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You know when you’ve got one of those adorable kids who does all your accounting for you because he’s got a super-genius level intellect and the patience of a saint while you’re a useless drunk who sits around and plays video games all day? Hey, if you take the kid out of the equation that sounds like me! But seriously, in this movie by Colin Trevorrow (Jurassic World), Naomi Watts is that mom. Of her two kids, the older is that kind of genius you only see on Nick! shows and the younger is the too-cute Jacob Tremblay (Room). They are just so goddamn happy until there is a major crisis in their lives and Mom realizes she’s going to have take Henry’s advice and deal with her child-molesty neighbor next door (Dean Norris). And I haven’t even told you the BAT SHIT INSANE parts yet. Not in a good way. You know how you guys are always like, “Man, I like it when they’re in physical pain from watching a movie, it’s funny” because you’re schadenfreude-drinking little bastards? Well, this is your food.Bon Appétit! Drink the Blood of Chris, Marco, Frank and Richard.
