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MOONFALL MOVIE REVIEW
I blame you “OMG let’s go see a really bad movie” folks. There’s no end of those on streaming. There are movies where giant transforming robots fight Frankenstein and Jaws is possessed by the devil. You could watch and point and laugh at those and millions more like those. But no, everytime Roland Emmerich (Independence Day) helms a film, because he had one (or possibly two) dumb but fun films in the past, you guys keep going back. So WE have to keep sitting through this crap. Argh. Here, Patrick Wilson is a disgraced ex-astronaut who years ago after a disastrous mission that cost the life of a man, swore to anyone who would listen that it was some sort of intelligent alien cloud that killed him, and then burrowed into the moon. Admittedly, that’s crazy, right? Of course, NASA knew he was telling the truth and let him take the fall because seriously, what are you supposed to do about a giant AI cloud from space? Nothing for about ten years, is the answer, until something changes and the moon begins to shift its orbit, taking it inevitably into a crash course with the Earth. A desperate three person team is formed of Wilson, another astronaut and by default the head of NASA (Halle Berry), and an insane comedy relief conspiracy theorist (John Bradley) who will, because this is an Emmerich film, end up being right about absolutely everything. And oh my. Chris, Frank, and Wright had much to say, and not all of it is describable as ‘angry ranting’.
DIRECTED BY: Roland Emmerich
STARRING: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Michael Peña, Charlie Plummer, Kelly Yu, Azriel Dalman, Donald Sutherland, Eme Ikwuakor, Carolina Bartczak, Maxim Roy, Frank Schorpion, Stephen Bogaert, Andreas Apergis, Kathleen Fee
YOUR REVIEWERS
Christopher Lawrence Cox (Founder, Da Boss)
Born in the wilds of northern Virginia, Chris managed to put all of his survival skills to use and barely escaped with his life to Austin Texas in 1992 where ever since he’s dabbled in everything from plumber’s assistant to sandwich maker, from band to bar management. An opportunity to see theatrical release films for free by becoming a critic on a local public access show called “The Reel Deal” turned into a full-time job when Chris and his friends decided to take it to the internet. They built the site Spill.com, adding multiple podcasts and animated features, to no small amount of success. During this time, a fortuitous friendship sprung up between Chris and young Brian Salisbury, who was also a local film critic, and they merged their forces of will, and their laundry list of ideas for shows, to eventually build this community of critics. While Brian eventually followed his heart to a new family, Chris continues on with a cast of colorful folks from all over the country (and a few others). You can also check out Chris in his videocast, along with Martin Thomas and Danni Danger, that One Of Us does with our friends at Bell of Lost Souls: Crossover Event. He also regularly guests on the video game website Rage Select. Follow Chris on Twitter and Facebook and check out his Amazon Wish List.
Frank Calvillo (Highly Suspect Reviews, Screener Squad)
Born and raised in South Texas, Frank currently lives in Austin and has been in love with movies ever since his father showed him some Three Stooges shorts when he was five years old. Today he loves all kinds of film, regardless of era, country, budget or genre. He believes every film has an audience and is at least one person’s favorite movie. After writing for Sight & Sound and Slackerwood, he now writes for Cinapse where his increasingly random taste in all flavors of cinema (from Rashomon to Mars Attacks!) continues to thrive. His ultimate goal is to write a script for his boyhood crush, Michelle Pfeiffer.
Wright Sulek (Screener Squad, Digital Noise, Highly Suspect Reviews, Audio Editor)
Wright hails from the northern suburbs of Dallas, Texas. His passion for filmmaking brought him to Austin to study and make movies. Since then he’s had his hand in acting, writing, and directing his own short films with numerous like-minded film geeks he’s met along his journey. His newest interest has brought him into the podcasting world. He’s co-hosted a few different movie related podcasts such as ‘And Now This’ and ‘The Match Cut’. His current hosting gig is with longtime friend, Eric Samaniego, where they talk shop about the grimiest, trashiest, lost gems of movies on their show, ‘Trash in the Can’. Wright is also hosting reviews with Screener Squad and editing reviews as well.
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I’m disappointed that you guys didn’t notice The Shining launch pad carpet pattern as the wallpaper at the hotel hosting the moon conspiracy meeting.
The 8 millionth thing to reference the Shining pattern. Sigh.
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