Chuck The Pigskin: One Man's Quixotic Quest To Coach College Football | One of Us

Chuck The Pigskin: One Man’s Quixotic Quest To Coach College Football

0 Submitted by on Mon, 16 December 2013, 20:00

When I started this gig, I never thought I’d be covering anything local. The state of North Dakota doesn’t come up often in national news, let alone Grand Forks, the city in which I reside. All that changed due the actions of one man, Christopher McComas. An IT guy from a West Virginian school (Marshall University), McComas got the screwball idea to submit a rather unusual application for head coach for the University of North Dakota’s football team when he learned of the position’s availability via Twitter.

Here is the letter McComas sent to Brian Faison, UND’s athletic director:

“Mr. Faison,

I would like to express to you my interest in your now open position for head coach of football at the University of North Dakota

Currently, I work in IT at a college in West Virginia, but I have many years of experience with football, starting with attending my first Marshall University football game when I was 3 years old. In the past 30 years I’ve only missed a handful of Marshall’s home games, attended many road games, and all of their bowl games.

All the while I played various football games including Madden on Sega Genesis where I completely dominated with the Bills and Thurman Thomas. Seriously, was he a beast on the game or was he a beast because I was a football genius controlling him? I then moved on to a Playstation gaming system and purchased NCAA Football every year and put together several programs that completely dominated the recruiting scene and college football winning several national titles with Marshall University. I took them from a decent Mid-American Conference School on the game to a perennial national power that makes Nick Saban look like a chump. One year my third string quarterback left school early to enter the NFL Draft, he was a first round pick. Boom.

My football philosophy is basically an attacking one. We’re going to give AIR RAID a whole new definition. Theoretically how many times do you think a team can pass in a game? Challenge accepted. We’re going 5 wide, chucking the pigskin all over the place. Never punt. Onside every time. Chip Kelly will be calling me to learn my offense. We will put on an exciting brand of football, we will pack them into the Alerus Center night in and night out, go ahead and blow the roof off the place and add about 35,000 seats to that place.

I would love to speak with you further regarding this opening and what I can bring to UND, putting UND back on the national map and making NDSU our (b****).

Attached to this email you will find a PowerPoint with more information.

Thanks,

Christopher McComas

PS – I prefer Coke to Pepsi, so go ahead and fill the fridge up in the head coach’s office with Coke.”

 

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Christopher McComas

 

McComas’s pitch did go on to include a PowerPoint presentation (which you can view in its entirety here) and other bits of foolishness. Part of the charm here is the actual amount of effort it must have taken to put this thing together. If he would have slap-dashed this together, it wouldn’t have been given a second glance.

 

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Now UND is more than the local college, it is also my alma mater and the oldest institution of higher learning in the state. It is the very reason I now call the city of Grand Forks my home. Long story short, UND is a place of respect where I’m from, but funny is funny and McComas scored a touchdown with a two point conversion with this one!

The hometown reaction has been one of mostly general bemusement about the whole thing. I’m just glad McComas went after our football program instead our hockey team, (one of the best in the country by the way, not that I care about sports much) as that may well have had angry North Dakotans calling for his head. I personally think we should invite Mr. McComas up to Grand Forks for one big citywide bash to show we aren’t without a sense of humor and can take a joke. We’ve reacted badly to jokes at our expense before, only to look like bigger fools and be mocked more. I personally will go as far as to say if McComas does come up and we do meet, I’ll buy him a beer. What more could you ask than that?

Which teams do you think should also receive Chris McComas’ resume? What jobs are you “qualified” for, based on your geeky passions? Let us know in the comments!

Via the Grand Forks Herald

 

chirstmas

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Nine months before John was born his parents had sex. Born and raised in the cultural bubble that is the far Upper-Midwest, geek culture was John’s outlet to the outside world. John’s love of imagination and storytelling led him to passionately embrace the worlds of comics, TV, and film. It is a source of constant joy in John’s life that he wakes up every day with new avenues of geekdom to explore. In his brief stint on the planet, John has been everything from a dishwasher to a soldier serving a single tour in Iraq. John graduated from the University of North Dakota with a BA in English and currently resides in Grand Forks, ND, where he does stuff (and also things).