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Screener Squad: Artemis Fowl

Artemis Fowl Movie Review


Celtic fantasy, high-tech crime, and dwarf dirt farts come together in Disney’s Artemis Fowl, directed by Kenneth Branagh (who brought you the best Shakespeare adaptations and that Jack Ryan movie that we all forgot). Artemis Fowl is about the 12-year-old genius of the same name (Ferdia Shaw) who teams with a fairy (Lara McDonnell), a regular-sized dwarf (Josh Gad) and butler (Game of Thrones‘ Nonso Anozie) to find his missing father (Colin Farrell) and recover a stolen item. This movie has been in developmental hell for 19 years and probably should have stayed there. For a movie this bad, we have a very special team. SHAK IS BACK!!! And alongside him, we have Bradly, Nathan, and the only person who actually read the books that the film is apparently loosely based on, Dogget. We explain what even was this film and why Coronavirus was the best thing to happen to it.


DIRECTED BY: Kenneth Branagh

STARRING: Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Colin Farrell, Judi Dench, Hong Chau, Nikesh Patel, Joshua McGuire, Chi-Lin Nim, Lewy Xing, Adrian Scarborough, Vincenzo Nicoli, Conor MacNeil, Adam Basil

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