Somebody Likes It Ep 4 – Bon Jovi: “Slippery When Wet”

Excerpts from Shane Bartell’s Diary

Dear Diary-I’ve never felt sadistic until right now. I’ve told Kevin and Ryan that the next album I’ve chosen for us to discuss is Bon Jovi-“Slippery When Wet”. I know we’ve all been friends for many years, and I know that SHOULD provide some goodwill…but will they actually/eventually forgive me? Can I forgive myself for making them cram that nonsense into their ears…we’ll see.

Dear Diary- After attempting an initial listen, I now know that the goodwill I was counting on might not be enough. Even now, I’m steeling myself for a second dive into this cesspool. So far I’ve only been able to stomach 2 songs. I’ve already gotten a few late night texts from Ryan about how much he hates me for making him do this, and while I think he’s kidding (mostly), I really can’t tell anymore.

Dear Diary- What was I thinking? I thought this would be funny, and though it is, I can say with all seriousness that I wasn’t counting on the fact that I ALSO HAVE TO LISTEN TO THESE SONGS. My bones feel sore, like a low grade flu.

Dear Diary- Why does Jon Bon Jovi constantly reference the “bottle”?

Dear Diary- I’ve finally made it through all the songs. I feel kind of worn out. Exhausted. Well, drowsy really. I mean these songs aren’t tiring as much as they are boring. Don’t get me wrong, they are bad, and offensive, and confusing, but the overall effect is one of “change the channel” rather than run and hide. I’m left with a lot of questions, hopefully we’ll address many of those when we record. I know a lot of people really love this album, and after surviving a listen to the full record I’m ultimately left with a question. WHY? And also why——(unintelligible)—-

There’s more where that came from, but I fell asleep at the keys so we’ll just leave it there. Next week was supposed to be Hole-“Live Through This”, but at the 11th hour Kevin changed his mind, and we had to navigate the mines that make up “Straight Outta Compton”…(not quite a pun, but kinda punny!!!) See you in 7 days…Shane


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