Highly Suspect Reviews: Page 13 | One of Us

Highly Suspect Reviews: Page 13

Hosts: An Ever-Rotating Lineup of OOU.Net’s Unusual Suspects

That’s right, your favorite geek conglomerate website is now doing audio movie reviews! The cast of reviewers is subject to change even movie to movie, we have a whole rogues gallery of cinema outlaws, but one thing you can always count on is that these funny and insightful film reviews will always be, in some way, Highly Suspect.

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The Girl on a Train

Emily Blunt plays Rachel, an extremely broken woman and serious alcoholic, some two years out from her marriage falling apart and still can’t even vaguely get it together. Every day she rides the train to the city, passing by her old house where she can watch her husband and his new wife and child live together happily. But she also observes a beautiful couple who live nearby and fantasizes about their perfect life…until one day she sees the woman with another man…and then the woman disappears. Who did it? Rachel is afraid SHE might have done it during a black out so she has to get straight and play detective to discover the truth.

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The Birth of a Nation

Nate Parker produces, writes, directs and plays the role of Nat Turner, a slave who ended up leading a rebellion that killed many white slave owners. All reports are that this is one of the shoe-in best pictures of the year, with Fox breaking the record for deals at Sundance, paying 17.5 million for distribution rights. So what could possibly go wrong? Chris, JC, Elliott and Herman give you the heads up.

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Masterminds

The film follows Zach Galifinakis as a night guard at an armored car company who planned and executed one of the biggest bank heists ever. True story. Except for the Zach Galifinakis part. He just plays the guy. But he’s helped by Kate McKinnon, Owen Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis and Leslie Jones…with a cast like that it can’t be all bad, right? It appears our intrepid group of unusual suspects have some differing opinions on that.

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Deepwater Horizon

And it’s gonna be alllllllright. Chris Herman leads Frank, Jon, and Kyle in this review of the film that plays out the big-bada-boom that was the Deepwater Horizon oil rig and the subsequent biological disaster that followed. Not even Mark Wahlberg and Kurt Russell can save the day this time. But they might save the movie. Check out the review…

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The Magnificent Seven

Discussions happen (I imagine): “All of these westerns that we’re putting out are so dark. Why don’t we make one you can take the kids to? An old fashioned black hats vs white hats western!” So what do they do? Re-make one of those ‘fun’ westerns, specifically the 1960 classic The Magnificent Seven. Bring on Antoine Fuqua to direct, reunite the two leads from his best movie, Ethan Hawke and Denzel Washington, and add in the extremely bankable Chris Pratt and a selection of good character actors…how can it go wrong? Well, we had a mixed reaction to this one but some of us felt it went very wrong. Listen to Chris, Kyle, JC, Herman, and Jon discuss.

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The Hollars

You can never really go home again. Or at least if you do, you might find everyone there has turned into exaggerated cartoon versions of people. I don’t think that was John Krasinski’s intent when he directed and played the lead role in this dysfunctional family film, but that’s what Chris, Herman, and Frank thought.

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Snowden

Here, Joseph Gordon-Levitt takes on the titular role, and a voice affection that doesn’t seem entirely called for, is this attempt to make the story of this man’s life, and the reasons he did what he did, understandable. Frank and Chris get into it deep. Be prepared: this is indeed a very opinionated review not just of the film but of the Snowden controversy in general. And not just about Jo-Jo-Levy’s acting choices.

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Blair Witch

Director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett (The Guest, You’re Next) take over the long paused Blair Witch franchise with this long-hidden sequel. Basically, a new bunch of budding filmmakers enter the woods in a quest to discover what happened to the original group…and of course…well…you know. Chris, Frank, Herman, and Kyle tell you all about it. Plus spoiler discussion at the end…

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Sully

Tom Hanks may not be a great guy to choose to travel with, to be sure, but if he’s flying the plane, he’ll damn sure save every last one of ya. That’s what Captain “Sully” Sullenberger did in 2009 when both engines cut out three minutes after take off and he was forced to make a water landing….something that is usually best described as ‘plane crashes violently into the ocean.’ But, of course, saving every last person on board with a miraculous landing wasn’t enough so he had to be raked over the coals for not managing to get the plane back to the airport. THIS IS HIS STORY. Chris, Herman, and Kyle (now making his first HSR appearance) review.

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The Light Between Oceans

Michael Fassbender just got back from the Great War and honestly? He just doesn’t feel like talking to anybody at ALL. Which is why he took a position working as a lighthouse keeper out on this tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Sweet, sweet, exclusion. But here comes Alicia Vikander to f&%k it all up by flinging herself at him and making him fall in love…and then, no babies… WHERE’S THE DAMN BABIES? Oh, wait, there’s one in that boat that washed up after the storm. Well, honey, that baby probably belongs to someone..FINDERS KEEPERS, MFers. *this can’t possibly come back to bite us in the ass*

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Morgan

Kate Mara plays a corporate risk assessor who is called in to observe a scientific experiment possibly gone awry. That experiment is a teenage girl named Morgan. But she’s not just any teenage girl. She’s the product of a radical synthetic gene experiment, born and raised in a lab, only lately, she’s been going a bit wild. And how will Morgan react if Kate decides to shut the program down? One guess, get it wrong and it’s back to film 101 for you. Chris, Herman and JC break it down.

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Southside With You

It does seem a little soon to do a romantic meet-cute film about Barack and Michelle Obama’s first date, but here it is anyway. Are they adorable as they seem? Sort of.

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Don’t Breathe

A group of young people are breaking into houses trying to steal enough to finance an escape from economy-torn Detroit. But then they hear about the big score, the last one they’ll need to do: a house out in the middle of an abandoned neighborhood where an old blind man lives who has stashed $300,000. Should be no problem, right? Not when that old man is Stephen Lang. And the film is directed by Fede Alvarez. Chills abound in this thriller. Don’t believe the text? Listen to Chris and Rob assure you of scares.

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Kubo and the Two Strings

In this dreamy myth-like tale from Laika studios, Kubo is a young one-eyed Japanese boy whose mother and her strict rules have always protected him from the searching gaze of his father, the moon king, and his two creepy aunts. But now she is gone he has to rely upon an overprotective talking monkey and a giant beetle samurai to protect him until he can find three mystical pieces of armor that might protect him against his grandfather’s quest to claim his other eye. Sounds kind of crazy? Yes, but in the best way. Ask Chris, Richard, and Herman all about it.

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War Dogs

Jonah Hill is a wild man. He sells guns to the US military. Miles Teller is not a wild man. But he makes poor decisions when he’s around his old friend Jonah Hill. So he sells guns with him. Crazy shit happens. Payday. Their eyes set on an unrealistically big prize. Chaos ensues. You know the rise-and-fall type of movie all too well by now and this is another one based on true events. But this one is directed by the guy who did the Hangover movies (and pretty much, exclusively party comedies). Make what you will of that. Chris, Herman, Elliott and JC certainly did.

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Anthropoid

In 1941, two exiled Czech operatives (Cillian Murphy and Jamie Dornan) parachuted into their homeland with one mission: assassinate Hitler’s third in command, Reinhard Heydrich, the head of the Nazis in occupied Czechoslovakia and the architect of ‘The Final Solution’. The problem was, with a tiny resistance force and fears of reprisals, no one was sure what a good idea it was. Chris, Richard, and Kevin debate how good an idea this movie was…

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Sausage Party

What happens when Seth Rogen and company get access to an animation studio with the chance to make their own film? A very hard-R, gross-out, sex and food comedy is what happens. And whether that’s going to be YOUR thing is anyone’s guess. It sure wasn’t ours. Listen to Chris, JC, Herman, and Jon to find out why.

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Pete’s Dragon

Disney won’t leave a brand they own untouched, clearly, as they ‘re-imagine’ their 70’s live-action/cartoon film Pete’s Dragon into the modern-ish (just before cell phones) era. This story of a boy raised in the wild by a giant furry dragon and his new relationship with a human family probably gets all the feels from some. We definitely felt something. Not sure it was what they were looking for. Check out Chris, Frank, JC, and Rob as they curmudgeon their way through this review.

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Hell or High Water

Two brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) in west Texas have to save the family farm and it means robbing banks to do it. But a semi-retired good-ol-boy Jeff Bridges is hot on their trail. While this might not sound like a ‘grabber’ outright, our gang of reviewers (Chris, Herman, and JC) found this to be one of the best of the year.

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Suicide Squad

Not all heroes have halos. Some heroes aren’t even really heroes. Thus, DC’s Suicide Squad, a band of villains forced under threat of head explody to work for the government and stop a meta-threat. Will the villains/heroes succeed? Will Will Smith own the summer again (or at least rent with an option to buy)? Will Jai Courtney be able to act if they let him use his real accent? Will this be another nail in the coffin for DC’s current cinematic universe or will it give it sparkling fresh breath? The only way to know is to listen to Chris, Herman, Elliott, Joe and JC on this review.

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Jason Bourne

Matt Damon teams back up with shaky-cam fetishist director Paul Greengrass in a return to the Jason Bourne movies as the titular hero finds out yet again there’s something he doesn’t know about his past and someone to kill because of it. But is it any good? Listen to Chris, Herman, and Jon spill the secrets.

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Bad Moms

Mila Kunis has had it. No, not with Ashton Kutcher (though that’s gotta be coming soon, right?), but with her entitled children, her dead-beat (fictional) husband, and the society that expects her to be the perfect mom at all times. So what to do? Team up with Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn and go on a party binge. Where were these moms when I was in the singles scene, dammit? Listen to Chris, Elliott, and Herman tty to sweet talk these righteously dangerous ladies.

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Nerve

Emma Roberts joins a ‘Take a dare for money’ online game to prove that she’s not a stick-in-the-mud and ends up cozying up to Dave Franco and having a great time…until suddenly she isn’t anymore. I think we stopped having fun at about the same moment. Listen to Chris and Elliott who are joined by two new cast members, Rob and Frank, give you the lowdown on this movie.

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Star Trek Beyond

The intrepid crew of the Enterprise get together once again, this time halfway through their five year mission, to battle ennui, space herpes, and the vampires from Lifeforce (or Idris Elba in alien goop, your call). But seriously, we (Chris and Herman) did, on the whole, like this movie…up until they do…aaaigh…I can’t say it. Listen to the review. Where we STILL won’t tell you what it IS that they do, as it would be a giant spoiler, but…oh god.

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