Highly Suspect Reviews: ‘The Boy Next Door’

January continues, like the long slow drip of Chinese water torture. Hey, speaking of things that are unbearable, it’s time for a sexy new thriller starring Jennifer Lopez as…Mary Kay Letourneau, apparently.

She’s a teacher who has an affair with a nineteen-year-old student, who’s still in high school for indeterminate reasons. The boy in question subsequently decides to go full cuckoo bananas and stalks J-Lo all kinds of weird. Think of it like Fatal Attraction, only it’s the guy who’s a looney. Oh, and it’s terrible.

So terrible in fact that only Brian and J.C. could be convinced to sit through The Boy Next Door, but these Unusual Suspects aren’t about to let that painful experience be in vain. Listen if you dare to the Highly Suspect Review of possibly the worst January dump runoff yet!



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