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JUNGLE CRUISE MOVIE REVIEW
Remember when they announced the first “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie and we were all like, really? Making movies out of your theme park rides Disney? Seriously? And then it was really good and we all ate crow (at least until the sequels). I can tell you that when they announced “Jungle Cruise”, which is based on possibly one of the most WTF is it still doing there Disney theme park rides, I pretty much went through the same thing. And now, having seen it…dammit. It’s really not too bad at all. Sigh. Emily Blunt plays Lily, an adventurous Indiana Jones type of Botanist (yes, I know) who, along with her more timid brother (Jack Whitehall), wants to charter a boat on the Amazon river to find a mythical tree with blooms that grant miraculous healing. Unfortunately, a lot of barriers are in her way, such as being a woman (it’s 1916 and being a wild adventure type, much less wearing pants, was not a thing that was expected of ladies then), a nefarious German u-boat commander (Jesse Plemons), monstrous immortal Conquistadors, and trying to get her hired captain Frank (Dwayne Johnson) to just do what the hell she paid him to do. Chris, Jennifer, Tessa, and Spider-Mike take on this big Disney spectacle and were all surprised by how much of it wasn’t half bad.
DIRECTED BY: Jaume Collet-Serra
STARRING: Emily Blunt, Dwayne Johnson, Jack Whitehall, Édgar Ramírez, Jesse Plemons, Paul Giamatti, Veronica Falcón, Dani Rovira, Quim Gutiérrez, Dan Dargan Carter, Andy Nyman, Raphael Alejandro
YOUR REVIEWERS
Christopher Lawrence Cox (Founder, Da Boss)
Born in the wilds of northern Virginia, in 1992 Chris managed to put all of his survival skills to use and barely escaped with his life to Austin Texas, where ever since he’s dabbled in everything from plumber’s assistant to sandwich maker, from band to bar management. An opportunity to see theatrical release films for free by becoming a critic on a local public access show called “The Reel Deal” turned into a full-time job when Chris and his friends decided to take it to the internet. They built the site Spill.com, adding multiple podcasts and animated features, to no small amount of success. During this time, a fortuitous friendship sprung up between Chris and young Brian Salisbury, who was also a local film critic, and they merged their forces of will, and their laundry list of ideas for shows, to eventually build this paradise you see before you. Follow Chris on Twitter and Facebook and check out his Amazon Wish List.
Jennifer Lynn Larsen (Giganticast, Highly Suspect Reviews, Screener Squad)
Born near Seattle, WA, Jennifer has transplanted to Austin TX and is equal parts Roller Derby Girl, Cosplayer, Dungeon Master, Mothra Priestess, and game nerd. She writes the weekly Cosplay beat for Bell of Lost Souls under the name Mayhem’s Muse and travels the world competing in traditional Ground and Horseback archery tournaments with The Eastern Contingent. She comes to OneOfUs by way of Rage Select, where she is part of the dynamic duo “Team JRPG” with magical girl and fellow contributor Matt Frank. (So, SO much fangirling). Jennifer is known for her love of Dragonlance, classic JRPGS, and all things 1980s. She is a regular contributor to Giganticast and is currently diving through every Mothra project ever created. She just returned from her first appearance at G-Fest where she cosplayed as Miana of the Houtua.
Tessa Morrison (Highly Suspect Reviews, Screener Squad, Unstabletop Gamers)
Well-rounded nerd and artist, Tessa Morrison grew up in the misty mountains of West Virginia and was constantly ridiculed for being a “weirdo.” Then moved to Austin in 2009 where people said the same thing, but in an endearing tone. Tessa works an office day job, creates puppets and fiber art, cosplays, models for gaming and animation studios, and volunteers for various organizations. One of which is the Other Worlds Film Festival, Austin’s first SciFi film fest, working in the capacity of Outreach Director and programmer. Another is local DIY-comedy-wrestling league, Party World Rasslin’, where Tessa scrambles around stage-handing and doing art department nonsense. Wrote and contributed to website and magazine Strange Kids Club for five years reviewing films, video games, and Halloween candy. Co-hosted a Public Access show called Ladies of Fandom. Previously guested on podcasts Blood Over Texas, Threequel Club, Trash in the Can, Retro Movie Roundtable, and Nerds with Mics.
Michael Riojas (Screener Squad, Highly Suspect Reviews)
The man with the ever-changing nicknames. Born in Austin, Riojas was rocketed to Del Rio, Texas, a literal small ville. In his youth, he was bitten by a radioactive… okay, look. Mike is not very good at this whole “talking about himself” thing. But he has been so obsessed with comics, video games, and anime since childhood- that if one has to choose between listening to Joe Quesada or Mike over any obscure Spider-Man trivia, they go to him (or, at least Martin Thomas once said so). He is also a big fan of “Ghostbusters” (he even owns his own jumpsuit and two, that’s right, TWO proton packs!), collects toys and video games, and will defend “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” if provoked. He lives in Austin with his beloved Dachshund-Maltese and trusted sidekick, Dean. He can also be heard on RageSelect. He can be found on Twitter and Instagram.
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