Movie Review: ‘Pompeii’

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Kit Harrington (you know him as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) gets his Conan on in this historical disaster film from Paul W.S. Anderson. No, not the Boogie Nights Paul Anderson. The Resident Evil/Death Race Paul Anderson. So, fair warning.

Sadly, Brian and Chris heeded not this warning and plunged into the caldera of cinema. They died a little inside so that all of you could laugh. Laugh at their pain. Or was it giddy joy? I mean, it did have the amazing Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (just don’t ask them to say his name out loud), the accomplished Jared Harris, and the beautiful Emily Browning….oh wait, it also has Keifer Sutherland. Never mind.

Check your minds at the door for this review by the Unusual Suspects. Warning: Puns ahead. We really had no choice.