Highly Suspect Reviews: The Longest Ride

I know what you guys are all saying: “Damn, Chris, where the hell is my review for The Longest Ride? I’ve just GOT to know how the latest Nicholas Sparks film is. DAMMIT WHERE IS THE REVIEW!” Ok, already, here it is. Jeez. You guys are ridiculously huge Sparks fans.

Scott Eastwood plays rodeo bull-riding wanna-be-champ Luke Collins and he meet-cutes with wanna-be-east-coast-art-curator-college-girl Sophia Danko (Under the Dome‘s Britt Robertson). How will they possibly find a way to coalesce the needs of their raging hormones with their distinctly separate realities? Why, with the allegorically helpful flashbacks of an old Jewish man (Alan Alda) who tells them the stories of his love long past (performed in sepia-tone by Boardwalk Empire‘s Jack Huston and Oona Chaplin).


You might be surprised about our reaction to this one. Diva and Chris reporting in…

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