'Tarzan' (2013): The Most Baffling Trailer Ever | One of Us

‘Tarzan’ (2013): The Most Baffling Trailer Ever

5 Submitted by on Tue, 03 December 2013, 10:00

Tarzan is probably my favorite 2D animated Disney film, next to The Lion King. The musical numbers are particularly fun and memorable. Who can forget the creative Trashin’ the Camp, where the animals get together and do a jazz scat number with clever uses of dishes and and other miscellaneous objects as percussion instruments? The researchers may not have been pleased, but the song was definitely worth it. It’s almost a celebration of primitiveness and the rejection of civilization. To hell with fancy-shmancy living and fine dining! Let’s be free of society and live in the jungle! For reference, here it is:

 

Honestly, there is something liberating about entertaining the idea of abandoning everything, and just living the rest of my days swinging on vines, eating foods without trans fats, and not wearing pants. But then again, my life wouldn’t be complete without cat videos.

So when I discovered that they were doing another adaptation of Tarzan, I asked myself that age-old question, “Do we really need another Tarzan movie? Especially one made with 3D animation?” But, I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt, and sat down and watched this new Tarzan trailer, and well… I’ll get back to you when you watch this:

 

 

So uh… I don’t… I don’t even… What was even that? First of all, the animation was bizarre. It’s not that it was bad per say, it’s just that the characters look dead in the eyes. Kind of like a Robert Zemeckis animated film. The colors look pretty bland and lifeless as well, which is the last thing you want out of an animated film. The voice acting is also pretty atrocious, it honestly sounds like the actors are just reading lines from the script for the first time and at gunpoint. It also looks like they are trying to modernize it, and have it take place during present times, and you know what? I can be down with that. They did it with Sherlock, and that’s a pretty awesome show. With all these elements, I would usually just dismiss it and just go meh…

But then they introduce the CRAZY ASS elements: space rocks and aliens. Like seriously? A space corporation that wants to harvest the energy of a meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs? What in the hell does a man raised by apes in a jungle have ANYTHING to do with the hunt for unobtainium? That’s basically what it is. It’s Avatar meets Tarzan. So it’s probably some garbage on how the meteor landed near where Tarzan lives, and the woman they sent out to find it bumps in to him, and Tarzan knows exactly what and where they are looking for. Also, are you telling me that this meteor has spawned alien life forms and a Pandora-like biome? Ugh, there is just so much this film is making you swallow, and it’s really hard to even care. Honestly, this isn’t Tarzan anymore, and the title seems like it’s just a cash grab. It feels more like an Avatar rip-off than anything else. They might as well call it, “Jungle Man Battles Nuclear Energy Corporation in the Race For Space Rock Energy.”

So OOUies, what are your thoughts? Whatever they are, comment below, and let One of Us know!

IV1

Written by

Born in the fiery pits of California, and raised in the wilderness of Washington, Angelo Elauria is one weird dude. Currently residing in the rainy city of Seattle, he acquired his B.A. degree (which stands for BAD ASS) in Psychology from the University of Washington. He hopes to one day brain bang you. He dreams of becoming a film director/writer, however, being a nerd comes first. He really loves everything creative and clever: Film. Animation. Television. Architecture. Video games. Robots. Gummy Bears. Robotic Gummy Bears. There isn’t anything that will fascinate him if he stops to really think about it. He also hates doing bios in third person.