Highly Suspect Reviews: Jem and the Holograms | One of Us

Highly Suspect Reviews: Jem and the Holograms

17 Submitted by on Thu, 22 October 2015, 14:59
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I said to myself, “Chris, go ahead and ask Harris and Cat if they want to go see and review this movie and if they say no, you’re off the hook, and you don’t have to go see it. This is short notice, they probably can’t do it”. And Harris and Cat said, “Yes”, or I believe Cat’s exact words were, “I am so in it’s not even funny”.

You see, “Jem and the Holograms” was originally a 80’s animated tv series and it had its fanbase. Cat was one of the members of that fanbase. I never would have heard of this thing if not for her. Dammit, Cat. Anyway, this theatrical live action adaptation is, as she says, “In name only”, and we proceed to thrash this thing down to an inch of its life. Come share our pain, won’t you?

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Born in the wilds of northern Virginia, in 1992 Chris managed to put all of his survival skills to use and barely escaped with his life to Austin Texas, where ever since he’s dabbled in everything from plumber’s assistant to sandwich maker, from band to bar management. An opportunity to see theatrical release films for free, by becoming a critic on a local public access show called “The Reel Deal”, turned into a full time job when Chris and his friends decided to take it to the internet. They built the site Spill.com, adding multiple podcasts and animated features, to no small amount of success. During this time, a fortuitous friendship sprung up between Chris and young Brian Salisbury, who was also a local film critic, and they merged their forces of will, and their laundry list of ideas for shows, to eventually build this paradise you see before you.
  • Steffen Pabst

    Yay! Cat and Harris!

    • dark knight fan

      Who are these two? Just kidding, I remember Cat and Harris.

  • Tristan Milner

    “Worst Movie of 2015”? Peanuts isn’t out yet.

  • dark knight fan

    Hey guys, just two more months for Star Wars.

    • Tristan Milner

      Spectre is two weeks away. Something to hold us over until then.

      • dark knight fan

        Just when you know it, 2 months become 2 mins. The Disney logo, Lucasfilm, Bad Robot, and finally “A long time ago in galaxy far, far away”, Star Wars Episode Vll: The Force Awakens.

        • Ben Aron

          Bob Iger said we’ll only see the Lucasfilm logo

          • dark knight fan

            That’s great.

    • Brandon Mack

      can’t wait to rent it as it is the only way I will watch it

  • E.Gus

    Called it

  • James Alexander

    I’m surprised you went to see this too, Chris. When I listened to you on the Double Toasted podcast, I figured you were just going to send Cat and Harris alone on this.

  • Bat42

    Here’s an interview with Christy Marx about Jem. Fun fact: she co-created Firestar with Stan Lee.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92dY68xwvnw

  • Andre Garcia

    I believe Pixels deserves an apology.

    • Rock-X

      I believe this is the crews’ response.

      • Andre Garcia

        No no no, they didn’t when Fant4stic came out, they didn’t when Hitman: Agent 47 came out, but now since this came out and anger them more than Pixels did, all I can say “I didn’t think Pixels was that bad after all.”

        • Rock-X

          That statement you just said reminds me of what Korey Coleman said years ago: I don’t remember which Spill review it was, but he said how it p’ed him how some audience members would say they liked one terrible movie over another and made the comparison of them saying “Its better for me getting a bowel movement instead of getting diarrhea”, to which his response (& my point) was this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a32270a5abd62cc6b8c253cf0a858f61cacba75af482f9b201ca83b75b07fec2.png

          • Andre Garcia

            At least with Pixels, I can say “well, if the writing was better, it could’ve been a better movie.” and at least the put effort on the visual effects and the film’s concept sounds cool. With Jem and the Holograms, the longer it went on, I realized there’s no saving it. Jem tries to be satire on Internet fame and the music industry today but its done badly and forced that’s it’s grading and facepalmish. Hell, I talk to Black Nerd Comedy about it and even he admit Pixels was a better movie. Here’s proof: