Highly Suspect Reviews: 'Cinderella' | One of Us

Highly Suspect Reviews: ‘Cinderella’

13 Submitted by on Thu, 12 March 2015, 15:01
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Hey kids, it’s time to gather around the fireplace and let The Unusual Suspects read you the story of Cinderella. Well, not so much read, but rather give our thoughts after watching Disney’s Cinderella. No, not the animated version. We’re talking about the live-action remake of the Disney animated version of the fairy tale. Too bad this isn’t Alice in Wonderland, because we definitely feel like we might be tumbling down a rabbit hole here.

Kenneth Branagh directs this iteration of the classic story about a girl whose widower father apparently didn’t have access to OkCupid, because he marries a horrid ice queen (played by Cate Blanchett if you can believe it) to be his daughter’s new stepmother. When he then kicks the bucket, step-mama begins to treat lovely little Ella as a servant, nicknaming her Cinderella because she sleeps next to…you know, if you don’t know the story by now, we don’t know what to tell ya.

J.C., Chris, Elliott, and Brian put on their best gowns and have a ball reviewing this latest entry from Disney’s we-don’t-know-if-we’ll-ever-have-another-hit-so-we’re-rehasing-all-our-former-hits trend.

Would Cinderella enchant, or would the guys be dashing for the exits long before the stroke of midnight?
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Brian is a four-year veteran of the interwebs, a member of The Austin Film Critics Association, and currently writes for Film School Rejects, Movie Pilot, Movies.com, and Fandango. An obsessive consumer of film, Brian loves everything from Buster Keaton to 80s post-apocalyptic sci-fi. He’s also a diehard Indianapolis Colts fan and collects VHS, laser discs, and classic game systems. An eighth-level geek overlord, Brian is one of the founders of OneOfUs.net, the brainchild of he and partner in crime Christopher Lawrence Cox. Brian cohosts both the Inside the Locker and Digital Noise podcasts.