Highly Suspect Reviews: Page 16

Hosts: An Ever-Rotating Lineup of OOU.Net’s Unusual Suspects

That’s right, your favorite geek conglomerate website is now doing audio movie reviews! The cast of reviewers is subject to change even movie to movie, we have a whole rogues gallery of cinema outlaws, but one thing you can always count on is that these funny and insightful film reviews will always be, in some way, Highly Suspect.

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

You know you’ve been waiting to hear, you’ve got to know: where do the Highly Suspect reviewers fall on the latest Marvel theatrical epic. Let’s see…you’ve got the whole original goofy space crew returning (albeit one, significantly smaller), the return of Michael Rooker in an expanded role as Yondu and Karen Gillan as Nebula. You’ve got the legendary Kurt Russell in a big part as Ego (and that’s all I’m saying about that for now). Lots of familiar faces (to old school comic book fans), really funny cameos, and promises of things to come to make any cosmic Marvel fanboy drool….well, yeah. we dug it. Listen to Chris, Beau, Frank, Jon, and JC give you the sweet deets.

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How to Be a Latin Lover

Who is the #1 most influential Hispanic male in the world? According to Variety in 2014 it is Eugenio Derbez. Thousands showed up to see him put his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Now, if you’re a clueless American like me, you probably said, “Who”? Well, Eugenio managed to leverage a surprise hit in American theaters with the Spanish-language film Instructions Not Included in 2013. Now he is back, headlining a (primarily) English comedy, where he plays a washed up gray cougar hunter who is forced out on the street when his elderly catch forces him out after 25 years. Forced to move in with his sister (Salma Hayek) he begins to befriend and teach her ten-year-old son in the ways of being a casanova…but, of course, to try and get something HE wants as well. So how does Derbez’s latest work with English-speaking audiences? Is it as funny as his resume would suggest? Chris, Frank, and George (our new critic of the week!) give you the low-down.

Now he’s back, headlining a (primarily) English comedy, where he plays a washed up gray cougar hunter who is forced out on the street when his elderly catch forces him out after 25 years. Forced to move in with his sister (Salma Hayek) he begins to befriend and teach her ten-year-old son in the ways of being a casanova…but, of course, to try and get something HE wants as well. So how does Derbez’s latest work with English-speaking audiences? Is it as funny as his resume would suggest? Chris, Frank, and George (our new critic of the week!) give you the low-down.

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Free Fire

Jacob, Patience, Jon, Chris Cox, and Chris Herman all were super excited to watch Free Fire, the latest film by indie wunderkind Ben Wheatley. Or rather, everyone else was excited to watch it after Cox and Herman wouldn’t shut up about it since they saw the premiere at SXSW. So here’s the final word from folks who saw it without the fest madness alongside those who did…does it live up to their praise? I mean, Cillian Murphy, Brie Larson, Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, and a bunch more in one long comedy-invective laced fire fight? Listen and hear for yourself.

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The Lost City of Z

ZED. The Lost City of ZED…is what I imagined before we recorded this review every one of our listeners from across the pond would be yelling. And so I tried to start us out on the right foot. Still probably said it wrong at some point during the review. Oh well.

Charlie Hunnam plays a British Major who needs some decorations on his uniform if he wants to get out from under the shadow left by his ne’er do well father. So he agrees, despite having a wife, a child, and a second child on the way, to head an exploratory trip to the Amazon jungle to find the beginning of the mighty river. Despite all the complications you might imagine, the trip changes his life and begins him on a quest to prove the existence of an early civilization that once lived there. And if you listen to the review, Chris, JC, and Frank give their reviews to prove they went to go see this 2hr20min film.

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The Fate of the Furious

Eight. How the hell are there eight Fast and the Furious films? Why? Because of groups of people like us keep LOVING THE ($#% out of them! Not ‘so bad it’s good’ so much as ‘big, dumb, and perfectly executed for maximum fun’, the series has regardless certainly had its ups and downs. This time, Jason Statham gets slid from the ‘bad guy’ category to the ‘family’ category (you knew it was coming), Vin Diesel has a secret with Charlize Theron and he has to betray his family, and lots of spy shit happens. Things blow up, Lamborghinis fall from the sky, dogs and cats sleeping together, total anarchy. But is it enjoyable? Chris, Richard, Harris, Joe and Brian (that’s right, BRIAN) give it a look-see.

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Legion Season 1

In this full-on spoiler review, Chris and Johnny Neill are joined by two newcomers to oneofus.net, Neil and Evan, to thoroughly review the first season of Legion. Why? It’s not just because it’s another Marvel comics show, albeit not a Netflix one like we’ve traditionally covered. It’s because we thought it was absolutely groundbreaking television in every way. Check out our review and tell us what you thought in the comments.

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Ghost in the Shell

It’s Scarlett Johansson in the lead role of a human brain in a kick-butt robot body who learns all is not what she’s been told in an adaptation of the famous 90’s anime directed by the guy who did Snow White and the Huntsman. I think that about covers it. Chris, Rob, Herman, and Harris go into the deets and even deliver some spoiler talk after the ratings.

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Personal Shopper

Kristen Stewart teams up again with French filmmaker Olivier Assayas (with whom she made Clouds of Sils Maria) for this odd little indie ghost story. Stewart plays Maureen, who is living in France as a personal shopper for a celebrity, but really she’s there because of her dead twin brother. They were both mediums and they promised if either one of them died first they would give the other a sign. Maureen, not entirely sure the disturbances she’s witnessed were indeed spirits of dead people or something else, is going on three months with nothing and is unsure how to proceed. But when mysterious messages start showing up on her cell phone, she tries to understand how this relates to her brother. Chris and Beau give you the scoop on this art-house chiller.

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Iron Fist

“We didn’t make it for the critics, we made it for the fans”. This is the statement we choose to address today on our review for Netflix’s Iron Fist series. Mainly because as much as we are critics, on a considerably higher level we’re huge fans. Fans of Marvel, fans of the Marvel Netflix series, and BIG fans of Iron Fist as a character. So why was this series such a let-down? Chris, Harris, TJ, and Elliott investigate.

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Wilson

In this adaptation of a Daniel Clowes graphic novel, Woody Harrelson plays the titular Wilson, a misanthrope who still never stops trying to connect with people, despite his lack of understanding of social niceties. Ok, he’s kind of an asshole, but one you can’t help but sorta like. Into his life comes his long-estranged ex-wife (Laura Dern) who reveals that rather than having had an abortion when she left him, she gave birth to a child and gave it up for adoption. Wilson is thrilled to find this out and wants to develop them into a family, but is he even capable of such a thing? Chris, Beau, and Frank give you the skinny.

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Power Rangers

I know, there’s lots of critics out there talking about this new Power Rangers movie, probably on the whole with no real affection for the source material, and you, as a fan, are wondering: what would I think of this? Wonder no longer as Oneofus.net brings together two of our crew who are huge PR fans to give their take on the new movie, Chris Herman and Matt Frank. So check out our audio review here and shortly the video version.

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Life

Is there life beyond our planet? Could it have evolved elsewhere in the universe? If it did and it’s intelligent, would it be friendly? Well, I guess we’ll never know because this group of astronauts done pissed it off. Which is not good for them AT ALL, and potentially even worse for everybody on the planet down below if the thing were to get down there. Which is why Ryan Reynolds, Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, and Olga Dihovichnaya have to do whatever possible to keep this adorable little bugger where it is. Now, some may say I’ve already said too much. We do, in fact, describe the creature in detail in the review so those who want to go in completely blind might want to wait to listen to Beau, Chris, Sarah, and Richard talk about it. You have been warned.

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Beauty & The Beast

The question: is there a good reason for Disney to do a live action remake of their animated classic Beauty & the Beast? We definitely come to a VERY split decision on this one. Whether it’s the quality, or lack thereof, of Emma Watson’s Belle, or of Dan Stevens’ unnecessarily CGed version of the Beast, we have a lot to discuss. Listen to Chris, Sarah, Frank, and Beau come to blows.

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Kong: Skull Island

Stupid people, hubris against nature, hot lady, giant ape…you get the picture. Only this time it’s 1974 and we’re not trying to do a remake of the original again. I mean, yeah, there’s a lot of similar stuff, but the upshot is, it’s all on the island and JEBUS is it crawling with nasties. Somehow, Sam Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman, and the rest of this huge cast have to survive. SPOILER: most of them don’t.

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Before I Fall

Poor Samantha. Her friends (who are practically the “Heathers” from Heathers) don’t understand why she’s been acting so stressed out. Probably because Groundhog’s Day-style mystical experiences are WASTED on the young. Over and over and over she has to relive this day and she is having a heckuva time figuring out what she needs to do differently in order to stop it from happening. So what is happening? I dunno. Not a great movie. Or at least, one of us thought so. Listen to Chris and Beau disagree about this one.

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A United Kingdom

Rosamund Pike plays Ruth, an office girl in London who is swept off her feet by the dashing and handsome Seretse (David Oyelowo) who turns out to be a prince and she goes with him to his kingdom where they live happily ever after. Is this a Disney film? Oh, wait, he’s black, she’s white, it’s 1948 and South Africa (which recently had instated apartheid laws) ain’t having it. And if they ain’t having it, England wasn’t either, considering how much post-WWII debt they had and how much money was coming in from South Africa’s diamond and gold mines. What’s a lovely young couple to do? Put up a middle finger to the world and challenge established mores, that’s what. Chris and Beau take a look at this true story.

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Get Out

Jordan Peele makes his directorial debut in this intense, intelligent, and sometimes very funny horror movie. Imagine if you were a black man dating a white woman and you got talked into going out to her parent’s house for the weekend to meet them, and it turns out all their extended family and friends, and something is just…off. Like, eventually WAY off. You know what? Don’t read this, just listen to Chris, Beau, Patience, and JC do the review, then go see the movie. Trust us.

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Logan

Wolverine is old. He’s tired of all your shenanigans. He just wants to get drunk, do uber driving in his limousine, and bring even older-ass cranky Professor X his medicine so he doesn’t kill everyone with his dementia-addled mutant a-bomb of a brain. So, of course, somebody’s gotta f%$k up his groove. Another goddamn science company tinkering with mutants have screwed up his week by creating an adorable little girl version of Wolvie that needs his help. *SIGH* “Ok, FINE, let’s go”. He’s our hero. And director James Mangold should be too, creating what many are calling the best film in the entire X-Universe of movies. Some. Some of us even. Listen to Chris, Patience, Beau, Sarah, and Richard talk rather excitedly about the topic.

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Fist Fight

In this remake/reenvisioning of the 80’s movie Three O’Clock High, a schoolteacher (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia‘s Charlie Day) in fear of losing his job on the last day of high school, gets in trouble with another teacher (Ice Cube) who tells him with certainty: at 3pm in the parking lot, we’re gonna fight. Charlie Day vs Ice Cube. Not a hard call to make for a winner there. And Charlie’s no dummy, albeit an unsympathetic and pathetic worm of a man, and he tries everything he can think of to try and escape his fate. You’d think with a supporting cast like Tracy Morgan, Christina Hendricks, Dennis Haysbert, Dean Norris, Jillian Bell, and Kumail Nanjiani that this would be a comedy slam dunk. You’d think. Chris, Herman, Frank and JC set you straight.

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A Cure For Wellness

Gore Verbinski returns with his first horror film since The Ring…so, we were excited. A bit. I mean, did you see the trailer for this?

Looks, kinda classy, spooky, arty, and has Dane DeHaan up in that big spooky house protagonizing the shit out of it. So, outside of a drunken pirate Johnny Depp showing up, what could go wrong? Um, lots. Listen to Chris, Patience, Richard, Beau and Carlos give you the reasons why.

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The Lego Batman Movie

I’m Batman.

Ok, I’m not Batman and at this point in my life it seems unlikely I ever will be, but Will Arnett damn sure is, and one of our favorite actors to play (well, voice) the role ever. Of course, after his great turn in The Lego Movie as the Bat, he ended up with his own movie. Only this time with Robin (Michael Cera), Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson), Alfred Pennyworth (Ralph Fiennes), the Joker (Zach Galifianakis)…look, I don’t have all day to sit here and list the massive cast list. Go to IMDB like a big boy.

ANYHOW, the point is, this spin-off has a different writer/director team than The Lego Movie, but will that keep it from making fans SQUEEE the way the previous film did? Chris, Herman, Beau, Elliot, and Sarah put the bricks together for you.

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Fifty Shades Darker

“The Thing cannot be described – there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled.

If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful.”

Thanks, HP, that about covers it. Chris, Frank and Jon review this….movie.

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