It’s not the fault of science fiction that I like the booze. Sure, some variation of futuristic hootch shows up in about every canon eventually, but I have only my own desperate need for approval to blame for my dipsomaniacal past. That and it made me stop double-thinking myself long enough to be able to approach women.
But hey, this isn’t a Dr. Nerdlove feature, it’s a One of Us article, so let’s not ruin everyone’s evening by delving into the reasoning behind my past relationship failures, but instead, let’s raise a glass….TO THE FUTURE!
Why not, everyone else is. E.G. the folks in charge of branding over at Paramount, who’ll slap the ‘Star Trek’ label on just about anything with full confidence it’ll double down on the ducats almost immediately. Their latest offering delves into the world of adult beverages, Klingon Warnog.
Surprisingly, this Dunkelweizen (like a darker hefeweizen) with rye malt added sounds like a pretty tasty quaff. Although I gotta say, I would have figured Klingons to be more of the double IPA type. Or at least Guinness Stout. Assuming this does well at all (note to my bar owner friends: I will drink this), I’d expect more branded beers to follow, and probably not just from the Trek verse.
All that being said, malt beverages never really caught on with the bar-goers of the future. It’s always some sort of weird amalgam of ingredients that, of course, don’t exist (that we know of) that more often than not qualify as a cocktail rather than a frosty mug of suds. Needless to say, lots of geeky mixologists have developed their own variations on the assortment of adult beverages mentioned in passing in any number of fabricated futures.
But here’s where you’re lucky: I have personally (re: spent a lot of time on the internet looking) developed a list of the best versions you can make for yourself (unless you’ve got a wacky theme bar near you) of the most famous, and infamous, of the speculative spirits of space.
And with no further ado…
ROMULAN ALE
Definitely the most famous of the fictional drinks, Star Trek’s forbidden fermentation (because of a trade embargo, if you care) was nonetheless imbibed by pretty much everyone at any given occasion, with a furtive glance around the room and much celebration. Say what you will about the Romulans, they apparently know how to make the best drink in the galaxy. But if you wanted to recreate it here on Earth, how to even start? The most common recipe I’ve found (barring those that include grain alcohol, ’cause that stuff is poison) is also the tastiest.
1 shot blue Curacao 2 shots vodka
1/2 shot triple sec
top with lemon/lime soda
Shake over ice, strain into futuristic looking glasses.
Blue, yummy and a bit dangerous, this should be a satisfying and easy to make drink for your next geeky gathering.
Star Trek has presented a number of alcoholic concoctions though, one of the other most famous comes from the Klingons, and you can only imagine they dig the rough stuff…
KLINGON BLOOD WINE
Probably the most popular drink amongst the appropriately blood-thirsty Klingons, Blood Wine was first tried by a non-Klingon when Jonathan Archer (“Enterprise”) swilled the stuff while awaiting the verdict of his trial on Naredra III (“Judgement”). Traditionally served warm, but the publicans of the internet collectively have said, ‘screw that’ and come up with variations on the drink that have a mean bite, but at least go down cold. Here’s the one I chose as the best of the bunch:
1 oz. Rum, spiced
1 oz. Tequila, gold
Fill with Cranberry Juice
1 dash Grenadine
2 dashes Tabasco Sauce
Mixing Instructions
Add Tabasco sauce to an ice-filled beer mug or glass.
Pour in the tequila, rum and grenadine, and fill with cranberry juice.
Shake twice and serve.
I don’t know if I can describe this as ‘delicious’, per say, but it’s definitely downable and has the appropriate roughness you’d expect from the favored drink of such a warlike race.
That’s it for this installment of “Future Drinks”. More to come…in the future. But please, remember that alcohol is potentially dangerous stuff, both now and in the future. Remember the bar fight in “The Trouble with Tribbles”? Let’s face it, we’d be dead if we had been there. You can drink and have a good time AND be responsible. Don’t let folks get behind the controls of a star ship or any other kind of moving vehicle while downing these or any other alcoholic beverages. Your friends at Oneofus.net appreciate your caution, as we’d like to keep geeking out with you for many light-years to come.