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HOUSE ON EDEN MOVIE REVIEW
All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray. I went to a church, and it was so spoooooky SCARY! Halloween is coming and Shudder is ready to assume its final form. Director, writer, and actres Kris Collins finds the camera and supplies the footage for a haunted house in the middle of nowhere found footage film House on Eden. Kris (Kris Collins), Celina (Celina Myers), and Jay (Jason-Christopher Mayer) are YouTube stars looking to catch a ghost on film to increase their viewership and make history. They chance upon an abandoned manor that seems completely off grid. There’s no trace of life or death within its hallowed walls. Not even a speck of dust on a bannister. The trio gets to work on trying to speak with any ghosts that dwell in the house. During their routine inspection they uncover the mysteries of Adam’s first wife, Lillith, and all the baggage that comes with mankind’s first ex. Bradly, Ian, and Jena conduct a seance of their own at the local library, give spooky quotations from long-dead writers, shout-out to film professors from the college days of yore, and give arbitrary ratings of the very first time variety on the screener squad!
DIRECTED BY: Kris Collins
STARRING: Kris Collins, Celina Myers, Jason-Christopher Mayer, Carrie Kidd, Barb Thomas
YOUR REVIEWERS
Bradly Martin (Screener Squad Boss, Eye on the Prize, Breakfast Pub)
Bradly Martin was born in the united states and grew up on a healthy diet of sports, films, and books. A rather shy lad who kept to himself, Bradly soon discovered the best way to know a person was to know what people liked. Throughout the years Bradly became a fan of many things and a fanatic of none. From Doctor Dre, to Doctor Strange and the who’s who of Whos. From Playstation to the Dreamcast and Marvel to DC. From LeBron James to James Bond and Lord of the Rings to Lord Palmerston (or Pitt the Elder if you agree with Wade Boggs) and is a huge fan of dad jokes and randomly obscure Simpsons references. Armed with a vast knowledge of comics, films, and pop culture. Bradly traveled the world making friends and sharing takes. As a young man Bradly married the love of his life young and grew older every year with each new child brought into the brood. If trends continue, Scientists predict that .2% of Canada (where Bradly and family reside) will be populated by Bradly’s children by the year 2029. You can hear him leading and listening to his favorite critics on the Screener Squad and maybe even providing some comments of his own.
Ian Butcher (Highly Suspect Reviews, Eye on the Prize, Breakfast Pub)
Moving all around the country growing up meant that there was only one constant in Ian’s life, the video store. Thus began a lifelong obsession with all things celluloid. While spending most of his origin story becoming a human IMDB, Ian came across a certain site called Spill.com, This discovery, combined with a need to move away from the pacific northwest and never look back, led Ian to drop out of film school and move to Austin. A general man about town, you can usually find Ian in a hole in the wall bar in east Austin, running around town with a camera pretending to be something of a filmmaker, or talking about all things movies here on OneOfUs.net and DoubleToasted.com.
Jena Perry (Screener Squad)
Jena Perry. Aka Luna. Aka Dion. Aka Memori. Aka Dog whisperer. Aka whiskey connoisseur. As you can see, depending on when you met this Oakland, California native, you have experienced a completely different person, each time. After finally deciding on a 13+year career choice as a Videographer and Radio Personality, Jena balances her time between pursuing her Doctorate in Philosophy, providing insightful and funny critiques on films and Television, raising her daughter and dog in Ohio, and constantly fighting off the existential dread that is being a dope black woman in America in the 20th century.
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