I have to say, One of Us has been pretty helpful to all you late shoppers. The Digital Noise Boys have put out two comprehensive guides full of suggestions of gifts you can give to the geek in your life. However, if you’re trying to avoid giving your loved ones boxed sets and Blu-Rays, it can be helpful to hear about what other types of nerd presents are prized among this community.
Thankfully for you, a few members of the INTERN-Net crew have volunteered to serve as your reference points. When we asked our team what they’d like to find under the tree this year, they has some interesting ideas (joke’s on them, because we’re just going to give them ornately wrapped boxes with nothing inside). We had to ask them to separate their wishes into real and fantastical gifts, so some of these gifts may be a bit out there. What does the INTERN-Net want this holiday season? I’ll start!
Regular Gift: Scorpion Jacket from Drive
Look, I get it. I can spend hours in front of the mirror using every beauty product imaginable, and I’m just not going to look like Ryan Gosling. It’s been rough, but I’ve come to terms with it. While his physical features may be unattainable, a replica of the jacket he wore in Drive is a scant $200+ dollars away from me. With this thing on, I’d feel like a real action hero as I cruised through the suburbs at 25 miles per hour in my clunky old Nissan. It’s all about attitude, guys.
Geektastic Gift: Fully-functional Iron Man armor
The story of Iron Man proves that anyone, even an alcoholic with limited combat experience, can save the world multiple times as long as the right equipment is accessible. I’d like to imagine that I would be as selfless as Tony Stark (at his best) and help the down-trodden if I was fortunate enough to possess the Iron Man armor. Of course, I’d probably just use it to fly around to exotic locations and fry buffalo wings with the repulsors. Don’t think of me as a hero.
Regular Gift: Gandalf’s Pipe
I don’t smoke. Nor do I plan on smoking if I ever get this pipe. I just want to hold it in my hand, and stick it in my mouth to look cool. Sure, I can do that with any other kind of pipe, but why not use the pipe of the GOD DAMN WHITE WIZARD? That way, during arguments, I can just laugh, pull out this pipe, and belittle my friend and say, “Oh my, you really are nothing but a fool of a took.”
Geektastic Gift: A Real Portal Gun
There is so many possibilities to be had with my portal gun. I could leave a main portal at my house, so when I go out to travel somewhere, I can just port back home whenever I’m done. This cuts my travelling expenses in half! I could also think of some devious pranks to pull on my friends. I’m also pretty lazy, so I can just port miscellaneous items from around the house, just so I can reach them from the comfort of my couch. But mainly, I just want to play patty cake with myself.
Ah, yes — I finally have an excuse to proclaim my desire for Christmas gifts, both tangible and fantastical, without feeling like a jerk! Thanks, OOU!!
Regular Gift: Perfect Miles Davis Collection
Not sure if this counts as a bona fide geek item, but it’s at least in the realm of music geekery. My choice for an actual gift would be the Perfect Miles Davis Collection box set, which is comprised of twenty (!!!) of the jazz maestro’s albums, including his masterpieces Kind of Blue, Bitches Brew and A Tribute to Jack Johnson, among others. Davis was one of the first musicians I got into in my recent deep-sea dive of new music, and it would be awesome if I had a large portion of his work within my physical reach. I haven’t listened to all of these albums, but it’d sure be a sweet catch if I managed to get this set in all of its sexily packaged glory.
Geektastic Gift: General Zod’s armor
If I’m going to pick something out of the realm of possibility for a gift, then I’m going to betray my ambivalence for flashy accessories. Having said that, I would kill to have General Zod’s armor from Man of Steel. Once I saw the production stills and clips of Michael Shannon in it, I knew that this version of Zod was already an instant badass. Although I’m no Kryptonian, just to walk around in that thing out in public would truly make me feel as powerful an extra-terrestrial warlord, if only for a brief moment. I was even a smidge disappointed that Zod didn’t keep the cape on for most of the movie — that’s how attached I was to how frickin’ cool it looked. A bit superficial, I know. But isn’t that what comes with an imaginary gift? Hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday!
Regular Gift: Steam and Amazon gift cards
Christmas is coming up again and I know what I want in my stocking, though I doubt I’m on Santa’s nice list. Still I’m hoping to see loads of Steam and Amazon gift cards with my name on them. Steam’s annual Christmas sale is coming up and as everyone knows, Steam’s sales are brutal on the wallet. Not to mention there are several things I’d like off Amazon. The deals simply call my name. So gift cards from either of those places would be very welcome.
Geektastic Gift: Geek Library
As for a more fantastical gift, that’s a tricky one. If I could have anything I guess it would be a library. Not just of books though but also of video games, comics, movies, TV shows, manga, and anime. Basically, imagine the library from Beauty and the Beast filled to the brim with stuff that would send my little geek heart a flutter. Plus it would solve that pesky problem of where to store everything.
Regular Gift: MacLeod Katana
I’m a pretty simple guy at heart. A tasty cold beer and the warm company of loved ones is all I ever really hope for come Christmas, but you don’t want to hear that shit! You want to hear what cool stuff I would like to get! If someone really got creative and had some cash to throw around they could get me matching Connor and Duncan MacLeod katana. Not the cheap crap mind you, high-end hand-forged tools of death only. Oh, add in some intensive lessons of course because what’s the point of having these babies if I don’t get to chop the crap out of something?
Geektastic Gift: Unca Scrooge’s Gold
If we’re leaving the realm of reality, I want Scrooge McDuck’s money bin and the three cubic acres of money held within. I don’t care if that makes me a greedy bastard or not, that’s what I want. With that kind of cash I could make pretty much any dream I wanted a reality. Unlike Scrooge I might even be inclined to give some away to charities and other worthy causes in the world and invest in industries I felt would help build a better tomorrow, and turn a profit of course. So there you go, one money bin please!
Damn. Those are some damn good choices that have come before me. But I’ll give it a go.
Regular Gift: Playstation 3
Shiny new consoles are great, but I can’t ultimately see the point of purchasing either one yet. I used to be a massive gamer, but that seems to have fell by the wayside quite a lot the past year or two. I think some of that has to do with how exhausted I’ve become with Microsoft and their once fantastic 360. Now, I’m forever disappointed by decisions, or entirely underwhelmed by programs such as games for gold. I want to regain my interest, and I want to get a Playstation 3 to ignite that spark once more and access some fantastic games that I missed this generation.
Geektastic Gift: A real life TARDIS
Editor’s Note: This is actually Chris Harrison at a mere 18 years of age
This one may not be surprising. I’d love a TARDIS, not only to travel around space and time at my own leisure but let’s be honest, to be pretty damn impressive to the ladies. I’d have a few good companions I tell ya!
I love the idea of customising my own theme and making it my own. I’d probably do more relaxing in it than the Doctor does though, there would definitely be the aforementioned PS3 attached to the console. Perhaps a cinema in there too? Stream movies from every time. Oh yeah, and maybe kill Hitler.
Well, hopefully some of these ideas give you a jumping off point if you need help picking a gift for the geek you love. Probably not, but hey, we tried.
Of course, we would love it if you used One of Us’ Amazon links to any and all of your online purchases. That way, some of the money you spend comes back to the site and helps us grow. Thank you for your support and happy holidays from One of Us!