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Highly Suspect Reviews: Assassin’s Creed

Michael Fassbender plays a bad dude. After a short ‘when he was young’ segment, the first time we see his character, he’s being trussed up to be given a lethal injection for his murderous crimes. Fortunately for him it’s a ruse, and a big corporation led by today’s version of the Knights Templar that have death row connections have secreted him away to their huge techy compound in Milan where they want him to connect to their big machine (THE CLAW!) and live out the memories of his assassin ancestor (also played by Fassbender) so he can tell them where an ancient artifact is. But, you know, they’re evil. And he’s kinda evil too. I think. Or something. Hell, I couldn’t figure it out. Chris, Beau, and Frank put their heads together the best they can on this review.

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