received his M.A. from Syracuse University and is currently pursuing a teaching certificate, but still volunteers at One of Us every so often for the fun of it. His hobbies include non-stop film conversations, wondering how Mass Effect 3’s ending went so wrong, espousing the joys of shooting guns (but not hunting, as he’s quick to note), writing the next great American television show in his head, and anything else entertainment related. You can find him on Facebook once in a blue moon.
Marcos Lira (Highly Suspect Reviews, Screener Squad)
Me? I come from the South, Out there, beyond the horizon by the big river. Out there where the bandits formed cities, and the gambling is legal. I got into movies like most nerds by watching Tarantino but fell in love with movies through Chinese Cinema for some reason. A few of my favorite things would probably be live music, new experiences, and belt-fed ammunition. You can catch this occasional podcaster, occasional other Marco and full-time human on any form of social media by typing jlmarcos62. Hit me up for music suggestions and bad jokes.
Jordan Cobb (Screener Squad)
Born with a comic book in one hand, a camera in the other, and in front of the television as WrestleMania played out, Jordan Worth Cobb was thus birthed into this crazy world. A Digital Filmmaking major from the University of Central Arkansas, Jordan has done it all in film from directing, writing, editing, and producing in addition to skills involved in film and TV criticism, journalism, and years of podcasting experience. On any given day, her ADHD riddled brain bounces focus from film to pro wrestling to TV to superheroes to noir to video games to espionage and yes, even to sports. She played little league you know. For more of this eccentric nerd, you can follow her on Twitter here and read her original writings on Deepest Corners of My Notebook.
Eliot Nelson (Screener Squad, Staff Writer)
Soaked in the soggy rains of Seattle, Eliot developed a love of sci-fi, movies, cartoons, heavy metal, and all of geekdom. Pursuing his passion for the written word, he got his BA from The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. He has since worked exclusively in the foodservice industry, like any liberal arts major worth their salt. Eliot wiles away the hours listening to movie reviews, writing his epic sci-fi novel, and consuming as much media as possible. His favorite movies include The Lord of the Rings, City of God, Dawn of the Dead, and Groundhog Day. When not rambling to himself about the ineptness of entertainment executives, Eliot posts infrequently on Twitter and squawks regularly on his podcast The Debasement Tapes.
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